Reviews from

Heart Crafted Poems - 2022

Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Recess"
Musings of an old man - 2022

62 total reviews 
Comment from zanya
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Times past reignited here in a Double Refrain Kyrielle evoking an atmosphere of quiet joy and expectation that' Recess' is here and Nature is blooming in all Her beauty - where did that beautiful picture come from ?

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Hi Zanja, Thank you. Our cloud leader Jan (Jannypan) is the wonderful conduit for these Picture this club weekly offerings.You might consider dropping in. There are many good writers, such as yourself, who participate.
Comment from livelylinda
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

JLR: I am not familiar with this type of poem, however, I received much joy in reading it. It made me smile and think of younger days (much younger).
The rhyme and rhythm was like a boat ride amongst calm waves remembering the unencumbered days of youth. I'm still smiling. Keep writing these. Linda

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    thanks much, Linda!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Excellent
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Ahhhhh, the last days of the school year. What an exciting event for kids of all ages. Almost as tantalizing as Christmas or a birthday. You've expressed a child's anticipation very nicely.

Good job.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Gary, Thank much!
Comment from evilynne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That is very interesting, well written and seems to follow the format described in the author's note. I can just see the children cavorting around the school! The picture is marvelous. Evi

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Evi, wow! I'm humbled, thank you!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Your club response, read well, JLR. Great job with the
style. Your words painted an fun and exciting picture,
of school kids enjoying their recess. The repeated lines
fit in seamlessly to carry the meaning through til the
end.
Thanks for participating, Jan

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Thanks Jan, Love what you do for the clubs!
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very descriptive poem! It tells the story of the artwork perfectly. I always have trouble with staying within poem form guidelines, but this one looks perfect to me! Great poem!

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Sams much Sam Duck!
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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A timely post as each of my grandchildren are finishing out their school year this week.

Excellent choice of refrain lines which weave so well into the various scenes in each of the four stanzas.

Reminiscent of those days when children loved to interact face to face, engaging with one another and nature. So much to love in a non-virtual world!

Karenina



 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    I hope your summer days are filled with abundant joy and laughter a with each grandchild. Thanks for the validation.
reply by karenina on 14-Jun-2022
    Thank you for writing this!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
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I loved this piece! It brings you to a place in time where you want to be. An old fashion feeling which I love. A feel-good piece if I've ever read one. Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    John thank you for the kind words!
Comment from Fleedleflump
Excellent
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I've read quite a few of these recent (presumably due to the club) and they are coming out great. Your refrains both work well and you do a solid job of using them naturally in each stanza, whilst developing the meaning of the repeating line.

I'm sure I used to have play times, though the memories are distant, lol.

Mike

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Mike, thank you! My memories are also dimming around those times.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Well done, a beautifully written Kyrielle with a double refrain. The students and the activities are vividly portrayed with great imagery and the lovely descriptive, beautifully written Jim, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
    Blessings back, dear sir!