Chasing Gnomes
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Chasing Gnomes Ch.6 - Support"Dragon Dance Chronicles Book 1
10 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. Good work.
Though I really can't see Roz tolerating her breasts fondled for that long.
When ending a sentence with an ellipsis, you need then ending period, just as you did the ellipsis and question mark.
The story is moving along.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Well written. Good work.
Though I really can't see Roz tolerating her breasts fondled for that long.
When ending a sentence with an ellipsis, you need then ending period, just as you did the ellipsis and question mark.
The story is moving along.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thanks Wayne. Oh, I think Roz will make sure Lindon gets his comeuppance :-)
Thanks for the review and pointers!
Mike
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an amusing chapter and a lot of fun to read. Rozlyn certainly knows how to pick a gang, for laughs. Terrence is especially jolly good fun. Looking forward to next chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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This is an amusing chapter and a lot of fun to read. Rozlyn certainly knows how to pick a gang, for laughs. Terrence is especially jolly good fun. Looking forward to next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Carol :-). Next chapter coming very shortly!
Mike
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was funny, Mike, it gave me a good laugh. The new bra design had me in a coughing fit, and the hedgehog commode seat! You certainly come up with some fabulous imagery. I adore your story, Mike, Terrence and Roz being my favourites, and the rest a very close second. I am really looking forward to the next part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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That was funny, Mike, it gave me a good laugh. The new bra design had me in a coughing fit, and the hedgehog commode seat! You certainly come up with some fabulous imagery. I adore your story, Mike, Terrence and Roz being my favourites, and the rest a very close second. I am really looking forward to the next part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Sandra. I'm thrilled you're still enjoying this crazy tale and especially that I managed to make you laugh :-)
Mike
Comment from lyenochka
Well, it's good that Roz has a sense of humor. I wonder how Terrence would "play the wheel." Is he carrying the wagon? Won't they try to retrieve the fallen wheel? I wonder why Lindon bothers to try to give Merchant Harry an ethics question as it's clear his mind is that of Star Trek Ferengi.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Well, it's good that Roz has a sense of humor. I wonder how Terrence would "play the wheel." Is he carrying the wagon? Won't they try to retrieve the fallen wheel? I wonder why Lindon bothers to try to give Merchant Harry an ethics question as it's clear his mind is that of Star Trek Ferengi.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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I like the thought of the merchant Dwarves being like Ferengi :-). In my mind, Terence would hold up the corner without a wheel while the wagon is move to the tavern, but I thought it might slow things down (I may squeeze in a reference to it later). Lindon definitely thinks with something other than his head at times. Of course, he may yet be punished!
Thanks for the great review.
Mike
Comment from Cindy Warren
Poor Terrance. All that muscle and no brains. Not a single idea what he should do. Good thing he has Roz to tell him. But do any of them have much sense? Seems to me staying at an inn when you have very scary people chasing you isn't a good idea. They'll be leaving early, no doubt.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Poor Terrance. All that muscle and no brains. Not a single idea what he should do. Good thing he has Roz to tell him. But do any of them have much sense? Seems to me staying at an inn when you have very scary people chasing you isn't a good idea. They'll be leaving early, no doubt.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Cindy :-). I sometimes envy Terence's life outlook - to not have to make decisions seems appealing on occasion! Let's hope they don't sleep in.
