The July 4th Affair.
Fireworks for the weekend47 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Is (Witcha Falls) a real place? Or should it be (Wichita Falls)?
STACI'S STORY
Last paragraph: This, and the last paragraph in Larry's story, are the only two paragraphs you add a closing quote mark (") all others begin with a quote mark but are left open ended.
LARRY'S STORY
Para 1, 2nd sentence: Add comma after (Oh)
I notice every paragraph begins with a quote mark (") even if nobody is speaking or nothing is being quoted. Is this a domestic tradition or writing protocol for your part of the world? Because those same paragraphs have no closing quote marks (") either. I could find no literary precedent to support this practice.
I would suggest removing all quote marks since nobody is really speaking thorough the entire story. That way, all doubt will be removed.
Isn't that just how it is? Boy meets girl, girl falls in love, they get married, then two totally different stories emerge. Either Larry was successful, or he was a failure. To read the story who knows.
Interesting, and maybe a little too close for comfort, read.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Is (Witcha Falls) a real place? Or should it be (Wichita Falls)?
STACI'S STORY
Last paragraph: This, and the last paragraph in Larry's story, are the only two paragraphs you add a closing quote mark (") all others begin with a quote mark but are left open ended.
LARRY'S STORY
Para 1, 2nd sentence: Add comma after (Oh)
I notice every paragraph begins with a quote mark (") even if nobody is speaking or nothing is being quoted. Is this a domestic tradition or writing protocol for your part of the world? Because those same paragraphs have no closing quote marks (") either. I could find no literary precedent to support this practice.
I would suggest removing all quote marks since nobody is really speaking thorough the entire story. That way, all doubt will be removed.
Isn't that just how it is? Boy meets girl, girl falls in love, they get married, then two totally different stories emerge. Either Larry was successful, or he was a failure. To read the story who knows.
Interesting, and maybe a little too close for comfort, read.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Gary, thank you for the read and the review. Thanks for catching Wichita Falls, it is a real place.
The quotes marks are interesting. I have always been told to leave open the ending paragraph unless the speaker changes. And only close them when the speaker stops. My intent here was that the two characters were having a conversation out loud with themselves, hence the quotes. Originally, I had no quotes, Maybe I will change it back, thank you, Terry.
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Oh, it reads like a narrative, rather than a discussion. I looked for that "leave it open" ruling because I have run into it twice before, but I simply cannot find anything to support it. That's why I asked is this a ruling from your part of the world, not really knowing where that is exactly. Because I run into UK and Australian differences all the time that I have to adjust for. Still trying to learn them.
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I took them out, I think I was being cute, and don't need the grief, lol. Thanks, Terry
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Some things just remain a question, spellings, quotes, punctuations. Eventually it will all get sorted.
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Oh, great. I spend a lot of time reviewing anything I review. I seriously do put a lot of effort into it, sometimes additional research even. In most cases, and I really do mean most, writers acknowledge my suggestions, but nothing ever changes. Even if they are "in your face" spelling or punctuation errors. I don't get it. I thought that was where the value of having your work reviewed was. If a review is not going to be applied, why should reviewers bother?
Thanks for taking this one to heart and making changes.
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Gary, are you kidding, I make every change you suggest!. I have a little notepad I write them on and then go back and check, and you make it easy with your detailed instruction. Many Thanks. Terry
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Thanks Terry. At least some of my efforts are appreciated.
Comment from Annmuma
Well, well, well -- the story of so many people -- the one who got away and we wonder where to!!! At the same, we are just a little pleased they exited our life because we instinctively knew they should. I think that thought comes through loud and clear in the story -- or maybe it is just so well-written the reader is allowed to interpret it in the best way for them without causing injury to the story.
Always fun to take out an old memory to see what, if anything, is there -- maybe just a lesson in human nature.
I love it! Great 4th of July write. HAPPY FOURTH. ann
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Well, well, well -- the story of so many people -- the one who got away and we wonder where to!!! At the same, we are just a little pleased they exited our life because we instinctively knew they should. I think that thought comes through loud and clear in the story -- or maybe it is just so well-written the reader is allowed to interpret it in the best way for them without causing injury to the story.
Always fun to take out an old memory to see what, if anything, is there -- maybe just a lesson in human nature.
I love it! Great 4th of July write. HAPPY FOURTH. ann
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for the Six Stars!!! That is also a great review! Thank you! Terry.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
It is amazing how many people are not yet together think about one another. Or will never forget them. There is no telling how many people think about others and are married to someone else. Thank you for sharing. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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It is amazing how many people are not yet together think about one another. Or will never forget them. There is no telling how many people think about others and are married to someone else. Thank you for sharing. Have a great day.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Carolyn, Thank you for reading! Terry.
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You are welcome.
