I Never Asked/ He Never Told
Hand me down28 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I commend you, John for writing your story it must have been difficult to revisit the past. I also commend you for
learning not to make the same mistakes that your dad made. You broke away from what could have been an unfortunate repeating of history.
Best wishes
Mary
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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I commend you, John for writing your story it must have been difficult to revisit the past. I also commend you for
learning not to make the same mistakes that your dad made. You broke away from what could have been an unfortunate repeating of history.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the thoughtful review, Mary. I was lucky I had a few outside influences that helped me through. Take good care.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Too many of us have experienced this same scenario. We children suffer from the emotions or non-emotions of parents. The lack of attention makes us feel as if we are in the way. My dad did not hug us or tell us he loved us. He stayed away most of the time. He would often come home drunk as all get out. All he wanted was bark orders. Call me names. From the age of four years old, I remember those horrific words and those mean stares. I felt I was not wanted. I understand how you feel. And thankfully, you did not follow in his footsteps. Your boys were lucky. And I hope they know it. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Too many of us have experienced this same scenario. We children suffer from the emotions or non-emotions of parents. The lack of attention makes us feel as if we are in the way. My dad did not hug us or tell us he loved us. He stayed away most of the time. He would often come home drunk as all get out. All he wanted was bark orders. Call me names. From the age of four years old, I remember those horrific words and those mean stares. I felt I was not wanted. I understand how you feel. And thankfully, you did not follow in his footsteps. Your boys were lucky. And I hope they know it. Have a great day.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Carolyn. I appreciate the review; yes, it is all too familiar. Thanks again and take care.
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You are welcome. No matter how old we get, it still hurts.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Thanks for telling your story.
slack-jawed and leaned back - What is this 'ck' character?
We humans either repeat life as we learned it, or learn from it and resolve 'not' to repeat the mistakes.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thanks for telling your story.
slack-jawed and leaned back - What is this 'ck' character?
We humans either repeat life as we learned it, or learn from it and resolve 'not' to repeat the mistakes.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your review, Wayne, and your good luck wishes for the contest.
Comment from Wendy G
That must have been difficult to think through, and to share. It is hard to break the pattern of generational influence but you seem to have done so - congratulations. You have shared your insights thoughtfully, and it is so hard when our parents' generation never learned to say sorry, and never expressed their love. I too lived through this type of situation. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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That must have been difficult to think through, and to share. It is hard to break the pattern of generational influence but you seem to have done so - congratulations. You have shared your insights thoughtfully, and it is so hard when our parents' generation never learned to say sorry, and never expressed their love. I too lived through this type of situation. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Wendy, it was a revealing piece to write. Thank you for the kind words and best wishes for the contest.
Comment from Jay Squires
John, first things first ... I don't know what font you chose to post this in, but it sucks! The commas look like periods. You can't have that because it throws off the whole sentence structure. Please consider changing it to Times New Roman or Tacoma. (I haven't even started reading this yet. I didn't get past the first paragraph.)
Okay, I'm into it. You are such a consummate relational story-teller with this one, John. Like Grandfather/like father/like son ... and now the son is struggling to break the mold.
Here are a few things, besides the font choice, that you might want to consider. I downloaded this early today and am just now getting to read it at 8:30 PM., so some of the things I pointed out may have been changed.
"Look, thanks for the effort, but -" [Use two dashes, not one, for an EM Dash. Only use single dashes to join two words together as a hyphen.]
Finally, Gramps took to the streets, [This is a little confusing, John. He's calling his father "Gramps"? What's confusing is it would be "Gramps" to the son, whose story his father was supposed to tell.]
"How did you know all of that? [Need a closed quote.]
He tapped the bottom of his glass on the table, [Good image.]
There is so much that is good about this piece. You are an exceptional writer. It might just walk away with the prize. Good luck.
Jay
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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John, first things first ... I don't know what font you chose to post this in, but it sucks! The commas look like periods. You can't have that because it throws off the whole sentence structure. Please consider changing it to Times New Roman or Tacoma. (I haven't even started reading this yet. I didn't get past the first paragraph.)
Okay, I'm into it. You are such a consummate relational story-teller with this one, John. Like Grandfather/like father/like son ... and now the son is struggling to break the mold.
Here are a few things, besides the font choice, that you might want to consider. I downloaded this early today and am just now getting to read it at 8:30 PM., so some of the things I pointed out may have been changed.
"Look, thanks for the effort, but -" [Use two dashes, not one, for an EM Dash. Only use single dashes to join two words together as a hyphen.]
Finally, Gramps took to the streets, [This is a little confusing, John. He's calling his father "Gramps"? What's confusing is it would be "Gramps" to the son, whose story his father was supposed to tell.]
"How did you know all of that? [Need a closed quote.]
He tapped the bottom of his glass on the table, [Good image.]
There is so much that is good about this piece. You are an exceptional writer. It might just walk away with the prize. Good luck.
Jay
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Hi, Jay. Thank you for a humbling review. Ahh, Times New Roman! When I posted, I was trying to remember which one was the traditional font. Thank you, Jay. I'll revisit and make those changes. Thank you for your last comment and the good luck wishes as well.
