I Never Asked/ He Never Told
Hand me down28 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I appreciate the author notes, and BTW, I had a feeling that she was!! :)
This is quite a story about father and son, told with love, anger, resentment, and maybe a touch of remorse.
No one's family life and interrelationships are perfect, to be sure, so I applaud your courage to expose yours in the manner that you have.
The sensory details are effective at pulling the reader into the story, holding them, and releasing at the story's conclusion.
"Hitting palms against the table," and " he wipes sweat from his chin," and " finished his shot, looking into the empty glass," to name a few.
Your intention was well realized!
Well done, John.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
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I appreciate the author notes, and BTW, I had a feeling that she was!! :)
This is quite a story about father and son, told with love, anger, resentment, and maybe a touch of remorse.
No one's family life and interrelationships are perfect, to be sure, so I applaud your courage to expose yours in the manner that you have.
The sensory details are effective at pulling the reader into the story, holding them, and releasing at the story's conclusion.
"Hitting palms against the table," and " he wipes sweat from his chin," and " finished his shot, looking into the empty glass," to name a few.
Your intention was well realized!
Well done, John.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
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A heartfelt thank you to you, K.L.R! I'm pleased it kept you reading and that you enjoyed it. Always a pleasure to have you review my work. I don't, for some reason, receive notifications of your work. I'm pretty sure I fanned you, but I will have to check again. Thanks again
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, John, with your contest entry. I enjoyed
reading it, though it's poignant. You set the scene well and
expanded on the facts in a way that draws readers in. I was
engaged from start to finish. I could see everything that was
discussed. It was a complicated, highly personal story. I have
my thoughts about it, though I don't want to infringe on the
real meanings and discoveries. I found is awesome you tried
and continue trying to make everything better--honest--for
your children. That's admirable. I believe you'll receive much
positive results in your life that'll help you del with the earlier.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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You did a great job, John, with your contest entry. I enjoyed
reading it, though it's poignant. You set the scene well and
expanded on the facts in a way that draws readers in. I was
engaged from start to finish. I could see everything that was
discussed. It was a complicated, highly personal story. I have
my thoughts about it, though I don't want to infringe on the
real meanings and discoveries. I found is awesome you tried
and continue trying to make everything better--honest--for
your children. That's admirable. I believe you'll receive much
positive results in your life that'll help you del with the earlier.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes, Jan
Comment Written 10-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Jan, for the great review and comments. I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
Comment from lyenochka
This felt like a script where we were able to witness a family hurt finally being aired and addressed. There wasn't the desired resolution but at least the generational parenting failure stopped when John was able to really be a father to his own sons. Best wishes in the contest!
Minor nit: not sure if you wanted it for emphasis but italics would be better than capitalization here:
shouldn't It be me (it)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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This felt like a script where we were able to witness a family hurt finally being aired and addressed. There wasn't the desired resolution but at least the generational parenting failure stopped when John was able to really be a father to his own sons. Best wishes in the contest!
Minor nit: not sure if you wanted it for emphasis but italics would be better than capitalization here:
shouldn't It be me (it)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Helen, for a great review, the critique, and best wishes in the contest. I'm happy it presented well.
Comment from irishauthorme
A very deep look. Funny how we never get around to the real thing we wanted to know. Or did we?
All my fiction stories are based on fact, I use your technique, mixing and matching, altering where necessary.
Through the many cases I was privy to, sitting on inmates while they were interviewed, I saw that child abuse carries over for many generations.
Great story, illustrates how hard it is for the reformed to come to terms with their abuses.
irish
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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A very deep look. Funny how we never get around to the real thing we wanted to know. Or did we?
All my fiction stories are based on fact, I use your technique, mixing and matching, altering where necessary.
Through the many cases I was privy to, sitting on inmates while they were interviewed, I saw that child abuse carries over for many generations.
Great story, illustrates how hard it is for the reformed to come to terms with their abuses.
irish
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Irish, for the great review. I'm sure you've seen more than your fair share or perhaps, in some cases, more than you wanted to see. Thank you again, my friend.
