Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "Could a smile?"Musings of an old man - 2022
31 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
One person can't fix the homeless issue. However, each of us
can be more tolerant of it. As you said, JLR, a smile does wonders.
It may be the only recognition a homeless person receives for the
day that lets them know they are still part of the human race. Your
club poem read well with good flow and rhymes and a great and
true message. Good job with your repeated meaningful lines.
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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One person can't fix the homeless issue. However, each of us
can be more tolerant of it. As you said, JLR, a smile does wonders.
It may be the only recognition a homeless person receives for the
day that lets them know they are still part of the human race. Your
club poem read well with good flow and rhymes and a great and
true message. Good job with your repeated meaningful lines.
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Jan, I thank you so much! Judgment day cometh and the real Super Power will right all the wrongs. So as you say until that time, we try to offer care when and where possible a knowing smile that they are seen..
Comment from dragonpoet
Jim,
This is a compassionate poem about the power of a smile to the homeless person. If we could all just act kindly towards them in a single moment maybe their live's would be more hopeful.
This is a good entry for the double refrain kyrielle potlatch
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Jim,
This is a compassionate poem about the power of a smile to the homeless person. If we could all just act kindly towards them in a single moment maybe their live's would be more hopeful.
This is a good entry for the double refrain kyrielle potlatch
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Joan, thank you.
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No problem, Jim.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Love this double refrain poem. Those repeated lines drive home the intended message that we must be kind to those down on their luck. The photo fits perfectly. I notice you have a faint white shadow around the text. Suggestion: Making the entire background black and the text white. This will make the presentation more striking/stark.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Love this double refrain poem. Those repeated lines drive home the intended message that we must be kind to those down on their luck. The photo fits perfectly. I notice you have a faint white shadow around the text. Suggestion: Making the entire background black and the text white. This will make the presentation more striking/stark.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Sandrs, thank you very much!
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You are welcome.
Comment from Boogienights
I believe in the power of a smile to brighten someone's day, it shows that another person cares enough to notice them. I know it always makes me feel better. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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I believe in the power of a smile to brighten someone's day, it shows that another person cares enough to notice them. I know it always makes me feel better. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Boogienights, I appreciate your review and validation.
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with your double kyrielle, Jim! I especially liked your second repeated line "Could a smile change one soul's heartbreak?" This question urges the reader to affirm the humanity of all people.
Wino's around the fire huddled (Winos) seems like the plural here
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Great job with your double kyrielle, Jim! I especially liked your second repeated line "Could a smile change one soul's heartbreak?" This question urges the reader to affirm the humanity of all people.
Wino's around the fire huddled (Winos) seems like the plural here
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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thank you so much for your review and support!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I live in a tourist town full of homeless and too many times I have passed someone by without so much as a hello. I'm trying to do better, to find the nerve to speak and to ask if they need help.
This is a beautifully written poem, a subject we need to address more often, and the answer to your refrain is probably yes. They must feel like they are invisible.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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I live in a tourist town full of homeless and too many times I have passed someone by without so much as a hello. I'm trying to do better, to find the nerve to speak and to ask if they need help.
This is a beautifully written poem, a subject we need to address more often, and the answer to your refrain is probably yes. They must feel like they are invisible.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Hi Pam, I feel that we all have that feeling of ill preparation to assist the downtrodden, perhaps feeling a sense of not being able to do enough prevents us from engaging. But we can offer a smile --just to let them know they are not invisible. Be well!
Comment from prettybluebirds
The artwork you chose is perfect for the subject of your writing. I do believe a smile can make a person's day brighter no matter who they are. Your poem is written engagingly. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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The artwork you chose is perfect for the subject of your writing. I do believe a smile can make a person's day brighter no matter who they are. Your poem is written engagingly. Nicely done.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Thank you for sharing your comments! Smile ... 🤗🤗🙏🙏
Comment from royowen
Beautifully written Jim, such a worthwhile theme to write, anyone of us are not far away, I had an experience were I slept in the car for a few days when young, fortunately I had a job, but yeh I feel for them, this is beautifully written Jim, good job, I can remember when you going to stick to what you knew best, beautifully writtem great rhyming, articulation and flow, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Beautifully written Jim, such a worthwhile theme to write, anyone of us are not far away, I had an experience were I slept in the car for a few days when young, fortunately I had a job, but yeh I feel for them, this is beautifully written Jim, good job, I can remember when you going to stick to what you knew best, beautifully writtem great rhyming, articulation and flow, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Thank you, friend! I had a rough patch or two when I was struggling while in college - some things we never forget.
