My Dad's Shocking Discovery
I will always remember this amazing time with my dad47 total reviews
Comment from Elviss
This is a good read. It encompasses a hint of nostalgia that will surely capture the attention of any reader. I feel like the title could have been something else, seeing as there is no mention of a particular discovery by the father. Nonetheless, a solid read!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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This is a good read. It encompasses a hint of nostalgia that will surely capture the attention of any reader. I feel like the title could have been something else, seeing as there is no mention of a particular discovery by the father. Nonetheless, a solid read!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Elvis, thank you for reviewing my poem. However I do have to ask you if you don't think that after living on a ship, fighting a world war, and going through what him and so many others have, wouldn't be a shocking discovery that your ship was a national monument, docked in such a place like Charleston Navy yard next to the USS Constitution was a shocking discovery?
Just finding out it was still in one piece would have been a shock. My dad actually broke out in tears when he found out. I am sorry you didn't get that but I do appreciate your review. Thank you!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes and we're not always privy to the deeds of those around us.
So a few years later, at 15 years old, he lied his age - lied about his age?
He never spoke of it, and preferred that we didn't as well.- this idea would appear lost on today's generation where everything is public! lol
Minge in the UK is a slang term for lower womanly parts - just saying!
It was towards the end of the war when the ship, the USS Cassin Young would take- should be a comma following the ship's name.
the USS Cassin Young would take it's most violent attack. - its. (no apostrophe)
in assisting in the ships maintenance throughout the years. - ship's.
All the best in the voting
GMG
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Hi there,
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes and we're not always privy to the deeds of those around us.
So a few years later, at 15 years old, he lied his age - lied about his age?
He never spoke of it, and preferred that we didn't as well.- this idea would appear lost on today's generation where everything is public! lol
Minge in the UK is a slang term for lower womanly parts - just saying!
It was towards the end of the war when the ship, the USS Cassin Young would take- should be a comma following the ship's name.
the USS Cassin Young would take it's most violent attack. - its. (no apostrophe)
in assisting in the ships maintenance throughout the years. - ship's.
All the best in the voting
GMG
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you very much my friend. I apologize for the delay in responding and thanking you as I took notes from all the kind feedback and edited late last night. Lol, I am not a storyteller but prefer poetry. But somehow believed that he deserved a better tribute. So thank you for your kind help and words.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
How wonderful that you discovered your Father's history and were able to celebrate his heroic past and accept the medals he deserved here, a fascinating and interesting story shared with us here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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How wonderful that you discovered your Father's history and were able to celebrate his heroic past and accept the medals he deserved here, a fascinating and interesting story shared with us here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Oh thank you so very much Dolly! I appreciate your lovely review and words more than I can say. This was a delight to share this story for the first time and do it with my friends. I will feel closer to him this year on Father's Day because of all the kind words, and I thank you again my friend.
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is a heart-warming tale and one that touched familiar notes for me (my Grandad, who never spoke of his combat experience, and my Father-in-Law, who also lied to join the navy at 15).
What a great man and I'm so pleased you discovered more about him :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'at 15 years old, he lied his age' - needs an 'about' after 'lied'
'legs had both been blown off, but still lived long' - needs a 'he' before 'still'
'one of the biggest honor of his lifetime' - should be 'honors'
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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This is a heart-warming tale and one that touched familiar notes for me (my Grandad, who never spoke of his combat experience, and my Father-in-Law, who also lied to join the navy at 15).
What a great man and I'm so pleased you discovered more about him :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'at 15 years old, he lied his age' - needs an 'about' after 'lied'
'legs had both been blown off, but still lived long' - needs a 'he' before 'still'
'one of the biggest honor of his lifetime' - should be 'honors'
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Mike, I thank you so very much for your kind review and comments regarding my dad finding that his ship was a National Memorial, for all to pay tribute to. Not only for the just the crew from that ship, but as he saw it, for all who fought in the war. It was truly an amazing thing to be a part of it, yet he was so very humbled by it all. I also thank you for the valuable feedback that I took notes on and edited late last night. Thank you again for all of your kind words as well my friend!
