Sinclair Pickens-Smythe
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "It's a Corker!"His story
9 total reviews
Comment from aryr
This was a fantastic continuation chapter, damommy. Arabella has another run in with Detective Lieutenant Runyon and is then jailed. Mr. Buggles and Mrs. Kittle have a feast with a lot of questions among themselves. Poor Mr. Littleman has come across a dilemma, now what is he to do with Arabella. Heaven knows that Sinclair will need to know. Great job, greatly enjoyed. Definitely a great feast picture.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
  |
This was a fantastic continuation chapter, damommy. Arabella has another run in with Detective Lieutenant Runyon and is then jailed. Mr. Buggles and Mrs. Kittle have a feast with a lot of questions among themselves. Poor Mr. Littleman has come across a dilemma, now what is he to do with Arabella. Heaven knows that Sinclair will need to know. Great job, greatly enjoyed. Definitely a great feast picture.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
-
Thank you so much.
-
You are so welcome, Yvonne.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Yvonne,
If Sinclair is smart, he'll stay in hiding and instruct Littleman to keep quiet! I doubt that the police can hold Arabella anyway. They don't have any evidence against her. If she was smart, she'd sue. How will she pay a lawyer? That's the big question. I say, good for her. This is the same woman who just told Lt. Runyan,
"How should I know," she screamed. "I hardly noticed the little doofus unless I tripped over him."
Terrific chapter, Yvonne! I enjoyed it. But I hope Sinclair stays put. Runyan needs to find some evidence against Arabella. And that won't be easy, seeing that she didn't kill her hubby. She beat him to death with her tongue, until he couldn't take it anymore.
"The last I saw of him," explained Arabella, "was when I left to go (the party at the) Hal and Clarissa's, the Winchesters." ... ( I suggest,
"The last I saw of him," explained Arabella, "was when I left to go to the party at Hal and Clarissa's, the Winchesters.z0
"Sinclair had been very careful to choose clothes that wouldn't be noticed (gone), and had documentation of the things he'd need for identification, in his new name." ... ( I suggest,
Sinclair had been very careful to choose clothes that wouldn't be noticed missing, and had documentation of the things he'd need for identification, in his new name.)
"But . . . what if he's dead?" ... ( I suggest,
But . . . what if he is dead? ~and I'd italicize and bold "is")
"If you have any idea where he is, now is the time to (tell) it." ...( I suggest,
If you have any idea where he is, now is the time to disclose it.)
Keep up the good work! Looking forward to the next chapter.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
 |
Hi Yvonne,
If Sinclair is smart, he'll stay in hiding and instruct Littleman to keep quiet! I doubt that the police can hold Arabella anyway. They don't have any evidence against her. If she was smart, she'd sue. How will she pay a lawyer? That's the big question. I say, good for her. This is the same woman who just told Lt. Runyan,
"How should I know," she screamed. "I hardly noticed the little doofus unless I tripped over him."
Terrific chapter, Yvonne! I enjoyed it. But I hope Sinclair stays put. Runyan needs to find some evidence against Arabella. And that won't be easy, seeing that she didn't kill her hubby. She beat him to death with her tongue, until he couldn't take it anymore.
"The last I saw of him," explained Arabella, "was when I left to go (the party at the) Hal and Clarissa's, the Winchesters." ... ( I suggest,
"The last I saw of him," explained Arabella, "was when I left to go to the party at Hal and Clarissa's, the Winchesters.z0
"Sinclair had been very careful to choose clothes that wouldn't be noticed (gone), and had documentation of the things he'd need for identification, in his new name." ... ( I suggest,
Sinclair had been very careful to choose clothes that wouldn't be noticed missing, and had documentation of the things he'd need for identification, in his new name.)
"But . . . what if he's dead?" ... ( I suggest,
But . . . what if he is dead? ~and I'd italicize and bold "is")
"If you have any idea where he is, now is the time to (tell) it." ...( I suggest,
If you have any idea where he is, now is the time to disclose it.)
Keep up the good work! Looking forward to the next chapter.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
-
Thank you for a wonderful review and suggestions. I'm going to close it next chapter.
-
That's a shame, Yvonne. This story could have been a novel. But I noticed you only had 7 reviews when I wrote mine. That's disheartening. Members are missing a great story from an excellent writer.
-
Thank you.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your descriptions of the people and the scenes are great, Yvonne.
