Self-Taken
A take on survivor's guilt39 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Just love the song, and I love the method of literary delivery, you are not compelled by any style or any particular form. I love the musical, and envy the name. In my wild a winnowed youth, I was frontman for a talented group of musicians, we called ourselves Le Bido, beautifully written Mike, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Just love the song, and I love the method of literary delivery, you are not compelled by any style or any particular form. I love the musical, and envy the name. In my wild a winnowed youth, I was frontman for a talented group of musicians, we called ourselves Le Bido, beautifully written Mike, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Le Bido - lol, I love it :-). Thanks Roy. The 'form' felt right as I was penning this. It's like a sonnet mixed with a limerick, almost - flow-wise, anyway. A Sonnerick!
I'm so glad you liked this one.
Mike
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A sonnerick? love it
Comment from karenina
We may learn to live with grief, though I don't believe in closure--only mitigation in decibels of pain...
This poem dives well beyond the pain of loss. It speaks to the nagging assurance we carry that if only we'd seen more clearly, stopped talking and listened, or considered the ramifications of our actions, we might have altered fate.
It feels deeply personal. This is either a nod to an experience you are purging in brilliant verse, or brilliant verse that reaches out and reverberates in my soul...perhaps both!
It is the most powerful writing I've seen in quite some time. I can't seem to gather up my words to express how affected I am.
Speechless. Perhaps that's the greatest compliment of all!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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We may learn to live with grief, though I don't believe in closure--only mitigation in decibels of pain...
This poem dives well beyond the pain of loss. It speaks to the nagging assurance we carry that if only we'd seen more clearly, stopped talking and listened, or considered the ramifications of our actions, we might have altered fate.
It feels deeply personal. This is either a nod to an experience you are purging in brilliant verse, or brilliant verse that reaches out and reverberates in my soul...perhaps both!
It is the most powerful writing I've seen in quite some time. I can't seem to gather up my words to express how affected I am.
Speechless. Perhaps that's the greatest compliment of all!
Karenina
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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I can only thank you - you've seen right to the heart of every sensation that drove this poem. It's not a personal reality, but it's the reality that the song conjured in my imagination, and then the emotions resulting from inhabiting the character.
I'm honoured by your response.
Mike
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I thought about this poem all day today...
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem seems to be grieving for a lost loved one. It seems there is feeling of guilt and of wanting revenge for the death.
Very dramatic performance of the song that you did a good poetic recap of
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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This poem seems to be grieving for a lost loved one. It seems there is feeling of guilt and of wanting revenge for the death.
Very dramatic performance of the song that you did a good poetic recap of
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Joan :-). I could feel a strong sense of angst and self-recrimination in the song, so I wanted to translate that into a poem.
Mike
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My pleasure, Mike. You did it well.
Joan
Comment from lyenochka
The music and vocals were powerful but I didn't understand the song. And I'm not sure I understand the poem either. But it speaks to me of the inadequacy of words in expressing all that is harbored in the soul.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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The music and vocals were powerful but I didn't understand the song. And I'm not sure I understand the poem either. But it speaks to me of the inadequacy of words in expressing all that is harbored in the soul.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Tjank you :-). I think you may have summed up all of poetry there - what are we doing if not striving to convey what we can't articulate. I think the song as about a child who drowned and how both his spirit and those left behind try to deal with that. I took that sense of recrimination and loss, and applied it to a different scenario in my poem, of one who's taken their own life, and how those left in the wake agonise over every time they were angry or indifferent to them.
Mike
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Thanks for the explanation!
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I hope I wasn't patronising. I think interpretation is always open in poetry - even to the writer, so you got me to think about what I intended by the words.
Mike
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No, you weren't patronizing at all. Sometimes things really click and other times I don't always get the meaning. I think being from different cultures, countries, and generations also adds a challenge.
Comment from mermaids
The song is hauntingly beautiful. Thanks for sharing it. I love the line in your poem "I turned my face to feel your soul in flight". It makes me feel people in my life who have passed on. Your poem makes the reader think and I believe all of us can relate to your words.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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The song is hauntingly beautiful. Thanks for sharing it. I love the line in your poem "I turned my face to feel your soul in flight". It makes me feel people in my life who have passed on. Your poem makes the reader think and I believe all of us can relate to your words.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I wanted to capture a motif for that internal, personal sensation we feel - that connection to one passed. I'm so glad it worked.
Mike
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation.
-Thanks for the notes.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-You set the scene well in the opening lines.
-I like how you bring raven into the poem,
and the last line of that verse.
-A good concluding verse, as well.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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-Nice artwork and presentation.
-Thanks for the notes.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-You set the scene well in the opening lines.
-I like how you bring raven into the poem,
and the last line of that verse.
-A good concluding verse, as well.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Pam - I'm so glad you liked it :-)
Mike
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You are welcome, Mike.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Great video. I'll have to check out that singer. Interesting rhyme scheme in your poem. Read it three times. Think I got most of it, but the water was pretty deep.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Great video. I'll have to check out that singer. Interesting rhyme scheme in your poem. Read it three times. Think I got most of it, but the water was pretty deep.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Paul :-). She's been in various bands through the years, but when she teamed up with Nightwish, she and the band both really found their place.
I wanted to touch on that idea of sadness and guilt relating to one who's passed, in this case by their own hand, and how we might interrogate our memories with them to wonder whether we share any culpability.
Thanks for the great review :-)
Mike
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
This was an interesting poem about survivor's guilt.
The presentation and picture is beautiful and matches your poem well.
The information and video in your author notes were helpful.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason".- Novalis
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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This was an interesting poem about survivor's guilt.
The presentation and picture is beautiful and matches your poem well.
The information and video in your author notes were helpful.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason".- Novalis
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Gypsy - I'm so glad you liked it :-)
Mike
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We sometimes feel deep regret at not having listened enough or took action to change someone's course in life and we blame ourselves, I understood your words and your word choice is unusual, accurate and chilling,
This my favourite stanza:
I was the raven, shadow of your wings,
innocuous deliverance,
irreverent indifference,
the last of choices left for you to sing.
Being indifferent has to be the cruelest treatments we can dish out.
I felt your pain here, a talented write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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We sometimes feel deep regret at not having listened enough or took action to change someone's course in life and we blame ourselves, I understood your words and your word choice is unusual, accurate and chilling,
This my favourite stanza:
I was the raven, shadow of your wings,
innocuous deliverance,
irreverent indifference,
the last of choices left for you to sing.
Being indifferent has to be the cruelest treatments we can dish out.
I felt your pain here, a talented write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you do much, Dolly - you saw everything I intended :-). I always worry I'm being too obscure so it's awesome to read your insightful review.
Mike
Comment from RaynaHarleenQuinns
The poem was very good.
I could help but to wonder if....
Inanity Eternal fee was supposed to insanity eternal Fee.
Still Cool and love how the Raven is the focal point of it.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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The poem was very good.
I could help but to wonder if....
Inanity Eternal fee was supposed to insanity eternal Fee.
Still Cool and love how the Raven is the focal point of it.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). Inanity was the intent - as in dull irrelevance, but insanity would indeed also work!
Mike
