The Sperm Donor, Linda's Story
Part III of IV27 total reviews
Comment from John Ciarmello
Okay, now I'm caught up! I have to say you're doing well for not being a fiction writer, as you say. If I had anything at all to critique, I would say, don't push the narrative too much and give your characters a little more to do action-wise as long as it moves the story forward. That's all I have to say, my friend. I'm not an authority. Loved it! Best JohnC
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Okay, now I'm caught up! I have to say you're doing well for not being a fiction writer, as you say. If I had anything at all to critique, I would say, don't push the narrative too much and give your characters a little more to do action-wise as long as it moves the story forward. That's all I have to say, my friend. I'm not an authority. Loved it! Best JohnC
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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John, thank you for the good input, I am very much in the learning phase. Terry.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a great chapter to your mini-novel once it gets going. You've avoided too much repetition by calling the grim reaper in, and the link to what is going to come is a real teaser. However, the first 3 or 4 paragraphs have a bit too much background that would have been better placed in chapter one or two - I advise you leave it for now, or no one will read this info. Then when you've finished you can revise looking carefully at the storyline of the whole. Kate xx
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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This is a great chapter to your mini-novel once it gets going. You've avoided too much repetition by calling the grim reaper in, and the link to what is going to come is a real teaser. However, the first 3 or 4 paragraphs have a bit too much background that would have been better placed in chapter one or two - I advise you leave it for now, or no one will read this info. Then when you've finished you can revise looking carefully at the storyline of the whole. Kate xx
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Kate, you make a really good point, I plan to do exactly as you suggest when it runs it course. The last episode will post on Friday. Thanks, Terry.
Comment from papa55mike
Now, what's he going to do? He has his answers. That's an interesting storyline. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with the rest of this project!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Now, what's he going to do? He has his answers. That's an interesting storyline. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with the rest of this project!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Mike, thank you for the six stars!! I am delighted you are enjoying it. The conclusion will be posted on Friday.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It seems that Susan used Sam's sperm to have a child because she could never have one with her partner. It happens a lot now. How will Sam take this? If he took on the case, I doubt he is prejudiced against same sex marriage. So now he must find out what his son is doing. Is he married, and does he have children? We will find out in the next part! It was so sad that Linda and Sam's son died so young. Excellent chapter, my friend, I really enjoyed reading it. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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It seems that Susan used Sam's sperm to have a child because she could never have one with her partner. It happens a lot now. How will Sam take this? If he took on the case, I doubt he is prejudiced against same sex marriage. So now he must find out what his son is doing. Is he married, and does he have children? We will find out in the next part! It was so sad that Linda and Sam's son died so young. Excellent chapter, my friend, I really enjoyed reading it. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Sandra, thank you the conclusion will post on Friday. Terry.
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I'll be looking for it! xx
Comment from nomi338
It must be awfully nice to be able to bestow instant wealth upon someone who is alive because of your sperm donations. This is paying back or forward in a very large way. The ability to affect people's lives in this way can be either a blessing or a curse. Becoming suddenly wealthy brings with it a whole new set of problems that not all are capable of handling. This is a very interesting subject that you are delving into, I am very curious as to how you will develop the outcome. Good luck.
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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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It must be awfully nice to be able to bestow instant wealth upon someone who is alive because of your sperm donations. This is paying back or forward in a very large way. The ability to affect people's lives in this way can be either a blessing or a curse. Becoming suddenly wealthy brings with it a whole new set of problems that not all are capable of handling. This is a very interesting subject that you are delving into, I am very curious as to how you will develop the outcome. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Thank you, sir! The conclusion will post on Friday, Terry.
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I anxiously await.
Comment from jessizero
I enjoyed reading this latest installment in the sperm donor series. I was surprised over and over. You captured and kept my interest throughout the entire story. I'm looking forward to reading the next one!
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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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I enjoyed reading this latest installment in the sperm donor series. I was surprised over and over. You captured and kept my interest throughout the entire story. I'm looking forward to reading the next one!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Jessi, thank you, the conclusion will post on Friday.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love this! Being in a same-sex marriage has been legal for what seems like a long time! I am all for it! I think we ought to live and let live and not be so judgmental of others.
Thank you for introducing a character affected by a marriage like the one in your story. There needs to be a universal openness to those who live differently than what we have come to expect.
Thanks for letting me get up on my high horse and speak about this issue.
Jesse
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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I love this! Being in a same-sex marriage has been legal for what seems like a long time! I am all for it! I think we ought to live and let live and not be so judgmental of others.
Thank you for introducing a character affected by a marriage like the one in your story. There needs to be a universal openness to those who live differently than what we have come to expect.
Thanks for letting me get up on my high horse and speak about this issue.
Jesse
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2022
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Jesse, thank very much for the six stars!!! The conclusion will post on Friday. Terry.
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Sounds good!
Jesse