I like the formatting of this chapter. You gave readers some great
details. Oh, poor Arabella. Her cover is about to be blown, and she
will never get over it. The way the evidence so far points to her is
another headache for her. Biggles and Miss Kittle are really enjoying
themselves, yet have the presence of mind to plan ahead if things change
quickly. Your story is developing well.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
|
Your descriptions of the people and the scenes are great, Yvonne.
I like the formatting of this chapter. You gave readers some great
details. Oh, poor Arabella. Her cover is about to be blown, and she
will never get over it. The way the evidence so far points to her is
another headache for her. Biggles and Miss Kittle are really enjoying
themselves, yet have the presence of mind to plan ahead if things change
quickly. Your story is developing well.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
-
Thank you. I don't know where it will go from here. hahahaha
Comment from nancy_e_davis
You are doing a great job with this detective mystery, Yvonne. I thought of Columbo when you gave us the description of
Lt. Peter Runyan.
"Handcuffs weren't really needed. A bread twist tie would have sufficed on those skinny wrists." That was a hoot! Very descriptive. Quite enjoyable! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
|
You are doing a great job with this detective mystery, Yvonne. I thought of Columbo when you gave us the description of
Lt. Peter Runyan.
"Handcuffs weren't really needed. A bread twist tie would have sufficed on those skinny wrists." That was a hoot! Very descriptive. Quite enjoyable! Nancy:)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
-
I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Thanks so much, Nancy.
Comment from lyenochka
But Sinclair is having such a good time and really enjoying working with his hands and having people who genuinely appreciate him. I hope he doesn't have to bail out Arabella. Maybe Littleman will come up with an alternative solution!
I was happy to see Buggles and Mrs. Kittle having a good celebration!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
|
But Sinclair is having such a good time and really enjoying working with his hands and having people who genuinely appreciate him. I hope he doesn't have to bail out Arabella. Maybe Littleman will come up with an alternative solution!
I was happy to see Buggles and Mrs. Kittle having a good celebration!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
-
Thank you for this wonderful review!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition to your post with us. It just gets more and more interesting. I enjoyed reading.
Wouldn't it be a hoot if they kept her while? (a while???)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
|
Thank you for sharing this addition to your post with us. It just gets more and more interesting. I enjoyed reading.
Wouldn't it be a hoot if they kept her while? (a while???)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
-
Ooops! I'll get that corrected. Thanks for reviewing. I swear I read over it four times before I posted it. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
-
I understand. When I edit, I read what it should say not what it actually says. LOL
Comment from royowen
I think Mrs Pickens-Smythe should learn to be a little more humble, lest some heavy handed police Lieutenant might arrest her, oops, someone did. An excellently written post Yvonne, I haven't seen one from you, but this is great, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : I'm charging (you) on suspicion
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
|
I think Mrs Pickens-Smythe should learn to be a little more humble, lest some heavy handed police Lieutenant might arrest her, oops, someone did. An excellently written post Yvonne, I haven't seen one from you, but this is great, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : I'm charging (you) on suspicion
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
-
Ooops! I'll correct that. Thanks, Roy. I swear I read over it four times before I posted it.
-
Well done
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This has great potential as a story. Unfortunately, it reads as a draft for the moment. There is a lot of discordance in the use of tenses, and people are too frequently referred to as he/she rather than naming names. This makes comprehenion difficult. I think the chapter would benefit from a careful polish to bring it up to five star rating standard. Kate xx
With her lack of concern > Given her lack of concern
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
 |
This has great potential as a story. Unfortunately, it reads as a draft for the moment. There is a lot of discordance in the use of tenses, and people are too frequently referred to as he/she rather than naming names. This makes comprehenion difficult. I think the chapter would benefit from a careful polish to bring it up to five star rating standard. Kate xx
With her lack of concern > Given her lack of concern
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
-
Thank you.
Comment from BethShelby
It would seem that her husband wouldn't care of she is jail. I can't imagine anyone wanting to be around her. Your description of her make her a person to be avoided. You're doing a wonderful job with this story. It holds my interest and is fun to read.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
|
It would seem that her husband wouldn't care of she is jail. I can't imagine anyone wanting to be around her. Your description of her make her a person to be avoided. You're doing a wonderful job with this story. It holds my interest and is fun to read.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2022
-
Thank you so much. Especially after the four I got in another review.