Comment from leather
This is my last six-star rating, and it is now yours. This story is wonderful and engaging. Not only that, but I learned a little history lesson. I thank you much for this writing.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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This is my last six-star rating, and it is now yours. This story is wonderful and engaging. Not only that, but I learned a little history lesson. I thank you much for this writing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much! I so appreciate your lovely review and words, and your very generous six stars. Wow, what a special treat that was for me and like another star for my dad. : ) And I can't thank you enough my friend! Since I am not a story teller, as I usually write poems only, I could see the edits that were needed after posting it, and redid much of it last night. I hope it turned out ok in the end. This one was so very special to do this for my dad, even if he is no longer with us. Especially on Father's Day! Thanks again my friend!!
Comment from Jay Squires
What a fascinating and well-written tribute to your father. You have every reason to be proud of him, and I'm sure he would have been proud that you loved him enough to broadcast the word of his exploits.
Here are a few thoughts I had while reading. I hope you find them helpful and that they tweak an already superbly written story, and tighten it up for the contest. Here we go:
So a few years later, at 15 years old, he lied his age ["... he lied ABOUT his age..."]
This attack would be the last one to any ship during WWII. [You need a paragraph space for this sentence.]
My favorite was; [You need a colon here, not a semicolon.]
" ... what he already was to us; a hero. [Also, here you need a colon, not a semicolon: after "us".]
I hope you have all your expectations met in this contest and that this story takes you to the top.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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What a fascinating and well-written tribute to your father. You have every reason to be proud of him, and I'm sure he would have been proud that you loved him enough to broadcast the word of his exploits.
Here are a few thoughts I had while reading. I hope you find them helpful and that they tweak an already superbly written story, and tighten it up for the contest. Here we go:
So a few years later, at 15 years old, he lied his age ["... he lied ABOUT his age..."]
This attack would be the last one to any ship during WWII. [You need a paragraph space for this sentence.]
My favorite was; [You need a colon here, not a semicolon.]
" ... what he already was to us; a hero. [Also, here you need a colon, not a semicolon: after "us".]
I hope you have all your expectations met in this contest and that this story takes you to the top.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Jay, I thank you so very much for your kind review and comments regarding my dad finding that his ship was a National Memorial, for all to pay tribute to. Not only for the just the crew from that ship, but as he saw it, for all who fought in the war. It was truly an amazing thing to be a part of it, yet he was so very humbled by it all. I also thank you for the valuable feedback that I took notes on and edited late last night. Thank you again for all of your kind words my friend!
Comment from karenina
What a wonderful story! How great that circumstances aligned so that your dad was able to experience this--and bring his family along!
It was so like many WWII vets to keep quiet..both about the tragedy of war and about their own heroism and sacrifice.
*check .. ."given one of the biggest honor (should be honors) of his lifetime..."
I hope I'm back to congratulate you on this!
Karenina
I loved every moment of this read. God Bless your father and God Bless you for keeping his story alive!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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What a wonderful story! How great that circumstances aligned so that your dad was able to experience this--and bring his family along!
It was so like many WWII vets to keep quiet..both about the tragedy of war and about their own heroism and sacrifice.
*check .. ."given one of the biggest honor (should be honors) of his lifetime..."
I hope I'm back to congratulate you on this!
Karenina
I loved every moment of this read. God Bless your father and God Bless you for keeping his story alive!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Karenina! I so appreciate your lovely review and words, and your very generous six stars. Wow, what a special treat that was for me and I can't thank you enough my friend! Also, your feedback was so valuable, since I am not a story teller, as I usually write poems only. But this one was so very special to do this for my dad, even if he is no longer with us. Especially on Father's Day! Last night I took notes on everyone's helpful feedback and laid in bed with my iPad on my stomach and worked on edits.
Lol, I did wake up a few times and had to start some over again, as my hand accidentally deleted some stuff. However, I was so thankful for the help that I didn't want to wait until today to do. Thanks again!!!!!!
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Great work!
Excellent job with prose!
