Reviews from

Be All You Can Be

Always appreciate your talents

14 total reviews 
Comment from LisaMay
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is great! The contrast between abilities and dreams is well shown here - very unrealistic of Ralph and Jenny to pursue things they clearly weren't suited to, and parents who say 'you can be whatever you want to be' should be prepared for their kids to fail. The world is full of deluded people who fall short. Stephen kept his options open, found his skill, and worked hard for success. A modern fable well told.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
    Thanks so much, Lisa :-). Your awesome sixer cancels out the 3 star review, lol. I get fed up seeing all the inspirational messages about anyone being able to do anything. It's simply not true. Hence the hoards of YouTube channels with 3 followers and depressed wannabe 'influencers' at the helm.
reply by LisaMay on 29-Jun-2022
    Someone gave you a three??? Perhaps it was a finger slip.
    I agree with you about unrealistic expectations. Our universities are stuffed full of kids who would be happier doing a trade, and we have far too few tradesmen doing the jobs we need done. Not everyone is academic.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
    It looks as though they just joined so I'll let them off, lol. I did the same when I was new and saw 3 as the baseline score. Got corrected pretty fast!
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmm, okay.

Ten years later, Stephen looked for his {friends} at their high school reunion, excited to tell them about his new screenplay

- I would change this to: old friends.
It's been ten years.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
    Thanks, lancellot :-). Good point - I've taken your suggestion. I still had a few words left in the word count.
Comment from Christine Geyer
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading your short story. It seemed a bit disjointed and I had trouble feeling the characters but I suppose that is because it was just supposed to be a light and silly story with a moral so you accomplished that purpose. Nice job

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 Comment Written 28-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
    Thank you, Christine. I'm 2 words within the word limit for the contest, so I did what I could :-).

    I see you're a recent joiner, so welcome to Fanstory. You might need to give more justification and suggestions if you award three stars a lot - just a heads up.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I just love that saying, a small dream is better than a delusion, it proves to me, if you you have a dream that very few fulfil, better to keep it to yourself than make a fool of yourself, beautifully written my friend, well done, good luck, blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 28-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
    Thanks so much, Roy :-). I just about decided what to write about in time for this contest!
reply by royowen on 28-Jun-2022
    Good job