After The End
a new beginning?28 total reviews
Comment from sandra roth
you used many colorful, show don't tell, words. the piece flowed and I read all the way to the end. Even though I didn't fully figure out the plot. I assumed it was the end of the world, but I was still able to read to the end because it was so well written, every word counted, and I wanted to know more. I didn't become lost until the last paragraph. Also, it was not a complicated piece but easy to follow.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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you used many colorful, show don't tell, words. the piece flowed and I read all the way to the end. Even though I didn't fully figure out the plot. I assumed it was the end of the world, but I was still able to read to the end because it was so well written, every word counted, and I wanted to know more. I didn't become lost until the last paragraph. Also, it was not a complicated piece but easy to follow.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Showing helps to envelop the piece around the reader and lets them in more. Many thanks. G
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a thought-provoking story about the end times. I enjoyed the read. I thought until the end the young man was Satan, but when he said we spread the word, it changed my mind. Great job. Enjoy your day. Shirley
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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What a thought-provoking story about the end times. I enjoyed the read. I thought until the end the young man was Satan, but when he said we spread the word, it changed my mind. Great job. Enjoy your day. Shirley
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks as always, Shirley. G
Comment from Mrs. KT
Masterful, G, in both characterization and content.
Of course, the setting of your tale makes your story even more powerful for this reader.
I found this passage chilling:
"Yes... and no." Father Black made his way past the young man and took a seat on the first row of pews. "And what about you? What brings you here?"
The smile lit his face up again. "Same thing, really, but I think the answers will no longer be coming. Don't you, Father Black?"
Made me pause and reflect...
One small nit:
He's taken his toys and went (gone) home.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Masterful, G, in both characterization and content.
Of course, the setting of your tale makes your story even more powerful for this reader.
I found this passage chilling:
"Yes... and no." Father Black made his way past the young man and took a seat on the first row of pews. "And what about you? What brings you here?"
The smile lit his face up again. "Same thing, really, but I think the answers will no longer be coming. Don't you, Father Black?"
Made me pause and reflect...
One small nit:
He's taken his toys and went (gone) home.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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I prefer the went rather than gone. grammatically it's a bit rocky but it's dialogue and that's how I speak! lol Many thanks. G
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice writing.
I don't know who the young man was, but nice set up to "Get away from me, i never knew you."
Many will be saved and come to know the Lord after the rapture. But it can't possibly be as much fun as meeting Him in the sky.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Nice writing.
I don't know who the young man was, but nice set up to "Get away from me, i never knew you."
Many will be saved and come to know the Lord after the rapture. But it can't possibly be as much fun as meeting Him in the sky.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Who knows? There was a writer on here a few years ago *sadly passed away) who experienced a near death experience and it really coloured things for him. Many thanks, Wayne. G
Comment from dmt1967
I love this story. I always wondered if COVID was our Armageddon. It certainly brought us to the brink. This is a well written story. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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I love this story. I always wondered if COVID was our Armageddon. It certainly brought us to the brink. This is a well written story. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks as always, especially for the super rating. G
Comment from Heather Knight
Hi Gareth,
I love the way you write, but this is one of my favourite stories so far. It's well-crafted, but that doesn't surprise me. What makes it so poignant is the fact that I guess this is in all our minds at the moment in different degrees even if we are trying to keep on leading normal lives.
I think I'll never forget this setting. I won't forget the characters either.
Just one thing:
Did you write this on purpose: He's taken his toys and went (gone) home? I guess you have, but I don't know why I can never keep my mouth shut.
Have a nice day,
MJ
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Hi Gareth,
I love the way you write, but this is one of my favourite stories so far. It's well-crafted, but that doesn't surprise me. What makes it so poignant is the fact that I guess this is in all our minds at the moment in different degrees even if we are trying to keep on leading normal lives.
I think I'll never forget this setting. I won't forget the characters either.
Just one thing:
Did you write this on purpose: He's taken his toys and went (gone) home? I guess you have, but I don't know why I can never keep my mouth shut.
Have a nice day,
MJ
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Yep, the went is on purpose. In dialogue, I like to not always use fully correct grammar as it can lend a bit of colour. lol
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Good for you. Dialogue is a great way to differentiate characters. I used to think it was super funny when my kids said bring and brung instead of brought. Being able to use that kind of thing in our stories makes them better.
Comment from Gloria ....
Well done here, G. This could in fact allude to the dawn of the planet of man; the pre-Devonian birth/beginning of our Earth we have just lived. Or it could be a dystopian reality of this one and only, just ended. Satan in conversation with a priest to spread the word of God when God has clearly left the building is a riddle to consider very carefully when moving forward because that sure would deceive a lot of people.
I enjoyed your use of sardonic humour, and the oblique story line that allows your reader to fill in the outlines as far as their imaginations go.
Much enjoyed. Gloria
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Well done here, G. This could in fact allude to the dawn of the planet of man; the pre-Devonian birth/beginning of our Earth we have just lived. Or it could be a dystopian reality of this one and only, just ended. Satan in conversation with a priest to spread the word of God when God has clearly left the building is a riddle to consider very carefully when moving forward because that sure would deceive a lot of people.
I enjoyed your use of sardonic humour, and the oblique story line that allows your reader to fill in the outlines as far as their imaginations go.
Much enjoyed. Gloria
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks for the great and thoughtful response ot this piece, Gloria. Many thanks. G
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another deep, thought-provoking piece of writing, G. It seems to denote the end of the world, or the end of Christianity, with only these two, well-developed characters left to try to revive it. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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This is another deep, thought-provoking piece of writing, G. It seems to denote the end of the world, or the end of Christianity, with only these two, well-developed characters left to try to revive it. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks, Judy. G
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You?re most welcome, G.
Comment from royowen
Of course, most would figure out who the young man was, as if we didn't know, but on the other hand, they have been known to walk among, but there were indications of who he was. Beautifully written G, a most imaginative post, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Of course, most would figure out who the young man was, as if we didn't know, but on the other hand, they have been known to walk among, but there were indications of who he was. Beautifully written G, a most imaginative post, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks, Roy. G
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Welcome
Comment from estory
This is an eerie sketch of the end times, fittingly taking place in this nearly abandoned church, with these vague, mysterious figures debating how it all went down and what happens next. I liked all the abstractness, the fact that there are no real conclusions; life is really mostly like that. This is what we are left with, a flask of whiskey in a cold, drafty church, with no answers. estory
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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This is an eerie sketch of the end times, fittingly taking place in this nearly abandoned church, with these vague, mysterious figures debating how it all went down and what happens next. I liked all the abstractness, the fact that there are no real conclusions; life is really mostly like that. This is what we are left with, a flask of whiskey in a cold, drafty church, with no answers. estory
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks as always, my friend. hope you are well. G
