haiku (two lone palms)
A Contest Entry37 total reviews
Comment from Carlos' girl
This is perfect. A perfect and pristine haiku. Beautiful descriptive and haunting. The illustration of course is awesome.
Well done. Congratulations. It is hard to write a perfect haiku with restrained emotion and beautiful imagery.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
  |
This is perfect. A perfect and pristine haiku. Beautiful descriptive and haunting. The illustration of course is awesome.
Well done. Congratulations. It is hard to write a perfect haiku with restrained emotion and beautiful imagery.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
-
Thanks for the read and the thoughtful review!
-
Welcome
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
Welcome to FS!!!
You have landed on a unique site filled with a community of talented and published writers/ poets.
You will receive honest critiques as well as support and encouragement.
You have done a terrific job with the prompt, clever and creative.
Your phraseology is excellent. Using sensory details enhances the essence of your carefully chosen words.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
|
Welcome to FS!!!
You have landed on a unique site filled with a community of talented and published writers/ poets.
You will receive honest critiques as well as support and encouragement.
You have done a terrific job with the prompt, clever and creative.
Your phraseology is excellent. Using sensory details enhances the essence of your carefully chosen words.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
-
KL,
Thanks for the encouragement and your thoughtful review!
C2
Comment from Dawn Munro
I think this is true to form yet I am puzzled by the satori. Is the author saying that when darkness falls, the 'two lone palms' will seem to cease?
In any event, best of luck in the prompt.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
I think this is true to form yet I am puzzled by the satori. Is the author saying that when darkness falls, the 'two lone palms' will seem to cease?
In any event, best of luck in the prompt.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
The car in the parking lot?.
-
Oh NO! Say it isn't so! (*smile*) Clever thinking, but (if I may offer a suggestion without offending you) -- our words must stand on their own, most especially in haiku.
Comment from Marienkiefer
-This is a compelling imagery you've created in this haiku. I didn't dwell on the count as it seems the competition allowed for that.
-Not quite sure if oblivion refers to nightfall or something unexpected lurking in the mist.
-You do have an interesting theme going, contrasting solitude and lone sky to an all encompassing force or shadow, if that was your intent.
I find it is a nice poem.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
-This is a compelling imagery you've created in this haiku. I didn't dwell on the count as it seems the competition allowed for that.
-Not quite sure if oblivion refers to nightfall or something unexpected lurking in the mist.
-You do have an interesting theme going, contrasting solitude and lone sky to an all encompassing force or shadow, if that was your intent.
I find it is a nice poem.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
The car in the parking lot?.
-
Oh? I see. Vintage cars, Oblivion car show. 🌸
Comment from jake cosmos aller
loved this short sweet poem and the accompanying image. Where was the image taken? Palm Springs perhaps or some other desert location somewhere? in any event, great haiku,.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
loved this short sweet poem and the accompanying image. Where was the image taken? Palm Springs perhaps or some other desert location somewhere? in any event, great haiku,.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thanks Jake?doctored photo from Santa Barbara.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a perfect mix of words and picture. It seems ekphrastic. It is a beautiful sunset the frames the palms.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats on your milestone post.
dp
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
This is a perfect mix of words and picture. It seems ekphrastic. It is a beautiful sunset the frames the palms.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats on your milestone post.
dp
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thank you!
-
No problem.
Joan
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a vibrant picture and if we are on the cusp of oblivion then we had better hunker down and hope for the best, a fine presentation for the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
This is a vibrant picture and if we are on the cusp of oblivion then we had better hunker down and hope for the best, a fine presentation for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thanks Dolly!
Comment from harmony13
The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line puts
the poem all together. I pondered on the last line and thought about what
it would be like to be oblivious! The poem flows and connects well.
The artwork is awesome and compliments this poem.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line puts
the poem all together. I pondered on the last line and thought about what
it would be like to be oblivious! The poem flows and connects well.
The artwork is awesome and compliments this poem.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thank you!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Haiku Poem writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I like the imagery and presentation.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid" --.Atticus
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
Excellent entry for the Haiku Poem writing prompt contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I like the imagery and presentation.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid" --.Atticus
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thank you Gypsy?no one has more experience on FS with haiku than you so I take this as a real compliment!
-
Thank you ((((red face)))) lol
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with your haiku. The seasonal reference isn't as clear as it seems to be a tropical climate with the two palm trees. The two first lines create a feeling of loneliness and the final line gives a sense of mystery. Perfect illustration for the poem! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
|
Great job with your haiku. The seasonal reference isn't as clear as it seems to be a tropical climate with the two palm trees. The two first lines create a feeling of loneliness and the final line gives a sense of mystery. Perfect illustration for the poem! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
-
Thank you for taking time to read my poem and for your thoughtful review. Much appreciated!
