Woodland Witchery
A medieval tale of obsession.13 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Lisa,
Well done loop poem about magic used for the wrong reason. He may not love her, but she is obsessed by him. This really isn't love either. Though, she doesn't see it that way. She is ruining the lives of both himself and his family.
Congrats for the honorable mention in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
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Lisa,
Well done loop poem about magic used for the wrong reason. He may not love her, but she is obsessed by him. This really isn't love either. Though, she doesn't see it that way. She is ruining the lives of both himself and his family.
Congrats for the honorable mention in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
Comment from Michele Harber
Wow! I can't believe you just told a full story in Loop version. That was difficult, but you did it very well.
I particularly liked the last two verses, as you found many ways to use the repeated words that didn't make it sound as though you were merely repeating words. I'm not implying that the other verses didn't work well, but the last two made the most organic use of the looped words.
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Wow! I can't believe you just told a full story in Loop version. That was difficult, but you did it very well.
I particularly liked the last two verses, as you found many ways to use the repeated words that didn't make it sound as though you were merely repeating words. I'm not implying that the other verses didn't work well, but the last two made the most organic use of the looped words.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Obsession, she has her claws embedded deep. And no one can stand being smothered. Some people will lie about someone having wandering eyes. Which cause much trouble and heartache. If someone wants to cheat, they will and does not care what others think. Thank you for sharing the great awareness.
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Obsession, she has her claws embedded deep. And no one can stand being smothered. Some people will lie about someone having wandering eyes. Which cause much trouble and heartache. If someone wants to cheat, they will and does not care what others think. Thank you for sharing the great awareness.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
Comment from Mia Twysted
Wonderful poem. The ways the words looped around on each other made me dizzy, which I thought was a great effect. Then, to take in the story. A witch taking what she wants despite what others may feel. He may be tied to her, but she will never get his love.
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Wonderful poem. The ways the words looped around on each other made me dizzy, which I thought was a great effect. Then, to take in the story. A witch taking what she wants despite what others may feel. He may be tied to her, but she will never get his love.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story is imaginative and bewitching. It includes suspense, obsession, cruelty, fear, drama, and ultimate death. Wow! All of this within a loop poem. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
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This story is imaginative and bewitching. It includes suspense, obsession, cruelty, fear, drama, and ultimate death. Wow! All of this within a loop poem. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
Comment from Pantygynt
One of the features of pre Chaucerian English poetry was concatenation. In graphic art it appears as a circular design of beasts, often mythical in which each beast has the tail of the one ahead in its mouth, ultimately creating an unbroken circle. In literature this is represented as you have done here, by the last word in a line, stanza or paragraph being repeated as the first of the next.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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One of the features of pre Chaucerian English poetry was concatenation. In graphic art it appears as a circular design of beasts, often mythical in which each beast has the tail of the one ahead in its mouth, ultimately creating an unbroken circle. In literature this is represented as you have done here, by the last word in a line, stanza or paragraph being repeated as the first of the next.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Ah yes... interconnections. I guess ideally the last word should link back to the beginning word. I would usually do that in a loop poem but I noticed no-one else ever bothered and as I am short of time these days I decided not to.
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The standard medieval form was to chain the the last to the first though in the longer poems such as 'Pearl', by the Gawain poet, the concatenation chains the sections of the poem, rather than each line.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm sorry for the youth that is bound to someone that he might not be attracted to as much as she is to him. But you told the tale with this very difficult rhyming loop. Hope this does well in the contest!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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I'm sorry for the youth that is bound to someone that he might not be attracted to as much as she is to him. But you told the tale with this very difficult rhyming loop. Hope this does well in the contest!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your review and pump. I'm not quite sure how I got onto writing about an obsessive older woman capturing a younger man - I hope it's not about me! I began by writing about an acrobatic aeroplane doing loops, but this dark tale took over. Strange how imagination works.
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Lol! What have you been reading? Certainly, there are tales like this in myths and folk tales.
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Unfortunately, I haven't had time to do any recreational reading for a while. The most recent book I read was about the Platypus and the impact of its discovery, and the early scientific dilemmas of how to classify it... and whether in fact it was real or a hoax.
I used to read a lot of myths and folk tales when I was young, but adult reading has mostly been non-fiction. Fantasy and sci-fi (as you know) are not genres I seek out.
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I remember! But I view sci-fi as a means of spoon-feeding science facts with a story. The sci-fi I used to read was more allegory and commentary on society that took place elsewhere.
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You did that very well with your space story.
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Thank you! 💞
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Truthfully, I had to look at just what makes a loop poem, and I find that in doing so requires skill, and to be able also to write a well-written story at the same time shows exceptional talent. I love that you gave it a medieval storyline to make it even more unique.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Truthfully, I had to look at just what makes a loop poem, and I find that in doing so requires skill, and to be able also to write a well-written story at the same time shows exceptional talent. I love that you gave it a medieval storyline to make it even more unique.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your lovely comments Mary. It feels quite difficult to write a loop poem without that repetition sounding somewhat unnatural.
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent Loop poem, your usual highly efficient and innovative work. In elderly archaic language in abcb rhyming, and such a most imaginative and skilfully written post Jenny, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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This is an excellent Loop poem, your usual highly efficient and innovative work. In elderly archaic language in abcb rhyming, and such a most imaginative and skilfully written post Jenny, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your nice comments Roy.
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Most welcome
Comment from cat frenette
This is beautiful LisaMay!
I love the imagery, and the storyline, the desperation in trying to keep her youthful lover for herself alone. This poem is timeless, and the picture you chose is perfect for it as well. Well done!
I was looking for the final line to loop back to the opening line, but it was not a requirement, just a personal observation.
I love your writing.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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This is beautiful LisaMay!
I love the imagery, and the storyline, the desperation in trying to keep her youthful lover for herself alone. This poem is timeless, and the picture you chose is perfect for it as well. Well done!
I was looking for the final line to loop back to the opening line, but it was not a requirement, just a personal observation.
I love your writing.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your kind words. Whenever I've written a loop poem in the past, I have strived to make the final word in the last stanza loop back to the opening line, but I noticed that nobody else ever did in their poems, so I decided to spare myself the extra effort.
