haiku (lonely chickadee)
A Haiku for the club challenge15 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Aha! I love this! One of the most original and sweetest haiku I've read on FanStory. Indeed, the little chickadee 'chickens out' -- I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry for the lonely fella, yet that speaks volumes to the imagery evoked. (Not merely mental pictures, but such emotion as well!)
Your kire is perfect, the images are concrete and the kigo implied, but it is the satori that is the crown of this jewel, IMO. I SO enjoyed this -- I'll be smiling all day!
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Aha! I love this! One of the most original and sweetest haiku I've read on FanStory. Indeed, the little chickadee 'chickens out' -- I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry for the lonely fella, yet that speaks volumes to the imagery evoked. (Not merely mental pictures, but such emotion as well!)
Your kire is perfect, the images are concrete and the kigo implied, but it is the satori that is the crown of this jewel, IMO. I SO enjoyed this -- I'll be smiling all day!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful and encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Kahpot,
I really like this bird Haiku.
A sweet picture and a nice combination of 11 words.
You write lovely haiku's.
Nice club entry.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Kahpot,
I really like this bird Haiku.
A sweet picture and a nice combination of 11 words.
You write lovely haiku's.
Nice club entry.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Thank you so very much, your encouragement and inspiring comments are so very much appreciated I tried to award you a reviewer's vote but apparently I have already done so this month. your encouraging comments are very much appreciated always****kahpot
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You?re welcome, Kahpot😊
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a good ekphrastic poem for the haiku club event for birds. I am surprised a chickatee that is so small can handle the winter/mountain snow. I guess it'll do anything for love.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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This is a good ekphrastic poem for the haiku club event for birds. I am surprised a chickatee that is so small can handle the winter/mountain snow. I guess it'll do anything for love.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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My pleasure, Kahpot.
Joa
Comment from Mark D. R.
You created a nice verse for this Bird Haiku club entry.
You painted a most descriptive image in your first two lines. While the image (very nice!) appears to be a snow scene, the last line is not as strong. Not quite sure the (winter) sun never 'shines.' A 5-syllable alternative might be akin to: sun dims in winter or ???
Mark
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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You created a nice verse for this Bird Haiku club entry.
You painted a most descriptive image in your first two lines. While the image (very nice!) appears to be a snow scene, the last line is not as strong. Not quite sure the (winter) sun never 'shines.' A 5-syllable alternative might be akin to: sun dims in winter or ???
Mark
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you Mark, your suggestion is great I shall see what I can do, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and presentation, kahpot.
-You wrote a very good haiku with
effective nature and seasonal imagery.
-You paint a good word picture of
the chickadee and the winter scene.
-A good satori line.
-The mood of the poem is good
because it goes along with the premise
of the lonely chickadee.
-We have a lot of songbirds at our feeder,
and the chickadee is actually a very
cute and funny bird, at times.
-You did a good job with your haiku!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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-Very nice image and presentation, kahpot.
-You wrote a very good haiku with
effective nature and seasonal imagery.
-You paint a good word picture of
the chickadee and the winter scene.
-A good satori line.
-The mood of the poem is good
because it goes along with the premise
of the lonely chickadee.
-We have a lot of songbirds at our feeder,
and the chickadee is actually a very
cute and funny bird, at times.
-You did a good job with your haiku!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Pam, it must be wonderful to listen to all those birds every day, your comments are so encouraging, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are very welcome, kahpot. It is wonderful. We had a gray catbird that nested in our rhododendron and had two chicks. That was amazing. They are really funny birds. I'll see if I can send you a link to all of their "conversations!"
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Thank you very much I would love that****kahpot
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You are welcome!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Birds have this remarkable ability to be positive even when suffering the hardships of winter and they give us lots of hope as they are always looking for love, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Birds have this remarkable ability to be positive even when suffering the hardships of winter and they give us lots of hope as they are always looking for love, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Yes they do, Thank you for these wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a well-written haiku. The syllable count is on point. The font is large and easy to read. The visual fits perfectly. This is just a well-done entry. Good luck!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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This is a well-written haiku. The syllable count is on point. The font is large and easy to read. The visual fits perfectly. This is just a well-done entry. Good luck!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and review, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are welcome.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is an interesting piece, Kahpot. I love the photo and the metaphoric message, but I hope the recipient finds their love someday. Thanks for sharing. Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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This is an interesting piece, Kahpot. I love the photo and the metaphoric message, but I hope the recipient finds their love someday. Thanks for sharing. Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thank you JohnC. yes I just went with the photo for this challenge, trying to improve my haiku, love is always there we just have to be open, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are sweet, filled with compassion, sad, descriptive
and creative. I found these words heartfelt and they made me think of nature. And how for some wild life it can be lonely. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is precious and compliment this poem.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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The author's words are sweet, filled with compassion, sad, descriptive
and creative. I found these words heartfelt and they made me think of nature. And how for some wild life it can be lonely. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is precious and compliment this poem.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful and encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Kym,
Awesome entry for the Haiku Club Event. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Well done, kym, I'm proud of you.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." -- Atticus
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Hello, Kym,
Awesome entry for the Haiku Club Event. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Well done, kym, I'm proud of you.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." -- Atticus
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much, I felt sorry for this little bird in your picture, so just went with it, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
