My First Poem
My first attempt at poetry22 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Not taller at all, though one can brag, until s/he is brought
down a notch or two. I Loved your poem from years past,
Yvonne. The length is great for a story in a poem. Your characters,
the birds, were perfectly described. The imagined dialogue was
fitting as the birds jostle about. I liked the formatting of your lines,
the sweet image, the smooth flow, and the great, and true, message.
I believe many feel this way at times and need others to bring
them back to reality. We can learn so much from critters in nature.
Your love of all things nature shines. This would make a great
children's book.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Not taller at all, though one can brag, until s/he is brought
down a notch or two. I Loved your poem from years past,
Yvonne. The length is great for a story in a poem. Your characters,
the birds, were perfectly described. The imagined dialogue was
fitting as the birds jostle about. I liked the formatting of your lines,
the sweet image, the smooth flow, and the great, and true, message.
I believe many feel this way at times and need others to bring
them back to reality. We can learn so much from critters in nature.
Your love of all things nature shines. This would make a great
children's book.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you soooooo much for this wonderful review!
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi damommy, Yvonne, this poem is lovely, charming, and has great imagery. I could feel your love and joy of life. Of special note:
They flew to the ground to be with the rest.
They saw for themselves they weren't really the best.
(Y, whether you are a bird or a Chairman or even the President, it is lonely at the top.)
A fun poem that made me smile. It almost felt as if I were reading a Dr. Seuss story. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
Xo. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Hi damommy, Yvonne, this poem is lovely, charming, and has great imagery. I could feel your love and joy of life. Of special note:
They flew to the ground to be with the rest.
They saw for themselves they weren't really the best.
(Y, whether you are a bird or a Chairman or even the President, it is lonely at the top.)
A fun poem that made me smile. It almost felt as if I were reading a Dr. Seuss story. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
Xo. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your support. Hope all is well with you.
Comment from lyenochka
This would make a delightful children's picture book! I heard the chatter of birds in your poem and you translated the chatter well AND ended with a good moral to the story! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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This would make a delightful children's picture book! I heard the chatter of birds in your poem and you translated the chatter well AND ended with a good moral to the story! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review.
Comment from karenina
Oh my gosh! Isn't this the best contest ever? To reach back into our past and find our first attempts at poetry? It's a kick to post them without finessing them or editing them. Do you remember how old you were when you wrote this? It has a little Dr. Seuss flavor ~ wisdom in simplicity!
So good! Thank goodness the muse caught your eye and never flew out of view!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Oh my gosh! Isn't this the best contest ever? To reach back into our past and find our first attempts at poetry? It's a kick to post them without finessing them or editing them. Do you remember how old you were when you wrote this? It has a little Dr. Seuss flavor ~ wisdom in simplicity!
So good! Thank goodness the muse caught your eye and never flew out of view!
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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I wrote in in 2015 at age 72. Thanks for reviewing.
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It's timeless. It speaks to every age and circumstance, and I loved reading it!
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, I loved it. A lot of my early songs were very wordy, I wrote one that took 8min 16 secs to sing, when songs were about three minutes or less. I loved this, wondering when the crunch line was, just loved it Yvonne, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Heh heh, I loved it. A lot of my early songs were very wordy, I wrote one that took 8min 16 secs to sing, when songs were about three minutes or less. I loved this, wondering when the crunch line was, just loved it Yvonne, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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I'm so happy you liked it. Thank you, and blessings to you.
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Most welcome
Comment from Sugarray77
I can see that you have always had inherent skill and talent, Yvonne. This is a fun one about birds which is a subject I love and am always interested in... great job!! Thank you for sharing this early one with us.
Melissa
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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I can see that you have always had inherent skill and talent, Yvonne. This is a fun one about birds which is a subject I love and am always interested in... great job!! Thank you for sharing this early one with us.
Melissa
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reviewing it. I love birds, too, as you well know, along with trees and anything in nature. 8-)
Comment from robyn corum
Yvonne,
I ADORE this piece! It's wonderful and should be made into a children's book IMMEDITELY! You might extend the drama a bit -- add a few more bells and whistles about how far some of those birds might go to get attention -- or not.
But out of all the poems I have read for this contest, hands down, yours is tops. I love it!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Yvonne,
I ADORE this piece! It's wonderful and should be made into a children's book IMMEDITELY! You might extend the drama a bit -- add a few more bells and whistles about how far some of those birds might go to get attention -- or not.
But out of all the poems I have read for this contest, hands down, yours is tops. I love it!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Robyn, for such a glowing review! I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from Pantygynt
I preferred the very first one you wrote in your author's not. This one was a bit long-winded. A lot of my earlier stuff is overlong too. I guess verbosity is a common fault at the start of our writing careers.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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I preferred the very first one you wrote in your author's not. This one was a bit long-winded. A lot of my earlier stuff is overlong too. I guess verbosity is a common fault at the start of our writing careers.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thanks for reviewing. Yes, it is a bit long. I'll never write again that long. lol.
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Remember Winston Churchill who apologised for writing such a long letter because he didn't have time to write a shorter one. I love that remark.
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I must remember that. hahahaha
Comment from aryr
What a fabulous picture, damommy. Your words were so truthful and wise. I can just imagine the conversation between the two birds and the group that were down there. This was purely delightful and so realistic. Good luck wishes regarding the contest, damommy.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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What a fabulous picture, damommy. Your words were so truthful and wise. I can just imagine the conversation between the two birds and the group that were down there. This was purely delightful and so realistic. Good luck wishes regarding the contest, damommy.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much.
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You are so very welcome, Yvonne.
Comment from Sally Law
This is precious. I know you are a very petite lady like my sister, Suzy. I am by far taller than any woman in my family. I envied those lower to the ground! ;))
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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This is precious. I know you are a very petite lady like my sister, Suzy. I am by far taller than any woman in my family. I envied those lower to the ground! ;))
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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This was absolutely not meant to imply anything about sizes. It was purely a thing of imagination. Thank you so much, Sally.
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I neglected to say it really was about snobbery. 8-)
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Yep, snobs are like that! ;))
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I am in no way offended. I thought this was fun and real.
Be blessed. Sal XOs
