My First Poem
My first attempt at poetry22 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
So even in your early poetry days your bird friends were prominent as was your rhyming, Yvonne. A good life lesson in this bird poem. Good luck in the contest, Yvonne. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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So even in your early poetry days your bird friends were prominent as was your rhyming, Yvonne. A good life lesson in this bird poem. Good luck in the contest, Yvonne. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you. Yes, I'm goofy about birds and trees. All kinds of things in nature.
Comment from Loren .
I loved this little ditty that you made sound so pretty. I was tapping my toes to it rhyme and meter. I also identified with all (yes all) the characters you presented. Then, when I got to the end, how profound. We are still the same, regardless of where we stand. Loren
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
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I loved this little ditty that you made sound so pretty. I was tapping my toes to it rhyme and meter. I also identified with all (yes all) the characters you presented. Then, when I got to the end, how profound. We are still the same, regardless of where we stand. Loren
Comment Written 10-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
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You got what I meant. Few people did. Thank you so much for this truly awesome review!
Comment from Fleedleflump
I love it! I like that you take an experience of some you seen and imagine a whole scenarios and tale around it. A flock of birds becomes a fable.
Thank you for entering my little contest, and I very much enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I love it! I like that you take an experience of some you seen and imagine a whole scenarios and tale around it. A flock of birds becomes a fable.
Thank you for entering my little contest, and I very much enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for the lovely comments. I was driving along one day and say all these birds flocking everywhere. The idea just popped up. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I really liked (If you were up here, you could look at you, too.) It poses such a juxtaposition that boggles the mind.
Para 3, 6th sentence: Need closing quote marks (") after (fuss.)
If only people could think like those birds did.
Nicely said.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I really liked (If you were up here, you could look at you, too.) It poses such a juxtaposition that boggles the mind.
Para 3, 6th sentence: Need closing quote marks (") after (fuss.)
If only people could think like those birds did.
Nicely said.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked that part. The poem was meant to address those who think they're better than everyone. I'm correct the quotation marks. Thanks for catching that.
Comment from Wils
You had the Dr Seuss style down perfectly.I had images of the Cat in the Hat in my head as I was reading this. More than an "attempt" at poetry I think.
Geoff
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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You had the Dr Seuss style down perfectly.I had images of the Cat in the Hat in my head as I was reading this. More than an "attempt" at poetry I think.
Geoff
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Comment from Wendy G
For an early attempt at poetry this is just wonderful. There's good rhyme and metre, both very smooth, there's a story in a poem, there's an excellent moral layer. Very impressive. Obviously you were already gifted at poetry!! An excellent image too. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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For an early attempt at poetry this is just wonderful. There's good rhyme and metre, both very smooth, there's a story in a poem, there's an excellent moral layer. Very impressive. Obviously you were already gifted at poetry!! An excellent image too. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from AnnieDawn
Wow, for the first poems you really had a great talent for writing poetry when you were young. I don't have anything from my childhood that was saved. It is long gone and I am sure destroyed. Thanks for sharing. Yours are wonderful.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Wow, for the first poems you really had a great talent for writing poetry when you were young. I don't have anything from my childhood that was saved. It is long gone and I am sure destroyed. Thanks for sharing. Yours are wonderful.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Awww, you're too kind. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from judiverse
Great commentary in this. Just be ourselves is the right idea. Excellent use of the birds to illustrate this. My mother had a saying that might fit the situation here: "Fly too high and you'll land in a cowpile." It's a matter of perspective whether things look large and small. This is great, with excellent rhyme and flow. I suspect if you were allowed to revise you'd cut come wording. Best of luck. judi
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Great commentary in this. Just be ourselves is the right idea. Excellent use of the birds to illustrate this. My mother had a saying that might fit the situation here: "Fly too high and you'll land in a cowpile." It's a matter of perspective whether things look large and small. This is great, with excellent rhyme and flow. I suspect if you were allowed to revise you'd cut come wording. Best of luck. judi
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Yes, it was a bit long. More of a story in rhyme. Thanks for reviewing.
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You're welcome. Have a great weekend. judi
Comment from BethShelby
My word. That is long poem for the very first one. You sound like Dr. Seuss. You could be be famous. Your poetry even has a lesson in it. It is an excellent poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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My word. That is long poem for the very first one. You sound like Dr. Seuss. You could be be famous. Your poetry even has a lesson in it. It is an excellent poem.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you. I intended it to address snobbery.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You exposed your good nature here and your genuine thoughts about nature, and your innocence in the dialogue, much enjoyed, your words are endearing, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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You exposed your good nature here and your genuine thoughts about nature, and your innocence in the dialogue, much enjoyed, your words are endearing, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you. It was kinda long.
