Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Mountain sights"Musings of an old man - 2022
29 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This is a terrific verse!
I am unfamiliar with this style of poetry, I appreciate the exposure.
Your word painting is suburb!
The picture you painted transported me to the beautiful serene mountain setting.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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This is a terrific verse!
I am unfamiliar with this style of poetry, I appreciate the exposure.
Your word painting is suburb!
The picture you painted transported me to the beautiful serene mountain setting.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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K.L, thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from Tina Crute
If I had a six, it would be yours. The personification of the unkind wind, the log hanging on and the rainbow dancing is well joined to the literal details you included. How'd you do that?:)
Seriously, the action and detail in this poem would normally make it heavy, maybe forced, but for being jam-packed with imagery, this reads like your wandering stream-of-thought. Your writing has personality. I am not sure I have seen another poem that shows so much of it. I love the onopatopeia of the crashing splashing waterfall. This poem is alive...and very busy.
Awesome job!
Tina
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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If I had a six, it would be yours. The personification of the unkind wind, the log hanging on and the rainbow dancing is well joined to the literal details you included. How'd you do that?:)
Seriously, the action and detail in this poem would normally make it heavy, maybe forced, but for being jam-packed with imagery, this reads like your wandering stream-of-thought. Your writing has personality. I am not sure I have seen another poem that shows so much of it. I love the onopatopeia of the crashing splashing waterfall. This poem is alive...and very busy.
Awesome job!
Tina
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Tina, Oh my! Thank you for picking up on the subtleties that are embedded in this challenging poetic style.
Comment from nomi338
Your poem is very descriptive. So much so, I had nor problem imagining I was actually observing with my eyes the actions your words were describing. This is not an easy task, if done poorly, the results can be very disappointing. This was obviously not the case. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Your poem is very descriptive. So much so, I had nor problem imagining I was actually observing with my eyes the actions your words were describing. This is not an easy task, if done poorly, the results can be very disappointing. This was obviously not the case. Congratulations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Nomi thank you very much for your words. I always value your comments.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is an enjoyable piece. This appears to be a call to nature with an eagle's eye, noticing sodden trees, logs hanging on to the banks of crashing waterfalls, and limbs swaying in frothy currents. Super imagery! Loved it, Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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This is an enjoyable piece. This appears to be a call to nature with an eagle's eye, noticing sodden trees, logs hanging on to the banks of crashing waterfalls, and limbs swaying in frothy currents. Super imagery! Loved it, Best, JohnC
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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John, thank you for your validadation.
Comment from lyenochka
Another lovely nature poem born from one of your hikes. I particularly enjoyed your second stanza, especially, "a folksy tune sing-along song.
round more or less hither and yon."
Question:
Felled Fir's sodden, are decaying, (Do you mean that the felled fir trees are sodden? I see that "are" is used here for the plural. "Felled Fir's sodden" reads to me as if someone named Felled Fir is sodden, where Fir's is a contraction of "Fir is."
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Another lovely nature poem born from one of your hikes. I particularly enjoyed your second stanza, especially, "a folksy tune sing-along song.
round more or less hither and yon."
Question:
Felled Fir's sodden, are decaying, (Do you mean that the felled fir trees are sodden? I see that "are" is used here for the plural. "Felled Fir's sodden" reads to me as if someone named Felled Fir is sodden, where Fir's is a contraction of "Fir is."
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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My friend! you are correct, thank you for pointing this out, JLR
Comment from pome lover
line 1 is the same in all three stanzas but it isn't - clear as mud. just kidding
this was a challenge and you took it and did well.
I used to live in Crested Butte, CO and saw many "felled firs sodden" (and felled skiers sodden, too)
Anyway, a very nice poem, and now I know what a Trijan Refrain is. Thank you for introducing me to it with such a lovely example.
Katharine
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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line 1 is the same in all three stanzas but it isn't - clear as mud. just kidding
this was a challenge and you took it and did well.
I used to live in Crested Butte, CO and saw many "felled firs sodden" (and felled skiers sodden, too)
Anyway, a very nice poem, and now I know what a Trijan Refrain is. Thank you for introducing me to it with such a lovely example.
Katharine
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Katherine, of course, you would be familiar with crashing, thrashing snowmelt streams. I love that neck of the woods for its pure ruggedness. 🤗🤗
Comment from dragonpoet
JLR,
This is a well done entry for the trijan refrain potlach. Your words give clear images of your sights on your walk and the sound of the water and your voice. The artwork and words match well.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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JLR,
This is a well done entry for the trijan refrain potlach. Your words give clear images of your sights on your walk and the sound of the water and your voice. The artwork and words match well.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thank you Joan!
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You're welcome, Jim.
Joan
Comment from royowen
How interesting, there are so many forms here, there are a couple of websites to find some old ones on, or even new ones. It's fascinating how try crop up, but you've done a great job on these Jim, you must have spent some time on these, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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How interesting, there are so many forms here, there are a couple of websites to find some old ones on, or even new ones. It's fascinating how try crop up, but you've done a great job on these Jim, you must have spent some time on these, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Roy, thank you. I must give credit where credit is due, Jannypan ( Jan) works here weekly magic for the Potlatch poetry club and comes up with these great challenges, which I enjoy.
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Well done to you both
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is a gloriously sensory piece, conjuring a massive sense of atmosphere and place. I love the repetition lines, giving us those pulses of rhythm to pause and enjoy the 'view'.
Awesome writing.
Mike
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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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This is a gloriously sensory piece, conjuring a massive sense of atmosphere and place. I love the repetition lines, giving us those pulses of rhythm to pause and enjoy the 'view'.
Awesome writing.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thank so much, Mike!
