Where?
Who knows...8 total reviews
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Beautiful poem for the prompt entry. I loved the language of "where will I be a tear from now." Beautiful phrase. the poem shows the uncertainty about the future for someone who is just coming of age and moving into the "real" world. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Beautiful poem for the prompt entry. I loved the language of "where will I be a tear from now." Beautiful phrase. the poem shows the uncertainty about the future for someone who is just coming of age and moving into the "real" world. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thanks for reading. I was 16 and troubled when I wrote that, so it's very real. Thanks again. :)
Comment from Susan Newell
BN,
I like the wistful nature of this. We all wonder what tomorrow will bring, and as some of us age, that future gets fuzzier and fuzzier. We all deserve that happiness and contentment of being in the right place (emotionally, mentally, physically) at the right time.
Sue
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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BN,
I like the wistful nature of this. We all wonder what tomorrow will bring, and as some of us age, that future gets fuzzier and fuzzier. We all deserve that happiness and contentment of being in the right place (emotionally, mentally, physically) at the right time.
Sue
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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You are right of course. Thank you so much for this great review. :)
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You are very welcome.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
You state an age-old question; what will the future bring? If only we knew. How would we change our ways? What would we do differently?
You pose a very thought-provoking question.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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You state an age-old question; what will the future bring? If only we knew. How would we change our ways? What would we do differently?
You pose a very thought-provoking question.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thank you, I appreciate you reading my poem and for this nice review. :)
Comment from robyn corum
BN,
Hmmm... There's so much here to ponder. From the questions posed, you make ME start asking questions. *smile* I always wonder about your age and wonder if you're a lot younger than me -- your posts are always so young and youthful. I enjoy them soooo much!
BUT - this post has a different tone entirely. It sounds a bit older. It also seems to question the decisions you've made in life and where they've taken you. (Which I might disagree with, btw.) The second stanza makes it sound like there's a question whether your position with love is safe - which bothers me a LOT. I don't like to consider that you might have to worry on the daily whether the loves in your life might evaporate...
In the third stanza you speak of 'moving'. Cleverly, too. Is it a physical move? Or just the move to adulthood - which is scary enough. haha
You leave us with a riddle there. Can happiness find you? But you say that you've left childhood behind... how can happiness find you there if you've left it behind? hmmm... Scary thought. Which may be where we end up in the final line... Only there it's YOU who are doing the chasing, not happiness.
This poem, at first, seems simple, but a close read proves it's not. It's a deep one. It would require a lot of thought -- and I still don't think it's meant to be deciphered. It's like Life - meant to be lived and realized on the day-to-day basis. I'm wishing you luck - but I think I know you. You live life like a character I created once - who lived life - 'face first'. I have great confidence in you. Go get 'em!
Good luck in the contest - but I have great confidence in you there, too!! Thanks!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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BN,
Hmmm... There's so much here to ponder. From the questions posed, you make ME start asking questions. *smile* I always wonder about your age and wonder if you're a lot younger than me -- your posts are always so young and youthful. I enjoy them soooo much!
BUT - this post has a different tone entirely. It sounds a bit older. It also seems to question the decisions you've made in life and where they've taken you. (Which I might disagree with, btw.) The second stanza makes it sound like there's a question whether your position with love is safe - which bothers me a LOT. I don't like to consider that you might have to worry on the daily whether the loves in your life might evaporate...
In the third stanza you speak of 'moving'. Cleverly, too. Is it a physical move? Or just the move to adulthood - which is scary enough. haha
You leave us with a riddle there. Can happiness find you? But you say that you've left childhood behind... how can happiness find you there if you've left it behind? hmmm... Scary thought. Which may be where we end up in the final line... Only there it's YOU who are doing the chasing, not happiness.
This poem, at first, seems simple, but a close read proves it's not. It's a deep one. It would require a lot of thought -- and I still don't think it's meant to be deciphered. It's like Life - meant to be lived and realized on the day-to-day basis. I'm wishing you luck - but I think I know you. You live life like a character I created once - who lived life - 'face first'. I have great confidence in you. Go get 'em!
Good luck in the contest - but I have great confidence in you there, too!! Thanks!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thank you for this thoughtful review. To be honest, when ! entered the contest I thought I would write a new poem....but I got writers block. So I looked for a poem from my old poem book and found this one I wrote when I was 16. I was somewhat troubled at that age. My dad died the year before, I got kicked out of high school for not going on a regular basis and life wasn't going that well. So this poem was the result of all my angst. I wondered if things would ever get better. A year later I met my future husband and he encouraged me to get my GED. Things got better. Thanks so much for reading my poem. :)
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Now THAT makes more sense!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Very nicely done. My favorite line ends with "who loves me for me?" One that I'd edit would be "With a heart sad and heavy or as carefree as can be?" by beginning it, "With a heavy heart and .... :-)
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Very nicely done. My favorite line ends with "who loves me for me?" One that I'd edit would be "With a heart sad and heavy or as carefree as can be?" by beginning it, "With a heavy heart and .... :-)
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thanks for this terrific review, it's very appreciated. :)
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a great approach to a poem. All in questions. I found it very philosophical and thought provoking. The most important to me is that it fixed in my mind yesterday when my Daddy said to me sadly "you can't turn time backwards." This understanding of the working of his Alzheimer's bound mind is significant to me. Kate xx
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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This is a great approach to a poem. All in questions. I found it very philosophical and thought provoking. The most important to me is that it fixed in my mind yesterday when my Daddy said to me sadly "you can't turn time backwards." This understanding of the working of his Alzheimer's bound mind is significant to me. Kate xx
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem and for your thoughtful comments. :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I thankfully was able to live the dream lifestyle I always wanted and have never wished for anything else since, but here in your words you are still searching, a poignant write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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I thankfully was able to live the dream lifestyle I always wanted and have never wished for anything else since, but here in your words you are still searching, a poignant write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thank you. Actually, I found myself later on in life and this poem is one I wrote at age 16...a very long time ago. Thank you for reading my poem. :)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
The rhythm of this is so fine and precise that I felt as if I were walking on the beach, swinging my arms, as waves lapped over my feet. Deep thoughts, good "wonderings" and an ending that retained the question mark. Very nice work. I enjoyed this a lot. xo
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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The rhythm of this is so fine and precise that I felt as if I were walking on the beach, swinging my arms, as waves lapped over my feet. Deep thoughts, good "wonderings" and an ending that retained the question mark. Very nice work. I enjoyed this a lot. xo
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem and for this thoughtful review. :)
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I always feel so happy when I find your name across from "New Writing Online" in my Messages. It's a guarantee that I'm in for something good. xo