Comment from Ric Myworld
My friend Sam Shepard once told me that the most important part of writing is being open and completely honest, even in those pieces that are hard to write. I'm still not very good at it, but he won a Pulitzer Prize and an Academy Award. So, I'd say he was on the right track. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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My friend Sam Shepard once told me that the most important part of writing is being open and completely honest, even in those pieces that are hard to write. I'm still not very good at it, but he won a Pulitzer Prize and an Academy Award. So, I'd say he was on the right track. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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First of all, I love that you were friends with Sam Shepard. Secondly, I hope this snippet of my life reads genuine, omitting the obvious descriptive embellishments. I wanted to give it an overall feel rather than displaying to the world my boring life. Thank you for reading, Ric
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The men of each generation improved a little, your sons will doubtless be shining stars of interpersonal relationships. It reminds me of adaptive evolution... and then one day the perfection of nature hit extinction. That, fortunately remains in the future of your family. A fine piece of writing, John. I learnt a lot about effective POV. One day I might even be able to apply some of hat I learn. Kate xx
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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The men of each generation improved a little, your sons will doubtless be shining stars of interpersonal relationships. It reminds me of adaptive evolution... and then one day the perfection of nature hit extinction. That, fortunately remains in the future of your family. A fine piece of writing, John. I learnt a lot about effective POV. One day I might even be able to apply some of hat I learn. Kate xx
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Kate, for a great review and for your kind words about my family. My sons have fortunately turned into fine men. Thank you again, my friend.
Comment from Regina Elliott
This is quite a well penned
and captivating write. Some
of the emotions and dialogue
you wrote very much
reminded me of my late
father. We were never close.
He passed about 7 years ago.
At the time of his death it
had been 25 years since I
last saw him. My mother
turns 90 next weekend.
Haven't seen her in 31 years.
Anyway, some people have
easy and close relationships
from day one with their
parents, and for some
others, it's more complicated.
I'm glad I took the time to
read your worthy story. ~
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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This is quite a well penned
and captivating write. Some
of the emotions and dialogue
you wrote very much
reminded me of my late
father. We were never close.
He passed about 7 years ago.
At the time of his death it
had been 25 years since I
last saw him. My mother
turns 90 next weekend.
Haven't seen her in 31 years.
Anyway, some people have
easy and close relationships
from day one with their
parents, and for some
others, it's more complicated.
I'm glad I took the time to
read your worthy story. ~
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Regina, for the wonderful review and the six stars. On the other hand, your situation is quite sad. Thank you again and take good care.
Comment from joann r romei
This was great, tension throughout, relationships are difficult, and we all want that fairy tale situation with loved ones. Yet sometimes it does not come to fruition, no matter what is said or done. Good luck.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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This was great, tension throughout, relationships are difficult, and we all want that fairy tale situation with loved ones. Yet sometimes it does not come to fruition, no matter what is said or done. Good luck.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Joann, for the great review and the SIX. I appreciate it all.
Comment from Michaela Moore
You are great at sewing together rich and realistic dialogue with the imagery of the actions in this scene between a dad and his son. I love that because I can get lost in the text. I feel like I am at the table watching it and experiencing the emotions. Like I am a sister or something, hoping the two of you will come together. And with that, you are great at creating the different emotions in a scene in writing. I would be honored if you would maybe read some of my work sometime.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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You are great at sewing together rich and realistic dialogue with the imagery of the actions in this scene between a dad and his son. I love that because I can get lost in the text. I feel like I am at the table watching it and experiencing the emotions. Like I am a sister or something, hoping the two of you will come together. And with that, you are great at creating the different emotions in a scene in writing. I would be honored if you would maybe read some of my work sometime.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you Michaela. Your words are humbling. I'm so happy you enjoyed this and felt you were there. Although I'm not sure you would have wanted to, lol. I'd be honored to read your work. Perhaps there is one in particular?
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Night Tears is a short story I am proud of and then Breath of War is a poem I am proud of. Cheers!
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I just read breath of wars! It is fantastic. You have an addicting style, Michaela. I'm going to read night tears now. Would you mind if I fan you? Not in the literal sense, of course, lol.
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I would love it if you fanned me!
Comment from Shirley McLain
My what a story. It's sad, but I really understand what is being said here. I think we all have our crosses to bear when it come to our parents. You did a great job as always. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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My what a story. It's sad, but I really understand what is being said here. I think we all have our crosses to bear when it come to our parents. You did a great job as always. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Shirley, for the great review and the SIX. I will cherish them. Yes, we all have our crosses. Thanks again, my friend.
