A Real Little Boy
The plane truth17 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Well. I always knew Pinocchio was bad, but the idea that he could be this bad was unimaginable. I think what I like best about this story is the fact that Geppetto didn't see any blood / gore etc. on the day he found the workshop broken into. Blinkered vision or a convoluted time line? Kate xx
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Well. I always knew Pinocchio was bad, but the idea that he could be this bad was unimaginable. I think what I like best about this story is the fact that Geppetto didn't see any blood / gore etc. on the day he found the workshop broken into. Blinkered vision or a convoluted time line? Kate xx
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Many thanks for another great response. G
Comment from JoannaN
This is a truly intriguing story, with a gruesome twist at the end. The reader expects yet another variation of Pinocchio story, to receive something dark instead. The concept of the old seemingly harmless Geppetto being a criminal is refreshing. I think the old tales have amazing potential when it comes to discoverying their new (hidden) sense. Have you had the chance to read the less known (more gruesome) Grimm/Andersen's tales (like The Red Shoes)?
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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This is a truly intriguing story, with a gruesome twist at the end. The reader expects yet another variation of Pinocchio story, to receive something dark instead. The concept of the old seemingly harmless Geppetto being a criminal is refreshing. I think the old tales have amazing potential when it comes to discoverying their new (hidden) sense. Have you had the chance to read the less known (more gruesome) Grimm/Andersen's tales (like The Red Shoes)?
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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It's always interesting trying to find a different take on things. G
Comment from damommy
Wow! I was hooked right away. Apparently, the wooden boy was very strong to have torn the door off the workshop. Creepy ending, "I'm a boy, I'm a boy. A real, little boy." Definitely not the Pinocchio I grew up with. hahahaha
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Wow! I was hooked right away. Apparently, the wooden boy was very strong to have torn the door off the workshop. Creepy ending, "I'm a boy, I'm a boy. A real, little boy." Definitely not the Pinocchio I grew up with. hahahaha
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Many thanks, Yvonne. I'll get around to reading your story soon. I've been very busy. lol
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Thank you. I may pull it. I'm not getting any reviews.
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Don't pull it. to be honest, I get very few reviews these days and I refuse to 'buy them'.
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Thank you for that. I'm not buying them either. I don't post my poetry high for the same reason. You get all those reviews from people you never heard of before, and you know it's for the payoff.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I loved the Pinocchio story. I guess the murder and the findings is your twist on the story. It has been so long since I read it, I don't remember. You did a great job. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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I loved the Pinocchio story. I guess the murder and the findings is your twist on the story. It has been so long since I read it, I don't remember. You did a great job. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Much appreciated, as always. G
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I don't have any sixes left and this was soooooo good! I don't know if I'll even like Pinocchio again!! You've turned it into a real horror story! This is so well written, Gareth, I was glued to it all the way through. Very well done! :)) Sandra xxx
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I don't have any sixes left and this was soooooo good! I don't know if I'll even like Pinocchio again!! You've turned it into a real horror story! This is so well written, Gareth, I was glued to it all the way through. Very well done! :)) Sandra xxx
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Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I had fun with this. i just sat down earlier in write it in one go. About an hour and a half I think, with my daughter bartling about in the background (she's having a pacing around day today!).
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I can see you enjoyed writing it. Lol. This is not a story for your daughter, she'll have nightmares!! 😂
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You want to see what she reads....
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Hmm, she must take after her dad!!! 😂
Comment from phill doran
Hello G,
A dark and clever idea (I was wondering for a while where we were going) sort-of Enid Blyton meets Cormac McCarthy, although most of these 'children's tales' already have tar-black undertones and generally you need not dig too deep for material.
Technically, as a written piece, very good as usual - this has a nice pace and is very compact. Easy reading. (Perhaps "Hill" and "Grey" are incongruous names "Collina" and "Grigio" might be more to the point).
You might roll out some more of these if you have not already.
Cheers - I wish you well with your continued writing. This is dark, and interesting and strongly written.
phill
ps:
"...He puled on his work clothes..." (pulled)
"...image from the table, " - these..." (I think you've a double space after the comma)
"...and both men left the room..." (ditto, after 'men')
"..."I'm a boy, I'm a boy. A real, Little boy."..." (I think 'little' with a lower case l)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Hello G,
A dark and clever idea (I was wondering for a while where we were going) sort-of Enid Blyton meets Cormac McCarthy, although most of these 'children's tales' already have tar-black undertones and generally you need not dig too deep for material.
Technically, as a written piece, very good as usual - this has a nice pace and is very compact. Easy reading. (Perhaps "Hill" and "Grey" are incongruous names "Collina" and "Grigio" might be more to the point).
You might roll out some more of these if you have not already.
Cheers - I wish you well with your continued writing. This is dark, and interesting and strongly written.
phill
ps:
"...He puled on his work clothes..." (pulled)
"...image from the table, " - these..." (I think you've a double space after the comma)
"...and both men left the room..." (ditto, after 'men')
"..."I'm a boy, I'm a boy. A real, Little boy."..." (I think 'little' with a lower case l)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Hi Phil, many thanks for the great reviews and rating. I've written a few of these type of things in the past. I find them amusing to do, so I'm really just pleasing myself! lol
Super job with the catches. G
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, I like how you took a real story and transformed it into a new genre, mystery and crime. Poor Geppetto accused of killing his wooden made son. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Wow, I like how you took a real story and transformed it into a new genre, mystery and crime. Poor Geppetto accused of killing his wooden made son. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
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Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Many thanks as always.