Comment from karenina
Ah, Staci...
I've known a few like her. Upwardly mobile but shortsighted.
Ah, Larry...
A diamond in the rough, but Staci wanted the fancy cut, boxed and ready.
Sounds like Larry did just fine...and Staci is his rearview mirror...
He still glances back now and then. But no U-Turn is expected!
I enjoyed the differing perspectives...
Well done sketching believable characters...
I'll bet Larry has a better 4th!
Karenina
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Ah, Staci...
I've known a few like her. Upwardly mobile but shortsighted.
Ah, Larry...
A diamond in the rough, but Staci wanted the fancy cut, boxed and ready.
Sounds like Larry did just fine...and Staci is his rearview mirror...
He still glances back now and then. But no U-Turn is expected!
I enjoyed the differing perspectives...
Well done sketching believable characters...
I'll bet Larry has a better 4th!
Karenina
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Karenina, Yes, Larry will, I think you got the story exactly right! Thank you for reading. Terry.
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Smile... Another great story!
Comment from Wendy G
An interesting and well developed story using two different points of view about the same affair. One wanted wealth and prestige, and so chose some-one else, maybe just a tad shallow! The other wanted the physical, the body. Both lost out. But they wonder .... interesting commentary on relationships, values, and the ever-present what-ifs.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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An interesting and well developed story using two different points of view about the same affair. One wanted wealth and prestige, and so chose some-one else, maybe just a tad shallow! The other wanted the physical, the body. Both lost out. But they wonder .... interesting commentary on relationships, values, and the ever-present what-ifs.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Wendy, you got Stacie exactly right! thank you for reading, Terry.
Comment from nomi338
Oh the vagaries of one night stands. We meet the one who could be THE ONE. We let them slip away, and are doomed to wonder over and over again, what if? We may never find out, as we age, the possibility fades increasingly into the impossible, until there is no longer a chance. Regret is one hell of a feeling to have to deal with.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Oh the vagaries of one night stands. We meet the one who could be THE ONE. We let them slip away, and are doomed to wonder over and over again, what if? We may never find out, as we age, the possibility fades increasingly into the impossible, until there is no longer a chance. Regret is one hell of a feeling to have to deal with.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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You are right about my friend, Thank you for reading! Terry.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
This is what I call a full circle, each of then gravitating for a second into the what if possibility, but in the end each of them getting their own choice. I laugh reading this: ""My aunt's husband said, 'Larry's idea of planning was to put both hands in his pockets only to declare damn, I am out of money!' He was right. That did happen more than once, and it did end the evening." Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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This is what I call a full circle, each of then gravitating for a second into the what if possibility, but in the end each of them getting their own choice. I laugh reading this: ""My aunt's husband said, 'Larry's idea of planning was to put both hands in his pockets only to declare damn, I am out of money!' He was right. That did happen more than once, and it did end the evening." Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Iza, that is my favorite line as well! Thank you for the six stars!!! Terry.
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you tell a story by showing us these two lives. Staci thought she planned everything perfectly but in her pragmatism, she misjudged Larry in his undecided youth. However, had Staci and Larry gotten together, it may not have worked as it sounds like Staci has so much drive and push for financial accomplishment, it might have driven Larry away. At least, Larry is happily married and successful now.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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I like how you tell a story by showing us these two lives. Staci thought she planned everything perfectly but in her pragmatism, she misjudged Larry in his undecided youth. However, had Staci and Larry gotten together, it may not have worked as it sounds like Staci has so much drive and push for financial accomplishment, it might have driven Larry away. At least, Larry is happily married and successful now.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Helen, I think your analysis is correct. Thank you for reading! Terry.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, it seems the fireworks fizzled for both of them after
the three-day affair. You did a great job-sharing Larry and
Staci's' story, Terry. I would say Staci wanted to use other
people's money to make her rich, and she did. Larry seemed
like and easy-going fella with a particular goal in mind that
Staci would've never liked anyway. She was a go-getter and
Larry was a fixer upper.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2022
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Well, it seems the fireworks fizzled for both of them after
the three-day affair. You did a great job-sharing Larry and
Staci's' story, Terry. I would say Staci wanted to use other
people's money to make her rich, and she did. Larry seemed
like and easy-going fella with a particular goal in mind that
Staci would've never liked anyway. She was a go-getter and
Larry was a fixer upper.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2022
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Jan, thank you for the read and the review! Terry
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Who is who and are any of these you? I feel asifI came off stilt-a-whirl but that's parcorlifeintoday's societal cabal. Too few finding a relation that last over ten years. Lucki is those who do... or if.
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Who is who and are any of these you? I feel asifI came off stilt-a-whirl but that's parcorlifeintoday's societal cabal. Too few finding a relation that last over ten years. Lucki is those who do... or if.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