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That?s right
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This is a lovely and heartfelt write about a section of society who often feels forgotten or ignored.
The power of a smile should not be underrated.
Thanks for sharing.
Erika
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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This is a lovely and heartfelt write about a section of society who often feels forgotten or ignored.
The power of a smile should not be underrated.
Thanks for sharing.
Erika
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Erika, yes and thank you!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi JLR,
I enjoyed your Kyrielle poem. The repeated lines are effective in getting the point across, "Woe to the looker with no heart."
I wrote three poems with similar themes a while back. These instances occurred in the city of Saint John.
One was about a prostitute we came across on King Street. It was just before Christmas, and she was cold, shivering in her short dress, begging her pimp to let her go inside a coffee shop to get warm. He refused, of course. Time wasted.
Another time, my wife and I were having breakfast in a busy uptown restaurant. This bag lady came in and sat down at a large table, all by herself. She was talking to herself, glancing around. Eventually, she ordered a tea and toast. But the funniest thing happened... she started talking to invisible people at her table. She'd cackle in laughter, and slap her leg in reaction to the one-way conversation. Were there ghosts there that only she could see?
A third poem I wrote was (again) at Christmastime. I was shopping and noticed this young fellow carrying a hockey bag. But there was no hockey stick. As I studied him, he was searching inside the bag for something... money, perhaps? I had the idea he wanted to get something to eat. There were several fast food spots in the area of the mall. But I don't think he had enough dough. And I only had my debit card. I decided to get some cash from my bank account, but when I returned, he was gone. I looked through the crowds, but didn't see him. I continued with my shopping, and moseyed toward the City Market. Well, there he was, sitting on his hockey bag at the doorway, playing a Christmas song on a flute. People were tossing coins in his hat. I reached in my pocket...
You're so right. We need to be kinder to people in need. It just might save a life.
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Hi JLR,
I enjoyed your Kyrielle poem. The repeated lines are effective in getting the point across, "Woe to the looker with no heart."
I wrote three poems with similar themes a while back. These instances occurred in the city of Saint John.
One was about a prostitute we came across on King Street. It was just before Christmas, and she was cold, shivering in her short dress, begging her pimp to let her go inside a coffee shop to get warm. He refused, of course. Time wasted.
Another time, my wife and I were having breakfast in a busy uptown restaurant. This bag lady came in and sat down at a large table, all by herself. She was talking to herself, glancing around. Eventually, she ordered a tea and toast. But the funniest thing happened... she started talking to invisible people at her table. She'd cackle in laughter, and slap her leg in reaction to the one-way conversation. Were there ghosts there that only she could see?
A third poem I wrote was (again) at Christmastime. I was shopping and noticed this young fellow carrying a hockey bag. But there was no hockey stick. As I studied him, he was searching inside the bag for something... money, perhaps? I had the idea he wanted to get something to eat. There were several fast food spots in the area of the mall. But I don't think he had enough dough. And I only had my debit card. I decided to get some cash from my bank account, but when I returned, he was gone. I looked through the crowds, but didn't see him. I continued with my shopping, and moseyed toward the City Market. Well, there he was, sitting on his hockey bag at the doorway, playing a Christmas song on a flute. People were tossing coins in his hat. I reached in my pocket...
You're so right. We need to be kinder to people in need. It just might save a life.
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Kimbob, thanks for your sharing your experiences, we all could fall into such a pit at the flip of a switch ... I delight in knowing another person who sees with their eyes - thank you!
