Moths on the Breeze
A matter of scale in 5-7-5 syllables.13 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is an excellent 5-7-5 with 'h' alliteration in the first line, and the word 'flapping' makes for a re-read when those yachts morph into moths. There is some great imagery and perceived imagery going on here. Nice job.
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This is an excellent 5-7-5 with 'h' alliteration in the first line, and the word 'flapping' makes for a re-read when those yachts morph into moths. There is some great imagery and perceived imagery going on here. Nice job.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2023
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, I see how clever it is to have a double entendre with the "moths" as a class of yachts. Of course, you would know! Great use of the alliteration. Congratulations on the win!!
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Ah, I see how clever it is to have a double entendre with the "moths" as a class of yachts. Of course, you would know! Great use of the alliteration. Congratulations on the win!!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Moths on the Breeze, has the right setup and compares these frozen floaters to winged wanderers flying to the light and home.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This 5-7-5, Moths on the Breeze, has the right setup and compares these frozen floaters to winged wanderers flying to the light and home.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I enjoyed your alliteration Bill.
Comment from harmony13
The first two lines flow and connect well. The last line put it all
together! Thank you for the author's notes - now know what the Moth
is even thought I had to look up dinghy! The author's made me smile.
The artwork is awesome and compliments this poem.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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The first two lines flow and connect well. The last line put it all
together! Thank you for the author's notes - now know what the Moth
is even thought I had to look up dinghy! The author's made me smile.
The artwork is awesome and compliments this poem.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your review. (To make it easy on others I changed dinghy to boat.)
Comment from Wendy G
Love the image and presentation, and the thought. This is very creative and imaginative. It meets all syllable requirements. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Love the image and presentation, and the thought. This is very creative and imaginative. It meets all syllable requirements. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your positive response to my poem. I am grateful.
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It was outstanding. Different and original. Poetic. Deserved a six (but I was out of them).
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Thanks for the generous thought.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a well-done 5-7-5 poem. The syllable count is on point. I like the font centered on the visual. However, it would be more prominent if it was colorful. The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This is a well-done 5-7-5 poem. The syllable count is on point. I like the font centered on the visual. However, it would be more prominent if it was colorful. The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your review. It's not colourful on purpose, because it is approaching night time. I feel that sometimes the visual element of presentations can take away from the words themselves. I actually feel it would provide more of a level playing field if NO illustrations were used, as some people are much more skilled at finding images and have a sense of colour and design and computer skills that other writers don't have.
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You are welcome. I feel great illustrations add to presentation. However, I respect you for your perspective too.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wonderful imagery here as these sailing yachts head for the safety of the harbour, I enjoyed the urgency and the scenes of flapping sails here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Wonderful imagery here as these sailing yachts head for the safety of the harbour, I enjoyed the urgency and the scenes of flapping sails here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your positive response to my poem. I am grateful.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poem writing prompt contest.
Boats and sea is a peaceful image.
Good syllables count and connection between lines. The presentation is nice.
Good luck k in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poem writing prompt contest.
Boats and sea is a peaceful image.
Good syllables count and connection between lines. The presentation is nice.
Good luck k in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your positive response to my poem. I am grateful.
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh my goodness!
That's exactly what they look like!
What an awesome 5-7-5...so very original,
and a great picture!
Good luck in the contest,
blessings...
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Oh my goodness!
That's exactly what they look like!
What an awesome 5-7-5...so very original,
and a great picture!
Good luck in the contest,
blessings...
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much - I appreciate your review. I saw a small fleet on the harbour at a distance and the poem jumped into my head.
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Amazing!! I love the way that works sometimes!
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent 5-7-5 poem for the contest
with very good imagery of the yachts as night moths.
Nice connection of two lines followed by a reflective thought.
Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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This is an excellent 5-7-5 poem for the contest
with very good imagery of the yachts as night moths.
Nice connection of two lines followed by a reflective thought.
Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thanks Robert - I appreciate your review.
