Expressing Myself
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Dream Light"Writing my way out of depression / mental illness
7 total reviews
Comment from Marienkiefer
This is an interesting concept, modelling from clay to form the core and very essence of a person. Then reshaping the clay to rejuvenate and reawaken. These are the images brought to my mind from your poem.
-Sparkling in your poem is personality and movement, and the character you sculpt through your words, the silence of rain, reawakening.
Very enjoyable poem.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This is an interesting concept, modelling from clay to form the core and very essence of a person. Then reshaping the clay to rejuvenate and reawaken. These are the images brought to my mind from your poem.
-Sparkling in your poem is personality and movement, and the character you sculpt through your words, the silence of rain, reawakening.
Very enjoyable poem.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much for your insightful review!
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a nicely written poem. It has a nice flow and rhyme. Nice font choice as well. Memories that formed the clayAlthough impossible to do
Will them all to melt away
and live the bliss that I once knew. Beautiful job.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This is a nicely written poem. It has a nice flow and rhyme. Nice font choice as well. Memories that formed the clayAlthough impossible to do
Will them all to melt away
and live the bliss that I once knew. Beautiful job.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Susan Newell
I really like your poem, particularly the opening lines. It is hard to lose innocence, and it can never be reclaimed, but we can be "born again" in many different ways. That hardened clay can be carefully softened again. I'm trying to steer clear of making this sound preachy, but a metaphorical baptism of sorts can make clay malleable again, and you can reshape yourself. I don't know how long ago you wrote this, but I hope you have moved beyond this perspective and have found reasons for joy. Very nice.
Sue
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I really like your poem, particularly the opening lines. It is hard to lose innocence, and it can never be reclaimed, but we can be "born again" in many different ways. That hardened clay can be carefully softened again. I'm trying to steer clear of making this sound preachy, but a metaphorical baptism of sorts can make clay malleable again, and you can reshape yourself. I don't know how long ago you wrote this, but I hope you have moved beyond this perspective and have found reasons for joy. Very nice.
Sue
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your insightful review!
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You are very wecome.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Playing Around
I like the rhyming in your sad poem.
I like the question you asked was a good ending for your poem.
I believe that you will live the bliss that you once knew.
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hello Playing Around
I like the rhyming in your sad poem.
I like the question you asked was a good ending for your poem.
I believe that you will live the bliss that you once knew.
Gert
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Playinaround a marvelous Monday to you, I hope this finds you well. I really enjoyed your poem, it was beautifully worded and full of deep thought. Great job!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hello Playinaround a marvelous Monday to you, I hope this finds you well. I really enjoyed your poem, it was beautifully worded and full of deep thought. Great job!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Fleedleflump
I think we all sometimes find ourselves in a place where we wish there was a way to regress, to return to a time and/or place when things were happier, or at least simpler. I thought your poem was beautiful.
Mike
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I think we all sometimes find ourselves in a place where we wish there was a way to regress, to return to a time and/or place when things were happier, or at least simpler. I thought your poem was beautiful.
Mike
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Carlos' girl
Sad but beautiful poem. Not entirel sad though. Author expresses desire to be happy again. The title had me think of the Ed Sheeran song "Shape of You". I would change it for that reason
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Sad but beautiful poem. Not entirel sad though. Author expresses desire to be happy again. The title had me think of the Ed Sheeran song "Shape of You". I would change it for that reason
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
