I Do Accept
MY shorter sonnet version52 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Jaybird,
I'm sorry I don't have six stars for this poignant message to the woman you love.
It's sad, yet uplifting. I believe true love never dies; it is transferred to Heaven, and we will see our loved ones again and be with them forever.
Blessings,
Best wishes,
keep writing your touching poems, Jaybird.
You're in my prayers tonight.
Cindy
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Jaybird,
I'm sorry I don't have six stars for this poignant message to the woman you love.
It's sad, yet uplifting. I believe true love never dies; it is transferred to Heaven, and we will see our loved ones again and be with them forever.
Blessings,
Best wishes,
keep writing your touching poems, Jaybird.
You're in my prayers tonight.
Cindy
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
Comment from C2
Jaybird1,
Another exceptionally crafted poem and sweet tribute to your departed wife. These latestest poems have a raw simplicity that remind me, in a way, of some of the best examples of old blues songs or the agony of a Hank Williams song.
My favorite line:
"You were the sugar in my tea.
It was true then, will always be."
Nice work!
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Jaybird1,
Another exceptionally crafted poem and sweet tribute to your departed wife. These latestest poems have a raw simplicity that remind me, in a way, of some of the best examples of old blues songs or the agony of a Hank Williams song.
My favorite line:
"You were the sugar in my tea.
It was true then, will always be."
Nice work!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
Comment from zanya
It's a beautiful tribute to a dear, departed spouse, filled with love and gratitude for a life lived in togetherness and harmony - an inspirational read
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It's a beautiful tribute to a dear, departed spouse, filled with love and gratitude for a life lived in togetherness and harmony - an inspirational read
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
Comment from Write Right Writer
Thanks for sharing this emotive and poignant tribute to your long departed bride. Your theme is strong and your content focused. Threads of love and loss, longing and hope, and weariness and perseverance are woven together into a bittersweet tapestry. The growing tension of remembering past love, battling current despair, and fostering future hope creates an authentic and realistic balance that touches the heart and stirs the soul.
Technically, your rhythm and meter are consistent and, with few exceptions, your rhyme is natural and unforced. My only critique for improvement would be related to the flow of your content. The jump from the first stanza to the second one felt abrupt. In the same way that the phrase, "thoughts always return to you" in the second stanza is a precursor to the third stanza, a hint as to why you must persevere through the drudgery of the first stanza might provide a better 'sense' where you are heading. At the risk of being too prescriptive, perhaps something as simple as replacing the word, "tired" or "weary" with "lonely" or "empty" would suffice.
Your closing couplet is strong and effective; my favorite part of your poem. The shift of voice from first person to second person added to the power of your words. Well done. Keep up the good work.
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Thanks for sharing this emotive and poignant tribute to your long departed bride. Your theme is strong and your content focused. Threads of love and loss, longing and hope, and weariness and perseverance are woven together into a bittersweet tapestry. The growing tension of remembering past love, battling current despair, and fostering future hope creates an authentic and realistic balance that touches the heart and stirs the soul.
Technically, your rhythm and meter are consistent and, with few exceptions, your rhyme is natural and unforced. My only critique for improvement would be related to the flow of your content. The jump from the first stanza to the second one felt abrupt. In the same way that the phrase, "thoughts always return to you" in the second stanza is a precursor to the third stanza, a hint as to why you must persevere through the drudgery of the first stanza might provide a better 'sense' where you are heading. At the risk of being too prescriptive, perhaps something as simple as replacing the word, "tired" or "weary" with "lonely" or "empty" would suffice.
Your closing couplet is strong and effective; my favorite part of your poem. The shift of voice from first person to second person added to the power of your words. Well done. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
Comment from harmony13
It is beautiful how this author since I have been reading his work writes about his deceased bride. I feels it give one hope that we will one day see our loved ones in the next life. I am glad the author continues to write and share some of his wisdom. The poem flows and connects well.
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It is beautiful how this author since I have been reading his work writes about his deceased bride. I feels it give one hope that we will one day see our loved ones in the next life. I am glad the author continues to write and share some of his wisdom. The poem flows and connects well.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You wrote a very good poem for your wife, jaybird.
-It is important to begin each day as a new start
even thought it is hard sometimes.
-I like the image about "sugar in my tea."
-A very good closing couplet.
-Thanks for sharing it, and have
a great Fourth of July!!!!
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-You wrote a very good poem for your wife, jaybird.
-It is important to begin each day as a new start
even thought it is hard sometimes.
-I like the image about "sugar in my tea."
-A very good closing couplet.
-Thanks for sharing it, and have
a great Fourth of July!!!!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
Comment from Tina Crute
This is beautiful:) It amazes me how someone can write about true love so succinctly and eloquently that everyone who reads it will totally get your emotion and relationship. This is personal, but not too much so, with just the right touch of romance and a healthy dose of commitment and loyalty. Just one suggestion...Line 1 has only 7 syllables and all the rest have eight, I think. I love how you use the word bride in your notes! I wish it was in the poem. That says a lot!
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This is beautiful:) It amazes me how someone can write about true love so succinctly and eloquently that everyone who reads it will totally get your emotion and relationship. This is personal, but not too much so, with just the right touch of romance and a healthy dose of commitment and loyalty. Just one suggestion...Line 1 has only 7 syllables and all the rest have eight, I think. I love how you use the word bride in your notes! I wish it was in the poem. That says a lot!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
Comment from Kevin McNeany
'You still remain within my heart-
Keep me in yours, till I depart.'
I found this deeply moving Jay and I can absolutely resonate with this wonderful write. It is truly outstanding, moving and the sugar in my tea-it just made the whole poem so touching. When one has found a special and unique woman, one will rarely want for another even if it means waiting forever. Well done again warmest regards Kevin. May I also add, I am sorry for your loss. You pay a tribute to a clearly very special lady.
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'You still remain within my heart-
Keep me in yours, till I depart.'
I found this deeply moving Jay and I can absolutely resonate with this wonderful write. It is truly outstanding, moving and the sugar in my tea-it just made the whole poem so touching. When one has found a special and unique woman, one will rarely want for another even if it means waiting forever. Well done again warmest regards Kevin. May I also add, I am sorry for your loss. You pay a tribute to a clearly very special lady.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
Comment from Boogienights
This is a beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain of losing those you love never truly heals. I'm sure they will be waiting for you when your time comes. Thanks for sharing
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This is a beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain of losing those you love never truly heals. I'm sure they will be waiting for you when your time comes. Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
Comment from nomi338
As sad and hurtful as the separation can be. It will be that much sweeter when you are returned to me. It hurts to be apart from the one we adore, but once together again, the love and appreciation will be all the sweeter. I can appreciate the sentiment, it makes me all the more thankful that I still have my loved on here with me. Another wonderful write from one who has proving to be prolific.
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As sad and hurtful as the separation can be. It will be that much sweeter when you are returned to me. It hurts to be apart from the one we adore, but once together again, the love and appreciation will be all the sweeter. I can appreciate the sentiment, it makes me all the more thankful that I still have my loved on here with me. Another wonderful write from one who has proving to be prolific.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
