Absence of Bravery
Tyburn poem about a mouse.6 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Yep, it doesn't just take a woman to be skeered of them pesky mice. Your last sentence, "hear my fear" rather than "see my fear" is great. Even in silence you could hear this guy's fear.
Funny one.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
Yep, it doesn't just take a woman to be skeered of them pesky mice. Your last sentence, "hear my fear" rather than "see my fear" is great. Even in silence you could hear this guy's fear.
Funny one.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
-
I'm pleased you enjoyed this poem. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, this is a fun post, I love the alliteration and sentiments and I am never afraid of a mouse in the park, but if it was to stare back at me in my house, I would be terrified, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
Ha ha ha, this is a fun post, I love the alliteration and sentiments and I am never afraid of a mouse in the park, but if it was to stare back at me in my house, I would be terrified, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
-
It's intriguing how little critters can strike terror into otherwise brave hearts.
-
So true x x x
Comment from Wendy G
This Tyburn poem has both meaning and humour, and the rhymes are not forced. Hence it is an excellent entry for the contest, and I send my best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
This Tyburn poem has both meaning and humour, and the rhymes are not forced. Hence it is an excellent entry for the contest, and I send my best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
Thank you!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This reminds me of my 52 year old son. Not too many years ago, he was outside running from a mouse. You did a great job with this. Thank you for sharing. Did make me laugh. Have a great night.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
This reminds me of my 52 year old son. Not too many years ago, he was outside running from a mouse. You did a great job with this. Thank you for sharing. Did make me laugh. Have a great night.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
Not all men are brave! I'm glad I gave you a funny memory.
-
Yes, thank you. I wish I had been outside to have seen him. My daughter told me about him running.
-
hahaha.
Comment from Jack Trevino
LOL - this was a joy to read, and the image chosen cracked me up. Wonderful job! I might have switched Sneaking and Squeaking so that the squeaking came first since it's a bit of a stronger first word (just in my opinion), and I'm trying to think of another word for freaking to give it more oomph as an adjective for fear (I do like it here, but "freaking, shrieking fear" distracts me a tiny bit by being hard for me to say, haha, and then I get further distracted by thinking about whether it was meant as freakin' (like a SFW version of the f word) or freaking like freaking out). Now you'll hear my shrieking, peaking fear? Hmm... Well, anyway, I love what you've done with this form - thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
LOL - this was a joy to read, and the image chosen cracked me up. Wonderful job! I might have switched Sneaking and Squeaking so that the squeaking came first since it's a bit of a stronger first word (just in my opinion), and I'm trying to think of another word for freaking to give it more oomph as an adjective for fear (I do like it here, but "freaking, shrieking fear" distracts me a tiny bit by being hard for me to say, haha, and then I get further distracted by thinking about whether it was meant as freakin' (like a SFW version of the f word) or freaking like freaking out). Now you'll hear my shrieking, peaking fear? Hmm... Well, anyway, I love what you've done with this form - thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
It would be more usual to expect a picture of a woman being scared of a mouse, but I reckon some guys are too.
I take your point about switching sneaking and squeaking - it does fit the action better.
I used freaking in both senses of the word, as in panic as well as swearing.
Comment from jessizero
I would have the same reaction to a mouse! You did a great job with this tyburn poem format. Thank you for sharing this poem here, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
I would have the same reaction to a mouse! You did a great job with this tyburn poem format. Thank you for sharing this poem here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
I'm actually not scared of mice, so I was playing to the common fear of others.
-
Well, you did a great job!
-
I thought it would be fun to have the picture showing a guy being scared instead of the usual expectation of a woman.