Wishful Thinking
A child's harrowing experience19 total reviews
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Wish I had a six for this one. So intense and tragic and brutal and desperate. Yes, you are a survivor. BTW, your book is amazing, haunting poems that are incredibly well-crafted. Back to this one--this one should have won the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
Wish I had a six for this one. So intense and tragic and brutal and desperate. Yes, you are a survivor. BTW, your book is amazing, haunting poems that are incredibly well-crafted. Back to this one--this one should have won the contest.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Thanks for reading it. It doesn't work that way on FS. This you know. However, I value your opinion. Thanks.
Comment from joann r romei
This broke my heart, some families do not know how to express healthy loving emotions, and that is tragic. I gave you a six for all of the children who have killed themselves, they were not as lucky as the child in the story.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
This broke my heart, some families do not know how to express healthy loving emotions, and that is tragic. I gave you a six for all of the children who have killed themselves, they were not as lucky as the child in the story.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Yes, as a retired educator, I know the dangers many kids live in and through. Surviving childhood is a perilous journey for some. Thanks for reading my poem and your generous rating.
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a sad thing for a nine year old to do. ASA makes you sick, not dead, but to a nine year old it's a pill. You did a great job, and I didn't see any errors. Shirley
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
What a sad thing for a nine year old to do. ASA makes you sick, not dead, but to a nine year old it's a pill. You did a great job, and I didn't see any errors. Shirley
Comment Written 18-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. Good to know, no errors were found.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Sad how family members find time for neighbors, co-workers, schoolmates and teammates but brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, never mind grandparents have become last in line.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
Sad how family members find time for neighbors, co-workers, schoolmates and teammates but brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, never mind grandparents have become last in line.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2022
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Yes, the state of families is sad. Thanks for reading and rating my poem.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, absolutely, a harrowing experience, and sometimes just being alive in a home without love, and filled with hypocrisy is in itself a harrowing life. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
Yes, absolutely, a harrowing experience, and sometimes just being alive in a home without love, and filled with hypocrisy is in itself a harrowing life. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a very sad write and so sad that a child is driven to attempt suicide because of their environment. We soon learn in time that not all families are good and kind but there is love out there for us and we just need to find it. I am glad this young girl survived. Your words here are powerful, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
This is a very sad write and so sad that a child is driven to attempt suicide because of their environment. We soon learn in time that not all families are good and kind but there is love out there for us and we just need to find it. I am glad this young girl survived. Your words here are powerful, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem.
Comment from Fleedleflump
I found the dual, and very different, definition of chap interesting - being English, I've only ever heard it with the first meaning.
This was a (I'll say it) harrowing tale or an early suicide attempt by somebody feeling choked by their situation. How horrifying, that death seemed like the best way out of that sensation. This was very well written.
Mike
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
I found the dual, and very different, definition of chap interesting - being English, I've only ever heard it with the first meaning.
This was a (I'll say it) harrowing tale or an early suicide attempt by somebody feeling choked by their situation. How horrifying, that death seemed like the best way out of that sensation. This was very well written.
Mike
Comment Written 17-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem.
Comment from Heather Knight
I came here after you reviewed one of my stories and I'm so glad I did.
This is absolutely beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful. Your prose reads like poetry.
I hope she had a happy life, specially if this is a real person.
Just something I don't understand:
'She gave the chap vomiting medicine, ipecac.'
Why do you say chap if the child is a girl?
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
I came here after you reviewed one of my stories and I'm so glad I did.
This is absolutely beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful. Your prose reads like poetry.
I hope she had a happy life, specially if this is a real person.
Just something I don't understand:
'She gave the chap vomiting medicine, ipecac.'
Why do you say chap if the child is a girl?
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your supportive comments and the exceptional rating. . My prose is poetry. It is a real person, and she had a better life than she had as a child but not without serious struggles. Chap is a common term in many rural southern black communities for a child of either sex. It's a colloquialism. It's a term one hears daily and especially during the era this person was a child.
In the Merriam Webster.
Definition of chap (Entry 4 of 5)
1chiefly British : FELLOW sense 4c
2Southern US and Midland US : BABY, CHILD
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Thanks for explaining. I'd dare say in Britain is used just to talk about men, but I might be mistaken.
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You are correct.
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I just realized I forgot a subject in my last reply. I shouldn't post that quickly.
I meant: in Britain it is used.
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I understood what you meant.
Comment from royowen
It would be terrible if a child attempted to take her life, but the appears to be plenty of teenage children, not only attempting but succeeding, we had a friend that lost her granddaughter, even though she pretty, gifted, in a loving family, she still committed this tragedy. Beautifully written my friend, it's great the theme in this super poem was being a survivor, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
It would be terrible if a child attempted to take her life, but the appears to be plenty of teenage children, not only attempting but succeeding, we had a friend that lost her granddaughter, even though she pretty, gifted, in a loving family, she still committed this tragedy. Beautifully written my friend, it's great the theme in this super poem was being a survivor, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. Appreciated!
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Most welcome
Comment from Lilly Flowers
Sadly, there are more suicide attempts these days. Growing up in the 50's, life had its challenges, but it's worse for children now, whether they come from loving homes or not.
I found this very engaging. It grabbed my attention and held it throughout. I loved seeing the old aspirin tin. My first critique was better, but I'm anxious to see if this goes through. It better! Regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
Sadly, there are more suicide attempts these days. Growing up in the 50's, life had its challenges, but it's worse for children now, whether they come from loving homes or not.
I found this very engaging. It grabbed my attention and held it throughout. I loved seeing the old aspirin tin. My first critique was better, but I'm anxious to see if this goes through. It better! Regards, Lilly
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem.