Wishful Thinking
A child's harrowing experience19 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
When this contest is over, I hope you tell the story of this sad nine year old child. To want to die at that age is awful! But her back story must be awful, too. As are many childrens' around the world. This is a really harrowing story and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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When this contest is over, I hope you tell the story of this sad nine year old child. To want to die at that age is awful! But her back story must be awful, too. As are many childrens' around the world. This is a really harrowing story and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. The backstory is a book.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, WOW. It's difficult to understand why a 9 year old child would want to die. Depression and hopelessness starts at an early age--people do not realize.
Of note:
So tired of a family
who from Monday thru Saturday
played creditable
loveless roles.
(I noticed that Sunday was not included. I hope that Sunday was a peaceful day. This is the opposite of my husband's family. Just
sharing--his grandparents fought every day of the week, but on Sunday, the only day of the week when they ate decently, the fighting escalated--best dinner of the week ruined, each and every week. Author, this is what those lines made me reflect upon.)
Also:
Mother didn't want the church folks to know.
(I'm glad that the world has changed/is changing. When someone needs help, keeping a secret should be the last thing that anyone should have to worry about, It's just all too much stress and anxiety.)
Death denied her wish. It was not time for this little Angel to be called home--no matter how hard she tried.
Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBlomer
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Hello author, WOW. It's difficult to understand why a 9 year old child would want to die. Depression and hopelessness starts at an early age--people do not realize.
Of note:
So tired of a family
who from Monday thru Saturday
played creditable
loveless roles.
(I noticed that Sunday was not included. I hope that Sunday was a peaceful day. This is the opposite of my husband's family. Just
sharing--his grandparents fought every day of the week, but on Sunday, the only day of the week when they ate decently, the fighting escalated--best dinner of the week ruined, each and every week. Author, this is what those lines made me reflect upon.)
Also:
Mother didn't want the church folks to know.
(I'm glad that the world has changed/is changing. When someone needs help, keeping a secret should be the last thing that anyone should have to worry about, It's just all too much stress and anxiety.)
Death denied her wish. It was not time for this little Angel to be called home--no matter how hard she tried.
Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBlomer
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. Sunday's everyone pretended to be Christians.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
That is a harrowing story. I am glad she's a survivor. The writing is good and the story fits the bill, but I found myself wondering why through the whole thing. Could you have given the reader a hint why a 9-year-old child would want to try to die. I mean you hint at a lack of love and a disengagement, but I wonder what about the specifics and wouldn't those make it harrowing too? Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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That is a harrowing story. I am glad she's a survivor. The writing is good and the story fits the bill, but I found myself wondering why through the whole thing. Could you have given the reader a hint why a 9-year-old child would want to try to die. I mean you hint at a lack of love and a disengagement, but I wonder what about the specifics and wouldn't those make it harrowing too? Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. I understand the curiosity many readers may have. But the fact the father cannot bother to miss his sleep and the mom is concerned about the church folks show a mark indifference to the well-being of the child. That indifference is a trademark of their rearing of children. You have a valid question.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Sandra,
An excellent poem, though sad, tells of a very young girl who is living without adult supervision. Her parents should have pills locked up, or at least hidden somewhere out of reach. Her parents don't seem to be involved in her life, or they would know she was having suicidal thoughts.
I remember when pills were sold in such a small tin. Most today have safe tops.
I know life is hard these days, and getting harder. Gas and grocery prices keep escalating. Greed runs rampant in our world. But moms and dads have a responsibility, not just on Sundays at church, but every single day of the week.
"So tired of a family
who from Monday thru Saturday
played creditable
loveless roles."
and,
"At church, for Sunday offerings "Praise the Lawd!"
So sad for this little girl,
"Father said, "she shouldn't have done it, and I need my sleep.
Mother didn't want the church folks to know."
Thank goodness, the pills weren't enough to do her in. Hopefully, she learned her lesson.
Nicely penned.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Hi Sandra,
An excellent poem, though sad, tells of a very young girl who is living without adult supervision. Her parents should have pills locked up, or at least hidden somewhere out of reach. Her parents don't seem to be involved in her life, or they would know she was having suicidal thoughts.
I remember when pills were sold in such a small tin. Most today have safe tops.
I know life is hard these days, and getting harder. Gas and grocery prices keep escalating. Greed runs rampant in our world. But moms and dads have a responsibility, not just on Sundays at church, but every single day of the week.
"So tired of a family
who from Monday thru Saturday
played creditable
loveless roles."
and,
"At church, for Sunday offerings "Praise the Lawd!"