Mike
Comment from Scott Rhodie
Not my type of story, but has its place. A few grammar issues, Para 1 - line 2 = 2 x if Para 2 - line 2 ,and Para 4 = chasing with a small c Para 5 - line 1 = bench I was lying on, and line 4 - barbarian, Para 13 - line 2 = You see, and line 3 = Or perhaps (no comma) Para 14 - line 1 = along, Para 17 He means, Para 19 = Ken, Para 20 = line 1 = air, Para 23 = ,and Para 29 = reply, and - the scenery Para 33 = last line = a messy heap. Para 34 = I asked, Para 35 = to = on Para 44 = up. Para 47 = line 2 = but was wise Para 50 = ,and Para 61 = though = through . For its audience it will be a good read. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Not my type of story, but has its place. A few grammar issues, Para 1 - line 2 = 2 x if Para 2 - line 2 ,and Para 4 = chasing with a small c Para 5 - line 1 = bench I was lying on, and line 4 - barbarian, Para 13 - line 2 = You see, and line 3 = Or perhaps (no comma) Para 14 - line 1 = along, Para 17 He means, Para 19 = Ken, Para 20 = line 1 = air, Para 23 = ,and Para 29 = reply, and - the scenery Para 33 = last line = a messy heap. Para 34 = I asked, Para 35 = to = on Para 44 = up. Para 47 = line 2 = but was wise Para 50 = ,and Para 61 = though = through . For its audience it will be a good read. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Thanks Scott. I'll be doing an editing pass later and will keep these in mind. Appreciate the assist :-)
Mike
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No problem.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Ha! This is a great chapter, Mike. I have to say my favorite character is Lindon. He is such a perv!! not that I'm attracted to pervs, lol. He always shows up at your funniest moments in the scenes. Love this! Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Ha! This is a great chapter, Mike. I have to say my favorite character is Lindon. He is such a perv!! not that I'm attracted to pervs, lol. He always shows up at your funniest moments in the scenes. Love this! Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Haha, thanks John :-). Indeed, he's a naughty boy, and it'll come back to bite him one day! So glad you enjoyed it.
Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
These characters just get more and more interesting every time I read. It's like what can possibly happen now. Thank you for sharing.
The merchant looked genuinely baffled. "What's that
got ta do wi' me?" I smiled to myself but stayed quiet. (I smiled to myself but stayed quiet. Should be in the same sentence as the merchant talking.)
When Lindon didn't continue, he eventually responded. "I ken visualise, lad. What's the question?" (comma needed after 'responded')
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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These characters just get more and more interesting every time I read. It's like what can possibly happen now. Thank you for sharing.
The merchant looked genuinely baffled. "What's that
got ta do wi' me?" I smiled to myself but stayed quiet. (I smiled to myself but stayed quiet. Should be in the same sentence as the merchant talking.)
When Lindon didn't continue, he eventually responded. "I ken visualise, lad. What's the question?" (comma needed after 'responded')
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Thanks Barbara :-). I like to keep things moving fast in these stories as they're not full length novels - novellas at most - so the situation changes quickly! I've got about 8 novels I need to either start or continue with, so I may move onto one of those next and take my time.
Mike
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Your mastery of words in this book is awesome (sorry, I don't know a UK word with as much power). Also loved the realism in this chapter - I was towing a sailboat on a "wheeled frame" once, and was horrified to see the nearside wheel racing along alone beside me (and moving faster than us). As you revealed here, things did not end well! (thanks for reviving this memory I'd forgotton). Kate xx
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Your mastery of words in this book is awesome (sorry, I don't know a UK word with as much power). Also loved the realism in this chapter - I was towing a sailboat on a "wheeled frame" once, and was horrified to see the nearside wheel racing along alone beside me (and moving faster than us). As you revealed here, things did not end well! (thanks for reviving this memory I'd forgotton). Kate xx
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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The joy of writing a fantasy comedy story is I can go nuts and it all still feels appropriate :-). That said, I do like to keep some things plausible (like combat and wagon wheels!). Thanks so much for the great review, Kate :-)
Mike
Comment from royowen
This was a well described but very rough ride for this motley collection of diversity. I like the ever opportunistically "handy" elf, Lindon, and the greedy merchant whose only motive in life is profit, but as long as they can put up with one another, that's ok, just love it, good characters, good imagery, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2022
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This was a well described but very rough ride for this motley collection of diversity. I like the ever opportunistically "handy" elf, Lindon, and the greedy merchant whose only motive in life is profit, but as long as they can put up with one another, that's ok, just love it, good characters, good imagery, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Roy :-). I love these characters. My only struggle is balancing how short or long to cut the chapters!
Mike
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You?re doing fine.