Comment from kahpot
A very heartfelt write, I see the generations of (downfalls) affected you both in so very different ways, when talking to your Dad the problems affected you both, him not being able to say and you not being able to forgive or forget-as reflections came when speaking of your own sons, an excellent read, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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A very heartfelt write, I see the generations of (downfalls) affected you both in so very different ways, when talking to your Dad the problems affected you both, him not being able to say and you not being able to forgive or forget-as reflections came when speaking of your own sons, an excellent read, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thank you, kahpot for the great review and best wishes for the contest.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
That took a lot of verve to tell the story of your youth. Strange how dad back when thought tough was right and hard knocks a daily part of life, and woe is me the sky is falling, so if all is true than how can fathers today repeat the abusive behavior of yesteryear?
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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That took a lot of verve to tell the story of your youth. Strange how dad back when thought tough was right and hard knocks a daily part of life, and woe is me the sky is falling, so if all is true than how can fathers today repeat the abusive behavior of yesteryear?
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hey, Tom, thank you for the great review. Men still living in the yesteryear are generationally bound and walk with the crutches of their upbringing.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
John, it was very brave of you to put this story to paper and to share it with strangers. It is well-written. You showed a lot of yourself in retelling this interaction with your dad. Sorry, your life as a child wasn't what you wanted it to be. I hope you have learned to say, I'm sorry to your sons when it is needed. Thanks for sharing this personal glimpse into your life.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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John, it was very brave of you to put this story to paper and to share it with strangers. It is well-written. You showed a lot of yourself in retelling this interaction with your dad. Sorry, your life as a child wasn't what you wanted it to be. I hope you have learned to say, I'm sorry to your sons when it is needed. Thanks for sharing this personal glimpse into your life.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hi, Sandra! Thank you for the stars and the kind words. I truly have learned from my dad's mistakes. I try not to do anything to my boys that would warrant an apology and am always trying to teach by example. Thank you, my friend, for a great review.
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You deserved it. One could sense the thought you put into the piece. Blessings to you and your boys!
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Thank you, Sandra
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Wow, what a deep rooted tale John. Filled with angst and emotion.
A few suggestions:
Para 2, 2nd sentence: Add comma after (be)
Para 2, 6th sentence: End with a (?) rather than a (period)
Para 11, 1st sentence: Remove one space before (Dad)
Para 11, 2nd sentence: (shoulderblades) should be (shoulder blades)
Para 13, 1st sentence: Add space between (arm.) and ("Johnny)
Para 18, 1st sentence: Remove space before (Dad)
Para 19, 3rd sentence: CONSIDER (purposefully) rather than (Purposely) (purposefully) is usually used to indicate a greater level of intent or deliberate aim. This kid sounds pretty deliberate!
Para 21, 1st sentence: (quizically) should be (quizzically)
Para 29, 5th sentence:Add comma after (So)
Para 45, 2nd sentence: Add space between (glass.) and ("Those)
Great story, very well told, so good in fact you lead me to believe you lived it. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Wow, what a deep rooted tale John. Filled with angst and emotion.
A few suggestions:
Para 2, 2nd sentence: Add comma after (be)
Para 2, 6th sentence: End with a (?) rather than a (period)
Para 11, 1st sentence: Remove one space before (Dad)
Para 11, 2nd sentence: (shoulderblades) should be (shoulder blades)
Para 13, 1st sentence: Add space between (arm.) and ("Johnny)
Para 18, 1st sentence: Remove space before (Dad)
Para 19, 3rd sentence: CONSIDER (purposefully) rather than (Purposely) (purposefully) is usually used to indicate a greater level of intent or deliberate aim. This kid sounds pretty deliberate!
Para 21, 1st sentence: (quizically) should be (quizzically)
Para 29, 5th sentence:Add comma after (So)
Para 45, 2nd sentence: Add space between (glass.) and ("Those)
Great story, very well told, so good in fact you lead me to believe you lived it. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Gary, for the great review and in-depth critique. I will revisit and make those changes. I did live the pain and frustration. My dad was quite egotistical. It was complex as a young man to navigate that type of personality, but I believe I triumphed and came out on the better end, so I'm told. Thanks again, Gary.
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Your writing definitely portrays a different man than what one could imagine from this story.
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I'm hoping that's a compliment, Gary! Hahahaha. So, I will say thank you and Thank you again for the critiques.
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Definitely a compliment. A well- rounded story told from a personal point of view and it shows in your passion. A very easy read that kept my interest all the way through.
Comment from royowen
This seems to be the day for sadness, it brought back memories of my relationship with my father, if I can call it that, mum and dad had a lousy fighting relationship, so anything I gleaned from what a father looked like, was my friend's dads, I still feel sorry for the father, as I feel sorry for mine, they had a raw deal. Beautifully written John, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This seems to be the day for sadness, it brought back memories of my relationship with my father, if I can call it that, mum and dad had a lousy fighting relationship, so anything I gleaned from what a father looked like, was my friend's dads, I still feel sorry for the father, as I feel sorry for mine, they had a raw deal. Beautifully written John, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Roy for the great review. It's sad how many have gone through a similar scenario. Perhaps it was an epidemic of the era.
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Dads didn?t understand emotions, fear them, I muddle through too, but I love my kin.