So sad for this little girl,
"Father said, "she shouldn't have done it, and I need my sleep.
Mother didn't want the church folks to know."
Thank goodness, the pills weren't enough to do her in. Hopefully, she learned her lesson.
Nicely penned.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your heartfelt comments and for rating my poem. For some living isn't an easy path.
Comment from LisaMay
The impact of poor parenting is revealed by the desperation this poor child felt in wishing to remove herself. At only 9 years old! - her childhood already blighted 'at an early age of aging'.
The indifference of the parents is extreme:
Father said, "she shouldn't have done it, and I need my sleep."
Your writing is fresh and has impact. I like your creative sentence structure, not scared of brevity.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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The impact of poor parenting is revealed by the desperation this poor child felt in wishing to remove herself. At only 9 years old! - her childhood already blighted 'at an early age of aging'.
The indifference of the parents is extreme:
Father said, "she shouldn't have done it, and I need my sleep."
Your writing is fresh and has impact. I like your creative sentence structure, not scared of brevity.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. My poetry tends to pull back the cover and reveal the underbelly of life. However, I do write sweet poems too.
Comment from RodG
I think you have characterized a troubled 9-year-old very well in this very short story. You give us the backstory quickly and set the scene vividly as she swallows all those pills. We are happy she survived, but wonder when she will try again to kill herself. Rod
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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I think you have characterized a troubled 9-year-old very well in this very short story. You give us the backstory quickly and set the scene vividly as she swallows all those pills. We are happy she survived, but wonder when she will try again to kill herself. Rod
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thanks for reading and rating my poem. Hopefully, she will never try again.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Wishful Thinking, finds the story of a young girl who has already lost hope in the future. This is a total parent failure.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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This poem, Wishful Thinking, finds the story of a young girl who has already lost hope in the future. This is a total parent failure.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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I agree with you 100%. However, so many are born into this type of situation.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
What a gift you have of taking your reader into the deepest chambers of your heart. This scenario is excruciating, and one a lesser writer might have made maudlin. You, though, made it understandable deep inside its harrowing outer shell. I will be flabbergasted if you don't win this contest. You 100 percent have my vote. I think you are an incredible writer.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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What a gift you have of taking your reader into the deepest chambers of your heart. This scenario is excruciating, and one a lesser writer might have made maudlin. You, though, made it understandable deep inside its harrowing outer shell. I will be flabbergasted if you don't win this contest. You 100 percent have my vote. I think you are an incredible writer.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for reading my poem and the exceptional rating. However, what I value most is your words of understanding and support. It was me, but I used the pronoun she because people can barely deal with the thought even in 3rd person voice.
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I surmised as much. I'm so glad you're still with us, because your words are having an impact on others. I'm a teacher, and one of my biggest realizations has been that if we can survive childhood, we can survive pretty much everything. xo
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Funny thing, I am a retired educator too. I taught middle school and HS English over 28 years. I could feel the pain of my kids coming from troubled homes. My kids adored me because I gave them all the love I never got. My first class of students are now 40 and some of them and their parents are my FB friends. Blessings to you!
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I do believe we are two peas in a pod.
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LOL~ A pod I'll gladly share with you.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
If it is not your time to go, you will not die. Our time on earth has been recorded. In God's journal. This is such a young age to think about suicide.
It is a shame a child so young to be that miserable. However, I was much younger as a miserable child. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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If it is not your time to go, you will not die. Our time on earth has been recorded. In God's journal. This is such a young age to think about suicide.
It is a shame a child so young to be that miserable. However, I was much younger as a miserable child. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem. This child was also much younger miserable as a child. One doesn't contemplate suicide at 9 unless a lot of ugly stuff has happened before then.
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I understand and bless you. You sound like me, we were stripped of our childhood, we were put into adult roles at an early age. I think my sexual abuse started at nineteen months old. Obviously, I was too young to remember. But, at five years old, I remember too well. And at age fifteen, an aunt told me my mom caught the same bastard cousin messing with me, a nineteen month old baby and did not call the law. And continued letting him come around me.
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Wow! It's awful the things so many of us most endure as children. Thank goodness, we survived and can help others going through similar trauma. Blessings are wished for you too.
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I have never been so detailed of what I told you. I felt you would understand. Thank you, and what we went through should have never happened. And that cousin of mind alleged he raped his own children. His private parts should have been chopped off. Bless you as well.
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I agree with you. Castration for all molesters and rapists.
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YES.
