haiku (two lone palms)
A Contest Entry37 total reviews
Comment from royowen
What a great contemplative post l love the artwork, the evening sy sets the mood for this excellent haiku, and that feeling of impending doom, his is a super post, good luck , blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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What a great contemplative post l love the artwork, the evening sy sets the mood for this excellent haiku, and that feeling of impending doom, his is a super post, good luck , blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Roy,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your thoughtful review!
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Hello poet
Nice job on.this haiku. I love your last line especially. You've used the form correctly with 2 lines of interconnected imagery and a summation. I was just wondering if you could somehow relate the.1st two lines to your last. For example, why two palms and not just one? Does the 2 have something do do with your ending. There should be some sort of relationship between the first two lines and the ending.
Great word choice with use of the word oblivion. You don't use a 5/7/5 count but the rules say it isn't necessary
Best wishes for the contest!
Katiemae Dead
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Hello poet
Nice job on.this haiku. I love your last line especially. You've used the form correctly with 2 lines of interconnected imagery and a summation. I was just wondering if you could somehow relate the.1st two lines to your last. For example, why two palms and not just one? Does the 2 have something do do with your ending. There should be some sort of relationship between the first two lines and the ending.
Great word choice with use of the word oblivion. You don't use a 5/7/5 count but the rules say it isn't necessary
Best wishes for the contest!
Katiemae Dead
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your thoughtful review. In my head I associated the two palms with a couple in the car on their way to a bar to drink away their boredom.
Comment from Raul1
A very good description of Oblivion and it is well written. I have enjoyed reading it. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Very creative. I like it. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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A very good description of Oblivion and it is well written. I have enjoyed reading it. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Very creative. I like it. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Raul1,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your thoughtful review!
Comment from Raul1
A very good description of Oblivion and it is well written. I have enjoyed reading it. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Very creative. I like it. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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A very good description of Oblivion and it is well written. I have enjoyed reading it. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Very creative. I like it. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thank you!
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You're welcome!
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Congratulations on your milestone post and welcome to FanStory. Good response to the haiku prompt. The last line, as it should be in a haiku, is stunning and unexpected. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Congratulations on your milestone post and welcome to FanStory. Good response to the haiku prompt. The last line, as it should be in a haiku, is stunning and unexpected. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Theodore,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your thoughtful review!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Congratulations on your 50th Milestone. This is a beautiful 50. The palm trees against the night sky backdrop are beautiful, and your words match their beauty. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Congratulations on your 50th Milestone. This is a beautiful 50. The palm trees against the night sky backdrop are beautiful, and your words match their beauty. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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John,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your thoughtful review!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your picture is a beautiful accompaniment to your well
written contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading
it. I like the personification of the palms and the great
satori.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Your picture is a beautiful accompaniment to your well
written contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading
it. I like the personification of the palms and the great
satori.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Jan,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your thoughtful review!