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Lol, I'm sure it was like no story you've ever heard before!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
What a wonderful story in honor of your father. He deserved to be honored by the Navy as he gave his health to his country at such a young age. I can imagine how exciting it must have been for you, his children, to learn so much about his past and his heroism.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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What a wonderful story in honor of your father. He deserved to be honored by the Navy as he gave his health to his country at such a young age. I can imagine how exciting it must have been for you, his children, to learn so much about his past and his heroism.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Carol, I thank you so very much for your lovely review and comments regarding my dad finding that his ship was a National Memorial, for all to pay tribute to. Not only for the just the crew from that ship, but as he saw it, for all who fought in the war. It was truly an amazing thing to be a part of it, yet he was so very humbled by it all. Thank you again for all of your kind words my friend!
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, a story of honor, courage, and love for your fellow-man as well as love and pride for your Father, a war hero.
You've penned an amazing story. During WWII, it was common for under-age enlistees to lie about their age. Most did this because there was family at home who hardly had enough food to eat, and heating a home was sheer luxury.
Your father carried around a lot of guilt for a long time. It was God's will that he saw the story about his navy ship and learned that it had been turned into a National Monument. What was even better was that you and your Dad got to tour the ship, and he received the recognition that he so deserved.
I'm glad that your Dad finally accepted his Purple Heart and other medals
that he so well deserved.
I have a few suggestions regarding puntuation, etc.
--he lied his age ... he lied (about) his age.
--He called Congressman Minge who was assigned to our location, to check out the information he had read
Suggestion: He called congressman Minge who was assigned to our location to verify the information.
--Minge then checked out my dad's story with the person in charge from US Navy Services and it wasn't long before we heard from Bill Foley, the head of the Naval Yard in Boston.
Suggestion: Make above into two sentences or add a comma after
US Navy Services,
Handsome photo. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
Six stars for the war hero and his beloved daughter. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Hello author, a story of honor, courage, and love for your fellow-man as well as love and pride for your Father, a war hero.
You've penned an amazing story. During WWII, it was common for under-age enlistees to lie about their age. Most did this because there was family at home who hardly had enough food to eat, and heating a home was sheer luxury.
Your father carried around a lot of guilt for a long time. It was God's will that he saw the story about his navy ship and learned that it had been turned into a National Monument. What was even better was that you and your Dad got to tour the ship, and he received the recognition that he so deserved.
I'm glad that your Dad finally accepted his Purple Heart and other medals
that he so well deserved.
I have a few suggestions regarding puntuation, etc.
--he lied his age ... he lied (about) his age.
--He called Congressman Minge who was assigned to our location, to check out the information he had read
Suggestion: He called congressman Minge who was assigned to our location to verify the information.
--Minge then checked out my dad's story with the person in charge from US Navy Services and it wasn't long before we heard from Bill Foley, the head of the Naval Yard in Boston.
Suggestion: Make above into two sentences or add a comma after
US Navy Services,
Handsome photo. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
Six stars for the war hero and his beloved daughter. LateBloomer
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you so very much Margaret for your very lovely review and such kind words for my story regarding my dad finding that his ship was a National Monument and Memorial. I can't thank you enough for the generous gift of six stars as it feels almost like a gift for him for Father's Day! Somehow writing this and all the wonderful comments almost seem to make me feel closer to him this year than I have in the five years since he's been gone.
I also want to thank you for the awesome feedback, as I spent most of my night editing after all the helpful suggestions. Lol, I think I will mostly stick with my poems for now on. Thanks again my very lovely friend!
Comment from John Ciarmello
What an excellent piece. I loved the story behind this, and I'm sure you and your siblings were proud of your dad whether or not he had shared the story. How fortunate and life-altering for you all that he did. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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What an excellent piece. I loved the story behind this, and I'm sure you and your siblings were proud of your dad whether or not he had shared the story. How fortunate and life-altering for you all that he did. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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John, I thank you so very much for your kind review and comments regarding my dad finding that his ship was a national memorial, for all to pay tribute to. Not only for the just the crew from that ship, but as he saw it, for all who fought in the war. It was truly an amazing thing to be a part of it, yet he was so very humbled by it all. Thank you again for all of your kind words my friend!
