Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "Could a smile?"Musings of an old man - 2022
31 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A smile can indeed mend someone's soul and bring some positivity to their heart, a fine write and I enjoyed the sentiments here, too many wear a frown these days, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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A smile can indeed mend someone's soul and bring some positivity to their heart, a fine write and I enjoyed the sentiments here, too many wear a frown these days, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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we must carry hope and prayer in our hearts for all people seen and unseen who suffer worldwide - always have a smile to give away it costs us nothing. Thanks for your supportive comments.
Comment from Bill Schott
This double refrain kyrielle poem, Could a Smile?, has the proper formatting and asks if we are concerned enough to move beyond smilig and becoming a helping hand.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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This double refrain kyrielle poem, Could a Smile?, has the proper formatting and asks if we are concerned enough to move beyond smilig and becoming a helping hand.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thanks Bill!
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I wish you well in the contest with this entry. It spotlights the suffering of the homeless in this well-written entry.
It is so sad that many blame the downtrodden for wanting to be in that situation only if they would pull themselves up by the bootstraps! They ignore poverty, mental illness and substance abuse as the root causes. With a minimum wage that is too low to sustain a decent home and limited resources provided for healthcare.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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I wish you well in the contest with this entry. It spotlights the suffering of the homeless in this well-written entry.
It is so sad that many blame the downtrodden for wanting to be in that situation only if they would pull themselves up by the bootstraps! They ignore poverty, mental illness and substance abuse as the root causes. With a minimum wage that is too low to sustain a decent home and limited resources provided for healthcare.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Mary, we must carry hope and prayer in our hearts for all people seen and unseen who suffer worldwide - a always have a smile to give away it costs us nothing. We must ignite the hearts and minds of world leaders to effect change.
Comment from Frank Malley
"Could a Smile" uses a repetitive form of lining and rhyming that's unfamiliar to me. However, this poem (with the assistance of its photo, which almost always clarifies poetic intentions, sometimes so prodigiously that the art presented is more about the photo than the words) is interested in addressing human suffering, an endlessly important topic. While specific images of suffering are chosen in this poem, these choices could have included more individual and concrete features of suffering people and the poem would have been better. Nonetheless, its title and question - one and the same - give this poem a magnitude of relevance that lifts it to a 5.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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"Could a Smile" uses a repetitive form of lining and rhyming that's unfamiliar to me. However, this poem (with the assistance of its photo, which almost always clarifies poetic intentions, sometimes so prodigiously that the art presented is more about the photo than the words) is interested in addressing human suffering, an endlessly important topic. While specific images of suffering are chosen in this poem, these choices could have included more individual and concrete features of suffering people and the poem would have been better. Nonetheless, its title and question - one and the same - give this poem a magnitude of relevance that lifts it to a 5.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you Frank, I used every source I had at my fingertips to find her ... to no avail. I do agree 100% this image does distract from the homily of this that I intended. Best back to you always! Jim
Comment from Fleedleflump
You do a great job of mixing commentary with snippets of specific scenarios so we get detail and broader observation. I very much enjoyed this one.
Mike
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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You do a great job of mixing commentary with snippets of specific scenarios so we get detail and broader observation. I very much enjoyed this one.
Mike
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Mike, thanks for the nod of support! Jim
Comment from Aussie
Does a wealthy superpower give a damn? Sooner spend billions on a rocket into space. No, it is the middle- man who sees the pain and suffering. Judge not lest ye be judged, I say it could be you sitting in the gutter. Saying this to the well-heeled that walk on by. The smile they give would be a forced grimace. Your words were well written - sadly. "Give a man a fish, feed him for the day. Teach him how to fish and he will never be hungry again. Australians are living in tents/cars and campbeds. We try to care for them.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Does a wealthy superpower give a damn? Sooner spend billions on a rocket into space. No, it is the middle- man who sees the pain and suffering. Judge not lest ye be judged, I say it could be you sitting in the gutter. Saying this to the well-heeled that walk on by. The smile they give would be a forced grimace. Your words were well written - sadly. "Give a man a fish, feed him for the day. Teach him how to fish and he will never be hungry again. Australians are living in tents/cars and campbeds. We try to care for them.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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I so value your sentiment! We all walk around with cell phone cameras to capture a live video to sell for the sizzle, but we fail to see the tragic lives of people who are suffering. Judgment day cometh and the real Super Power will right all the wrongs. So as you say until that time, we try to offer care when and where possible.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi JLR,
I love the sentiment within the poem... and the refrain drives home the heartache felt.
