Sinclair Pickens-Smythe
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Sinclair's Story"His story
15 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I had missed this and just happened to read chapter three and liked it so I came back to start it anew. Well done, Yvonne. Very witty and entertaining. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
  |
I had missed this and just happened to read chapter three and liked it so I came back to start it anew. Well done, Yvonne. Very witty and entertaining. Nancy:)
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Yvonne,
I think you're off to a very good start. Hard to believe it's your first attempt at a long story, but you are a wonderful poet. So it's really not surprising. You've nailed the setting, a sprawling estate featuring flower gardens and seventeen bedrooms! And you've introduced three distinct characters... Sinclair at 5' 4" might be able to kiss his wife's chin if he was on his tip-toes. His wife, Arabella, is domineering, accustomed to fancy living and extravagance. Sinclair can't stand her, and yet, they've only been married 15 months. He has to lie to his butler, Buggles, to avoid her... and sneak upstairs from the tulip garden just to hide in the farthest bedroom in order to get a bit more sleep.
"Rest first, plan later." ... what is Sinclair planning? Arabella's death? How to murder your wife, and not get caught? Is there a foolproof way to do that? Freedom, once again!
I especially enjoyed the business with his name, "Pickens-Smythe (thatâ??s hyphenated, spelled with a y and an e on the end)". Also, the bit about his butler's name, "Butler". They refer to him as "Buggles".
I'm looking forward to chapter 2! You should start writing more stories!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
 |
Hi Yvonne,
I think you're off to a very good start. Hard to believe it's your first attempt at a long story, but you are a wonderful poet. So it's really not surprising. You've nailed the setting, a sprawling estate featuring flower gardens and seventeen bedrooms! And you've introduced three distinct characters... Sinclair at 5' 4" might be able to kiss his wife's chin if he was on his tip-toes. His wife, Arabella, is domineering, accustomed to fancy living and extravagance. Sinclair can't stand her, and yet, they've only been married 15 months. He has to lie to his butler, Buggles, to avoid her... and sneak upstairs from the tulip garden just to hide in the farthest bedroom in order to get a bit more sleep.
"Rest first, plan later." ... what is Sinclair planning? Arabella's death? How to murder your wife, and not get caught? Is there a foolproof way to do that? Freedom, once again!
I especially enjoyed the business with his name, "Pickens-Smythe (thatâ??s hyphenated, spelled with a y and an e on the end)". Also, the bit about his butler's name, "Butler". They refer to him as "Buggles".
I'm looking forward to chapter 2! You should start writing more stories!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much for the awesome review. I appreciate your support and encouragement. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from Teri7
Wish I had six stars to give you for this story. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. You used very good descriptive words and great imagery from the art work you chose. Can't wait until your next chapter. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
Wish I had six stars to give you for this story. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. You used very good descriptive words and great imagery from the art work you chose. Can't wait until your next chapter. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
Thank you!
Comment from robyn corum
Yvonne,
I like it!! Except that you switch POVs in the first part without notice, everything looked great. I liked these characters and like the set up so far. I'm intrigued and certainly look forward to more! Thank you!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
Yvonne,
I like it!! Except that you switch POVs in the first part without notice, everything looked great. I liked these characters and like the set up so far. I'm intrigued and certainly look forward to more! Thank you!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
Thank you.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is such a good start at your novel, Yvonne, your protagonist, Sinclair Pickens-Smythe (that's hyphenated, spelled with a y and an e on the end) Lol, has really grabbed me. I'll be waiting to see what happens if his father dies before he has devised a plan. He obviously does not love his wife and she's not at all keen on him. Well done, my dear SATP this was a very enjoyable read. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
That is such a good start at your novel, Yvonne, your protagonist, Sinclair Pickens-Smythe (that's hyphenated, spelled with a y and an e on the end) Lol, has really grabbed me. I'll be waiting to see what happens if his father dies before he has devised a plan. He obviously does not love his wife and she's not at all keen on him. Well done, my dear SATP this was a very enjoyable read. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
Thank you. Now, if I can just figure out where to go next. lol.
-
You will! 😊xx
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love Sinclair's description of Arabella's makeup and smile. Chuckle, chuckle. I'm hope you continue Sinclair's story now that he has found an empty bedroom to relax in and plan his next move. LOL
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
|
Love Sinclair's description of Arabella's makeup and smile. Chuckle, chuckle. I'm hope you continue Sinclair's story now that he has found an empty bedroom to relax in and plan his next move. LOL
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
-
I'll try. Thanks so much, Valda.
Comment from aryr
I loved the picture of the home that was shown in presenting a house or rather castle of many bedrooms, damommy. Good luck with an on-going story. I really enjoyed that you distinctly used the spelling of Sinclair's name. Arabella was definitely beside herself in trying to locate Sinclair. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
|
I loved the picture of the home that was shown in presenting a house or rather castle of many bedrooms, damommy. Good luck with an on-going story. I really enjoyed that you distinctly used the spelling of Sinclair's name. Arabella was definitely beside herself in trying to locate Sinclair. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
-
I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you!
-
You are so very welcome, Yvonne. Keep up the good work.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm so glad that you are writing prose again! I remember when I first started you shared some wonderful stories from your young adult years.
I feel sorry for poor Sinclair. I hope he has a great dream that gives him new directions for his life.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
|
I'm so glad that you are writing prose again! I remember when I first started you shared some wonderful stories from your young adult years.
I feel sorry for poor Sinclair. I hope he has a great dream that gives him new directions for his life.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
-
Thanks, Helen. We'll see what he gets up to next.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Yvonne, with this start of a continuing
book. You described your characters well. I could see Sinclair
and Arabella. She seemed to me to be Miss Hoity-Toity. Sinclair
was a funny man. He knew what was going on, but would act in
his own time. The name you used for the Butler was funny. I believe
he knows what's going on and is putting in airs himself. I can see
several tangents you gave yourself for adding chapters. Also, I
love the humor used.
Looking forward to more, Jan
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
|
You did a great job, Yvonne, with this start of a continuing
book. You described your characters well. I could see Sinclair
and Arabella. She seemed to me to be Miss Hoity-Toity. Sinclair
was a funny man. He knew what was going on, but would act in
his own time. The name you used for the Butler was funny. I believe
he knows what's going on and is putting in airs himself. I can see
several tangents you gave yourself for adding chapters. Also, I
love the humor used.
Looking forward to more, Jan
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
-
Thank you for this great review!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this and can't wait to read more.
Little did she know that Sinclair knew the cosmetics empire had gone bankrupt, and there would be nothing left for her to inherit there. & Nothing came to mind that he liked. (both sentences you can omit 'that')
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
|
I enjoyed reading this and can't wait to read more.
Little did she know that Sinclair knew the cosmetics empire had gone bankrupt, and there would be nothing left for her to inherit there. & Nothing came to mind that he liked. (both sentences you can omit 'that')
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
-
Thank you for reviewing and for the critique. I will attend to that right now.
