The lion
my father22 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Your father's influence in your life shows very strongly and warmly here in your emotional address. Encouraging reading and creativity
Suggestions:
so in the end all it worked in my favor
this would read better if 'all' and 'it' changed places:
so in the end it all worked in my favor
My dear father,(add a comma here) you fought like a lion
  |
Your father's influence in your life shows very strongly and warmly here in your emotional address. Encouraging reading and creativity
Suggestions:
so in the end all it worked in my favor
this would read better if 'all' and 'it' changed places:
so in the end it all worked in my favor
My dear father,(add a comma here) you fought like a lion
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
Comment from Edward Escobar
I am touched so spiritually when one seeks the presence of our Father able to sooth away any physical or spiritual pain. He is has become the love of my life, since having become a constant prayer in need of his presence. Your words have touched me deeply. Great work. Ed
|
I am touched so spiritually when one seeks the presence of our Father able to sooth away any physical or spiritual pain. He is has become the love of my life, since having become a constant prayer in need of his presence. Your words have touched me deeply. Great work. Ed
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This is well composed, and well written.
The font is a little hard to read, but I like how it mirrors the delicate tone of your writing.
The use of the repeated phrase creates a loop for the reader to reconnect.
This is a strong contest entry that I how will do well.
|
This is well composed, and well written.
The font is a little hard to read, but I like how it mirrors the delicate tone of your writing.
The use of the repeated phrase creates a loop for the reader to reconnect.
This is a strong contest entry that I how will do well.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, The Lion, blends the reverence for both God and your dad. Sounds like you were well directed and motivated by the man. Neat.
|
This story, The Lion, blends the reverence for both God and your dad. Sounds like you were well directed and motivated by the man. Neat.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Very nice tribute to your earthly father under the guise of praying to your Heavenly Father.
Just a couple of observations:
Para 2, 8th sentence: Remove one space between "in" and "the"
Para 4, 1st sentence Add "be" before "enchanted"
Fortunately, we can always count on our Heavenly Father to care for those we have lost to Heavens call.
Very nice.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
|
Very nice tribute to your earthly father under the guise of praying to your Heavenly Father.
Just a couple of observations:
Para 2, 8th sentence: Remove one space between "in" and "the"
Para 4, 1st sentence Add "be" before "enchanted"
Fortunately, we can always count on our Heavenly Father to care for those we have lost to Heavens call.
Very nice.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much Gary for your corrections and the wonderful review:) I wish you a wonderful day and thank you for taking a chance on reading this piece:)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the "A Special Time for My Dad and Me" contest.
I enjoyed reading your story. Your father sounds was a good man with a love for music. Im sorry for your loss. Your mother passed on good habits too.
It moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand and follow. Good character development.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
|
Excellent entry for the "A Special Time for My Dad and Me" contest.
I enjoyed reading your story. Your father sounds was a good man with a love for music. Im sorry for your loss. Your mother passed on good habits too.
It moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand and follow. Good character development.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
-
Thank yo so much my Haiku Queen:)
Comment from simonbagh
Your faith is shining in this poem, your faith in heavenly Father and your love for your earthly father, you have described your father so beautifully that the reader admires him, and sure gets to the point of view that fathers are angels of their children, thank you very much for sharing it
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
|
Your faith is shining in this poem, your faith in heavenly Father and your love for your earthly father, you have described your father so beautifully that the reader admires him, and sure gets to the point of view that fathers are angels of their children, thank you very much for sharing it
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much Simon for the wonderful review:) I wish you a wonderful day and thank you for taking a chance on reading this piece:) My dad indeed was special
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Poignant says it all. If true, this was a nice memory and yet I must add, sorry for the loss at such an early age, and yet the memories live on. That's a good thing.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
|
Poignant says it all. If true, this was a nice memory and yet I must add, sorry for the loss at such an early age, and yet the memories live on. That's a good thing.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much for your review and compassion, I miss him and without him my world is shatter, but God is here to help me through every second
Comment from Ulla
Oh for a moment I was confused which contest this belonged to. At first I thought it was the site sponsored contest, but now I see, I was wrong. This another take in this contest. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
|
Oh for a moment I was confused which contest this belonged to. At first I thought it was the site sponsored contest, but now I see, I was wrong. This another take in this contest. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Ulla:)
Comment from dmt1967
That praise got me more books, so in the end () all worked in my favor. (it)
Great poem although, in some places, I didn't know if you were talking to your father or the father. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
|
That praise got me more books, so in the end () all worked in my favor. (it)
Great poem although, in some places, I didn't know if you were talking to your father or the father. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much for your corrections and the wonderful review:) I wish you a wonderful day and thank you for taking a chance on reading this piece:)
