Paved in Joy
That path to freedom is paved in joy28 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
AS I've often said, when it comes to poetry, I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. But even my simple mind can enjoy a poem about the possibilities of joy for everyone. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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AS I've often said, when it comes to poetry, I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. But even my simple mind can enjoy a poem about the possibilities of joy for everyone. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Ric - I now want to create a form called a sorbet. Must include fruity language, use ice-cold blue text, and sound nicer than it tastes!
Comment from Terry Broxson
I like this poem for this contest, good luck. Even without reading your note, I thought I got the meaning just fine. I am watching two four-story buildings going up just across from me in my condo complex, and these guys and girls (there are a few girls) are working in 100+ heat and seem happy and doing great work. Well-done! Terry.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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I like this poem for this contest, good luck. Even without reading your note, I thought I got the meaning just fine. I am watching two four-story buildings going up just across from me in my condo complex, and these guys and girls (there are a few girls) are working in 100+ heat and seem happy and doing great work. Well-done! Terry.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Terry - much appreciated :-). I only added the note because the first reviewer was flummoxed and requested an explanation, which made me worry others would too.
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem has unforced rhyme and imagery to tell us that no matter what trouble you have got the n life you can find joy in faith and helping others
Good luck in the contest. Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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This poem has unforced rhyme and imagery to tell us that no matter what trouble you have got the n life you can find joy in faith and helping others
Good luck in the contest. Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Joan - I'm really glad you liked it :-)
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No problem.
Jnan
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
I recently thought about this. As the roofers worked on my roof, I watched them closely. I was amazed at how hard they worked. As well as carrying all those heavy shingles up the ladder. Several of the kids were young, and my heart went out to them. Until we witness things around us, we don't realize how hard some people have it. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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I recently thought about this. As the roofers worked on my roof, I watched them closely. I was amazed at how hard they worked. As well as carrying all those heavy shingles up the ladder. Several of the kids were young, and my heart went out to them. Until we witness things around us, we don't realize how hard some people have it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). It is astonishing, how hard some people work. I wonder what it's like to be the plumber who puts a million pound bathroom set into a celebrity's house, knowing they'll never have a whole house worth that much.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting and well written rhyming acrostic poem you have done that is so full of truth. You used very good rhymes and very good words. Very good imagery from the art work you chose. Blessings, teri
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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This is a very interesting and well written rhyming acrostic poem you have done that is so full of truth. You used very good rhymes and very good words. Very good imagery from the art work you chose. Blessings, teri
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Teri :-)
Comment from Nic
I love the way that you were able to incorporate the required elements--the rhyme, the acrostic--with a nuanced and layered examination of a theme and still maintain strong images throughout this piece. I love the concrete description (availed of scraps they foraged from the floor is my favorite of these) and the metaphorical language (especially the bubbles popping in the bath). I have very little in the way of constructive criticism except that the use of all three POVs first, second, and third, seems to me to be at least one too many. Even just finding a way to get that last stanza to a collective first (we) like you have in the second to last one might do it. But I really did love the language you use in this!
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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I love the way that you were able to incorporate the required elements--the rhyme, the acrostic--with a nuanced and layered examination of a theme and still maintain strong images throughout this piece. I love the concrete description (availed of scraps they foraged from the floor is my favorite of these) and the metaphorical language (especially the bubbles popping in the bath). I have very little in the way of constructive criticism except that the use of all three POVs first, second, and third, seems to me to be at least one too many. Even just finding a way to get that last stanza to a collective first (we) like you have in the second to last one might do it. But I really did love the language you use in this!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Nic :-). I went into this confident and quickly realised it would be a larger challenge than I anticipated! I hadn't even thought about the perspectives, so huge thanks for pointing it out. I'll take a look and see what tweaks might work.
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Glad to help. I really did enjoy this so if you make any changes, I'd love a chance to take another look!
Comment from Boogienights
Your poem is well written and I agree with what you say about joy being found no matter what situation you're in. Possessions and wealth help make for an easier life, but it's family and love that are most important. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Your poem is well written and I agree with what you say about joy being found no matter what situation you're in. Possessions and wealth help make for an easier life, but it's family and love that are most important. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review - I'm really glad you liked it :-)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I enjoyed reading and agree. The worker bees don't get any recognition for what they do. Only the rich. I do hope that changes someday.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I enjoyed reading and agree. The worker bees don't get any recognition for what they do. Only the rich. I do hope that changes someday.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Barbara :-). I'm so glad you liked it!
Mike
Comment from leather
This poem is on the long side for an acrostic poem and must have taken a considerable effort to organize and write. Very ambitious. The only thing that gave me pause was the word "soaking" in the last line.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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This poem is on the long side for an acrostic poem and must have taken a considerable effort to organize and write. Very ambitious. The only thing that gave me pause was the word "soaking" in the last line.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). I'm dithering on that line - so far two have singled it out as weaker, and two have said it's their favourite!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
It took me awhile to understand why you went out on a limb, saw in hand, using words that seemingly did not fit as well as their definitions might until I saw the need for words as myopic to make your acrostic writing.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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It took me awhile to understand why you went out on a limb, saw in hand, using words that seemingly did not fit as well as their definitions might until I saw the need for words as myopic to make your acrostic writing.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Tom - really glad you liked it :-)