I know one cannot always find the perfect match when trying to pair an image with words to poem... and for me, what stuck out was the reference to 'she'... that verse held all the hard-hitting emotion. So it is there I would have chosen my image to accompany the words.
She slumped forward, her body failed. Even the winos around a fire... but not one mention of a man in a train station seeking human kindness holding a sign?
But yes, I agree a smile can change so much in anyone's life... but could it change a heartbreak?
An extremely hard form to make work... I wouldn't even attempt this double refrain Kyrielle... but as I said, I love the sentiment attached, and applaud you for a great attempt at the pulling of heartstrings.
With our thoughts we create...
a caring heart.
Kind regards,
James.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Hi JLR,
I love the sentiment within the poem... and the refrain drives home the heartache felt.
I know one cannot always find the perfect match when trying to pair an image with words to poem... and for me, what stuck out was the reference to 'she'... that verse held all the hard-hitting emotion. So it is there I would have chosen my image to accompany the words.
She slumped forward, her body failed. Even the winos around a fire... but not one mention of a man in a train station seeking human kindness holding a sign?
But yes, I agree a smile can change so much in anyone's life... but could it change a heartbreak?
An extremely hard form to make work... I wouldn't even attempt this double refrain Kyrielle... but as I said, I love the sentiment attached, and applaud you for a great attempt at the pulling of heartstrings.
With our thoughts we create...
a caring heart.
Kind regards,
James.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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James thank you, point well taken.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
A very powerful entry for this contest about homelessness. So many of us ignore the suffering all around us, or blame the homeless for being homeless not wanting to address the housing crisis, the growing inequality and realizing the wisdom of the old adage, "there but for the grace of God go I." and right wing figures are calling for people to shoot the homeless!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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A very powerful entry for this contest about homelessness. So many of us ignore the suffering all around us, or blame the homeless for being homeless not wanting to address the housing crisis, the growing inequality and realizing the wisdom of the old adage, "there but for the grace of God go I." and right wing figures are calling for people to shoot the homeless!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Jake thanks for sharing your sentiment ...Judgment day cometh and the real Super Power will right all the wrongs. So as you say until that time, we try to offer care when and where possible.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written Double Refrain Kyrielle poem you have penned for the potlatch poetry contest. You used very good descriptive words from the heart with very nice imagery that goes well with your words. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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This is a very well written Double Refrain Kyrielle poem you have penned for the potlatch poetry contest. You used very good descriptive words from the heart with very nice imagery that goes well with your words. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Teri thank you! 🙏🙏
Comment from Tina Crute
At the end of your poem I was disappointed because you offered no answer to your question. Then I read your author notes! Thanks for sharing that idea. My hubby and started making toiletry bags for the homeless and Rescue Mission. It started because I, myself, felt convicted for years of seeing opportunities and not following my heart to love on the homeless.
Momma used to say, "Therefore, by the grace of God, there go I."
This is meaningful. You pretty much defined love as an action, not just a feeling.
Tina
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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At the end of your poem I was disappointed because you offered no answer to your question. Then I read your author notes! Thanks for sharing that idea. My hubby and started making toiletry bags for the homeless and Rescue Mission. It started because I, myself, felt convicted for years of seeing opportunities and not following my heart to love on the homeless.
Momma used to say, "Therefore, by the grace of God, there go I."
This is meaningful. You pretty much defined love as an action, not just a feeling.
Tina
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Tina, you and your husband are the one percenters! You therefore are a blessing to humanity and I am the one who thanks you!
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If we don't serve others, what good are we? I didn't always feel that way, but God showed me the error of my sinful and selfish ways! Nice to meet a fellow compassionate person on here:)
