Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Recess"Musings of an old man - 2022
62 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
I love the artwork that you have chosen for this very well written poem. The repitition works really well. I found it very atmospheric. All the best. Jen
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
  |
I love the artwork that you have chosen for this very well written poem. The repitition works really well. I found it very atmospheric. All the best. Jen
Comment Written 17-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
Jen, thank you for your review and validation
Comment from jake cosmos aller
like this double kyrie form about boys playing in the words. the poem fits the photo prompt very well. you nailed the form. I like the last stanza the best
Fields are awash with wildflowers
amid the trees the air is cool.
Play winds down while counting the hours,
watch them cavort around the school.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
|
like this double kyrie form about boys playing in the words. the poem fits the photo prompt very well. you nailed the form. I like the last stanza the best
Fields are awash with wildflowers
amid the trees the air is cool.
Play winds down while counting the hours,
watch them cavort around the school.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
Jake, thanks very much!
Comment from Sarah Tummey
I like the repeating of the 'Cool' and 'School' lines for 2 and 4, and the 1s and 3s rhyme with each other too. It's cleverly done, and you got the 8 syllables per line.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
|
I like the repeating of the 'Cool' and 'School' lines for 2 and 4, and the 1s and 3s rhyme with each other too. It's cleverly done, and you got the 8 syllables per line.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
SrH, Thank you fro your review and comments of validATION.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your double refrain kyrielle is excellent in every respect--skillfully and creatively written, appealing, and vividly descriptive of kids having carefree play time.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
|
Your double refrain kyrielle is excellent in every respect--skillfully and creatively written, appealing, and vividly descriptive of kids having carefree play time.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
Smiling back! Thank you,
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That takes us back a long way, I think all children went out in the sunshine to play on the in the playground at the end of school. The poem goes on to show the fields and trees, all things the children loved back then. Well done with this club entry! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
|
That takes us back a long way, I think all children went out in the sunshine to play on the in the playground at the end of school. The poem goes on to show the fields and trees, all things the children loved back then. Well done with this club entry! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
Sandra, thank you!
Comment from GTG345
Just a great poem, some of the words are vast with multiple words I never knew. One in particular was "bopeep", I looked it up and the first thing that showed up was that toy story character. I eventually found the definition and it made a lot more sense. I think it would be better if you added a "-" to the word to make it "bo-peep" because when I looked it up that is what it looked like.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
|
Just a great poem, some of the words are vast with multiple words I never knew. One in particular was "bopeep", I looked it up and the first thing that showed up was that toy story character. I eventually found the definition and it made a lot more sense. I think it would be better if you added a "-" to the word to make it "bo-peep" because when I looked it up that is what it looked like.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
GTG345- thanks I included a definition of bo-peep, and thank you for the suggestion,
Comment from R.B.Bunn
This was very well written with the form. I loved both refrains. You really did a good job setting the scene with the imagery. It was easy to imagine everything going on.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
|
This was very well written with the form. I loved both refrains. You really did a good job setting the scene with the imagery. It was easy to imagine everything going on.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2022
-
Thank you!
Comment from judiverse
You did great work with your Double Refrain Kyrielle. Both of your repeating lines are excellent and add so much to the thought of the poem. I enjoyed your description of the clouds. You make an interesting distinction between the boys' and the girls' games. You create the feeling of what's expressed in the poem. The picture is certainly great to inspire writing. It shows how different school days were from what they are now. judi
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
You did great work with your Double Refrain Kyrielle. Both of your repeating lines are excellent and add so much to the thought of the poem. I enjoyed your description of the clouds. You make an interesting distinction between the boys' and the girls' games. You create the feeling of what's expressed in the poem. The picture is certainly great to inspire writing. It shows how different school days were from what they are now. judi
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
Judi, thank hi and yes recess in todays school pale in comparison to days gone past.
Comment from Bridge
A lovely poem. The artwork is beautiful and suits your poem. I have never come across this form and it seems quite difficult to write. Very well done.
With regards
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
A lovely poem. The artwork is beautiful and suits your poem. I have never come across this form and it seems quite difficult to write. Very well done.
With regards
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem.
Comment from lyenochka
I think you covered the activities shown in this picture. You are perceptive to see the girls in the background playing "bo-peep" which fits the timeframe of the picture! I guess the joys of almost summer was the same then and now.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
I think you covered the activities shown in this picture. You are perceptive to see the girls in the background playing "bo-peep" which fits the timeframe of the picture! I guess the joys of almost summer was the same then and now.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
Thank you~
