Springtime Walk
An ekphrastic acrostic sonnet31 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
As I am finding is so often the rule, I have learned something from your verse. I have really never heard of or used the term "mien" before. Now I know what it is, and I have it at my disposal.
Sounds like a peaceful walk through a meadow.
Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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As I am finding is so often the rule, I have learned something from your verse. I have really never heard of or used the term "mien" before. Now I know what it is, and I have it at my disposal.
Sounds like a peaceful walk through a meadow.
Good job.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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One of the great benefits one receives from joining this site is learning new words and new poetry forms. Many thanks, Gary, for sharing my poem today.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
idk. Everything was going so well and then wham... those last four lines seems as though they were written by another person. Also, the first portion has an explanation whereas part two doesn't. What caused her agony?
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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idk. Everything was going so well and then wham... those last four lines seems as though they were written by another person. Also, the first portion has an explanation whereas part two doesn't. What caused her agony?
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Tom, for your review and your comments. I (and several other reviewers) think her lover has left her and is on one of those sailing ships she saw from the crest of the hill.
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There you go. It would be helpful to make that known.
Comment from Bill Schott
This acrostic poem, SPRINGTIME WALK, follows the vertical, first-letter theme, with an ABAB rhyme scheme, and reveals the secrets of life in which a commune with nature can allay the world's problems and sooth the stressed mind. Nice.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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This acrostic poem, SPRINGTIME WALK, follows the vertical, first-letter theme, with an ABAB rhyme scheme, and reveals the secrets of life in which a commune with nature can allay the world's problems and sooth the stressed mind. Nice.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you very much, Bill, for sharing my sonnet. I really like your theme summary.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow. There is exceptional, and then there is exemplary -- a rhyming acrostic poem that is an also ekphrastic sonnet! You're kidding me. (And I say that because I have no sixes left to rate this brilliant jewel as it deserves.) I declare a winner (not that I have a vote. But I betcha. If not, I surrender all hope for the judges...LOL) BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!
OUTSTANDING!!!************************************!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Wow. There is exceptional, and then there is exemplary -- a rhyming acrostic poem that is an also ekphrastic sonnet! You're kidding me. (And I say that because I have no sixes left to rate this brilliant jewel as it deserves.) I declare a winner (not that I have a vote. But I betcha. If not, I surrender all hope for the judges...LOL) BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!
OUTSTANDING!!!************************************!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for your marvelous praise of my sonnet. I am truly honored.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is excellent in every way, an acrostic/sonnet/ekphrastic poem is amazingly well written. I followed along with the pleasant story of Elaine who changed her mien and I get that it rhymes but why did she change her mood or character? I looked up the word to be sure of its meaning yet I still don't understand why? Would you please clarify this for me?
Jesse
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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This is excellent in every way, an acrostic/sonnet/ekphrastic poem is amazingly well written. I followed along with the pleasant story of Elaine who changed her mien and I get that it rhymes but why did she change her mood or character? I looked up the word to be sure of its meaning yet I still don't understand why? Would you please clarify this for me?
Jesse
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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For some reason (we can only guess at) she had been moping before she took her walk. The walk through those lovely flowers and perhaps the view of the sailing ships changed her mien. Many thanks for sharing my poem and your kind praise.
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Thanks for the clarification.
Now I understand better.
Jesse
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
This is a will written and lovely piece with valid and timeless message. It has a nicely counterpointed presentation. The illustration is wonderful accompaniment .
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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This is a will written and lovely piece with valid and timeless message. It has a nicely counterpointed presentation. The illustration is wonderful accompaniment .
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Nancy, thank you so much for your praise of my sonnet. That picture is indeed amazing.
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:-)
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
I enjoyed the word images of the poem very much and love the message that a walk in nature can ease worldly cares. My favorite lines are: "Red blossoms mixed with pink prevail" and "she ambles through Grass tall enough to brush her hips."
I'm not sure the final line is up to the rest of the poem. The word "it" grammatically stands for "life" yet the poem was about a walk in nature that awed the walker. Also, ending the poem with an adverb (surprisingly) seems not quite right. I wish the final line were better.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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I enjoyed the word images of the poem very much and love the message that a walk in nature can ease worldly cares. My favorite lines are: "Red blossoms mixed with pink prevail" and "she ambles through Grass tall enough to brush her hips."
I'm not sure the final line is up to the rest of the poem. The word "it" grammatically stands for "life" yet the poem was about a walk in nature that awed the walker. Also, ending the poem with an adverb (surprisingly) seems not quite right. I wish the final line were better.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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K. Lang, thank you for sharing my poem and pointing out which lines you enjoyed the most. I also appreciate your candor about the last line. I did intend IT to refer to everything in "life" that can awe us surprisingly. Sorry you don?t think my adverb is appropriate, but it says exactly what I wish to convey.
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My only objection to the usage is that often adverbs are the weakest type of word. If you love it.... that's what's important.
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Editors and writers of How-to books about writing are always bad-mouthing adverbs and urge writers to avoid them. Adverbs are not the weakest word if used with discretion. The weakest word is any form of the TO BE verb.
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yes, I agree with that!
Comment from Ulla
Oh I liked it and I liked it a lot. An acrostic sonnet is new to me, but then again I don't know much about poetry. The Japanese forms yes, but there it stops. What a wonderful poem you've written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Oh I liked it and I liked it a lot. An acrostic sonnet is new to me, but then again I don't know much about poetry. The Japanese forms yes, but there it stops. What a wonderful poem you've written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Ulla, for your enthusiastic response to my sonnet. This is the second acrostic sonnet I have posted, but I don't think they are too common on this site.
Comment from Frank Malley
Springtime Walk" is a very skillful acrostic poem and uses elevated, elegant poetic words to capture the beauty of a walk in spring in a beautiful place. 'Perusing' seems too bookish a word for the experience of viewing beauty, emphasizing as it does a mental intrusion upon an emotional encounter. Line 7 doesn't need the "Then"; if excluded, the line can be more metrically sinuous. I also think "mope" may not be the best word choice, as it trivializes Eleanor's experience as though she had been foolishly sullen.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Springtime Walk" is a very skillful acrostic poem and uses elevated, elegant poetic words to capture the beauty of a walk in spring in a beautiful place. 'Perusing' seems too bookish a word for the experience of viewing beauty, emphasizing as it does a mental intrusion upon an emotional encounter. Line 7 doesn't need the "Then"; if excluded, the line can be more metrically sinuous. I also think "mope" may not be the best word choice, as it trivializes Eleanor's experience as though she had been foolishly sullen.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Hi, Frank, I truly appreciate your taking the time to share my sonnet and carefully explain what words you think can/should be replaced. One of the challenges of an acrostic is that you must begin a line with a letter of the word you chose. I probably would have chosen other words than "Perusing" and "Then" if this were any other type of poem. And I chose "mope" because it rhymes with "slope."
Comment from Frances Jean
What a gorgeous picture accompanying your poem, an ekphrastic acrostic sonnet. I've never heard of that before! Beautifully written with great end rhyming, vivid imagery and nice alliteration. I felt like climbing in the picture with her! Thanks for sharing. Franky
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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What a gorgeous picture accompanying your poem, an ekphrastic acrostic sonnet. I've never heard of that before! Beautifully written with great end rhyming, vivid imagery and nice alliteration. I felt like climbing in the picture with her! Thanks for sharing. Franky
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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I, too, love this picture and found it very inspirational as I wrote my poem. I may have invented the "ekphrastic acrostic sonnet." This is the second one I've posted on this site and I've never seen another. Many thanks for your marvelous praise, Franky.
