Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 63 "Atop the bluff"Musings of an old man - 2022
35 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
What an adorable photograph of the fawns. You have captured some lovely imagery here brought on by the breeze and rolling clouds.
You have nicely sewn in the repeating first line in each stanza to the last line in conclusion.
A most enjoyable read today. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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What an adorable photograph of the fawns. You have captured some lovely imagery here brought on by the breeze and rolling clouds.
You have nicely sewn in the repeating first line in each stanza to the last line in conclusion.
A most enjoyable read today. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Gloria, thank you for your validation of this Empat Empat poem.
Comment from Ulla
This is the second Empat Empat poem I've read tonight. It's getting on for 11pm here in Spain. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. The imagery is beautiful and I was there with you on the bluff. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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This is the second Empat Empat poem I've read tonight. It's getting on for 11pm here in Spain. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. The imagery is beautiful and I was there with you on the bluff. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2022
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Ulla, good Sunday afternoon to you! Thank you for your validation of this Empat Empat poem. Yes, in my world there is a God that makes all things of nature just a bit more pure.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is a wonderful Empat Empat poem. I can tell you are so thoroughly amazed by the beautiful of nature. I hiked a lot and can definitely understand. Now I might be able to write one about the amazingly beautiful Italy that I just visited for 3.5 weeks.
Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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This is a wonderful Empat Empat poem. I can tell you are so thoroughly amazed by the beautiful of nature. I hiked a lot and can definitely understand. Now I might be able to write one about the amazingly beautiful Italy that I just visited for 3.5 weeks.
Well done.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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Jasmine Girl, I am certain you have many images imprinted on your soul! Write away and share them, thanks Jim
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This empat empat poem is excellently done.
The moving of the chosen line from top to bottom is clever. The difficult rhyme scheme must be hard to do yet you do a wonderful job.
The beautiful fawns show a lovely pose.
I see no typos or misspellings in the piece.
Thanks for sharing.
Jesse
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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This empat empat poem is excellently done.
The moving of the chosen line from top to bottom is clever. The difficult rhyme scheme must be hard to do yet you do a wonderful job.
The beautiful fawns show a lovely pose.
I see no typos or misspellings in the piece.
Thanks for sharing.
Jesse
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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Jesse, thank you for your wonderful validation on this Potlatch club entry. I truly value your comments, Jim
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You're welcome, Jim.
I am happy you liked my review.
Jesse
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is a beautiful poem. It's calming, and in touch with the pieces of nature one loves to enjoy. I loved the rhyming verse and the way it flowed from sentence to sentence. Well done. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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This is a beautiful poem. It's calming, and in touch with the pieces of nature one loves to enjoy. I loved the rhyming verse and the way it flowed from sentence to sentence. Well done. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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JohnC, thank you for your wonderful validation on this Potlatch club entry. I truly value your comments, Jim
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and well written poem.
-A very good repeating line that fits in well with each verse.
-Effective imagery and rhyme create a good word picture of the scene.
-I like the different views you describe, from high on the bluff.
-I particularly like the line, "The air is cooling, but I am unfazed."
-A very good concluding verse describing the twin fawns.
-Very well done!
-If you don't want all of the question marks, etc. in the notes, most of which are because of apostrophes, back space until you get to the end of the actual word and put the apostrophe in.
-Have a good weekend.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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-Very nice image and well written poem.
-A very good repeating line that fits in well with each verse.
-Effective imagery and rhyme create a good word picture of the scene.
-I like the different views you describe, from high on the bluff.
-I particularly like the line, "The air is cooling, but I am unfazed."
-A very good concluding verse describing the twin fawns.
-Very well done!
-If you don't want all of the question marks, etc. in the notes, most of which are because of apostrophes, back space until you get to the end of the actual word and put the apostrophe in.
-Have a good weekend.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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Hi Pam, thank you for your wonderful validation on this Potlatch club entry. I truly value your comments, may your weekend be filled with joys and wonder! Jim
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You are very welcome, Jim, and you deserved it. It's hot and humid in NJ, so it puts a damper on the "joy and wonder" if you go outside:)
Comment from Wendy G
How beautiful - the twin fawns were the crowning beauty on an already amazing and wonderful scene. I enjoyed this one with the cascading line very much! Well written!
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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How beautiful - the twin fawns were the crowning beauty on an already amazing and wonderful scene. I enjoyed this one with the cascading line very much! Well written!
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much, I trust your weekend has launched into a
wonder-filled winter day.
Comment from tempeste
Ciao poet!
I live perched on a mount at 700m in the north of Italy.
I love my morning walks , breathe fresh air in my nostrils, feel my skin tingle and be one with mother nature.
On a couple of occasions I have had the luck to see close up the local fauna.
Once I was about to cross our bridge when I heard some rustling; I stopped and took a look on the left hand side below and 'lo and behold there was a mamma deer with her fawn.
What a beautiful sight.
Another time I saw a rusty fox cross in front of me.
It's worth going out in the morning just before dawn, to watch sunrise.
Meeting some wildlife that has wandered closer to our town is truly a treat.
I enjoyed reading about your exciting encounter.
Keep safe!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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Ciao poet!
I live perched on a mount at 700m in the north of Italy.
I love my morning walks , breathe fresh air in my nostrils, feel my skin tingle and be one with mother nature.
On a couple of occasions I have had the luck to see close up the local fauna.
Once I was about to cross our bridge when I heard some rustling; I stopped and took a look on the left hand side below and 'lo and behold there was a mamma deer with her fawn.
What a beautiful sight.
Another time I saw a rusty fox cross in front of me.
It's worth going out in the morning just before dawn, to watch sunrise.
Meeting some wildlife that has wandered closer to our town is truly a treat.
I enjoyed reading about your exciting encounter.
Keep safe!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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temspeste WOW! Thank you for your sharing a snap of your mountain perch.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I have to admit the picture drew my attention.
Then I read an enchanting poem of the beauty of nature with and ending with a stunning and gentle image of twin fawns.
Best wishes
Mary
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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I have to admit the picture drew my attention.
Then I read an enchanting poem of the beauty of nature with and ending with a stunning and gentle image of twin fawns.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment Written 15-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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Mary, thank you!
Comment from Heather Knight
I love the way this poem is written. I'm referring both to the form and the content. You're not just an observer: you seem to be one with the nature surrounding you.
There's only a little thing I would change:
Your whole poem is written in present, but in the last verse you've used two verbs in the past:
amid plentiful wildflowers, they grazED,
as the golden sun rays turnED their coats bronze,
I apologize if you did this on purpose or there's something here that I don't understand.
Have a nice weekend,
MJ
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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I love the way this poem is written. I'm referring both to the form and the content. You're not just an observer: you seem to be one with the nature surrounding you.
There's only a little thing I would change:
Your whole poem is written in present, but in the last verse you've used two verbs in the past:
amid plentiful wildflowers, they grazED,
as the golden sun rays turnED their coats bronze,
I apologize if you did this on purpose or there's something here that I don't understand.
Have a nice weekend,
MJ
Comment Written 15-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2022
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MJ, thank you! I have mustered up the courage to change this. 🙏🙏😊
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Why courage?
I hope not to have made you do something you didn't want to.
The constructive criticism thing is really difficult. There's such a fine line between been helpful and maybe offensive...
Have a lovely day.
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Heather, oh no! your comments were precious and welcomed. I simply needed to trust my inner ear, which with two hearing aids and lousy hearing, is my Achilles heel, to sound out the rhythms.
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I understand now. My knowledge of poetry is non-existent. Have a nice Sunday.
