I Never Asked/ He Never Told
Hand me down28 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You lived a very difficult life with a father much like my uncle, who was either rich or bankrupt. It doesn't seem as if your father learned all that much from telling you your story, but you had the knowledge that you were not repeating his life with your sons. This is a well-told story, one I should probably tell about my mother.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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You lived a very difficult life with a father much like my uncle, who was either rich or bankrupt. It doesn't seem as if your father learned all that much from telling you your story, but you had the knowledge that you were not repeating his life with your sons. This is a well-told story, one I should probably tell about my mother.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hi, Carol. Thank you for the kind words and reinforcement. Yes, you should write about your mom. As difficult as it was to write, it was healing in the same sense. Thank you again.
Comment from karenina
Hi John, I am so impressed with your ability to interweave all the complexities of a father/son relationship in a manner that was true to all conflicting emotions. Love is never a straight line, it seems. It's tough while growing up to see things from the parent's point of view. How did they come to be who they are? You came full circle with that as you expressed how your relationship with your dad affected the parenting of your sons.
This was an emotional read for me, as I have a lot of unfinished business with my mom, who passed on in 1987. I never did get the affirmation I wanted, or hoped to hear...
I Learned to love her unconditionally after she died. I hope she learned to love me the same way from the other side.
Thanks for sharing. I'm guessing many of us have similar stories from our childhood!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hi John, I am so impressed with your ability to interweave all the complexities of a father/son relationship in a manner that was true to all conflicting emotions. Love is never a straight line, it seems. It's tough while growing up to see things from the parent's point of view. How did they come to be who they are? You came full circle with that as you expressed how your relationship with your dad affected the parenting of your sons.
This was an emotional read for me, as I have a lot of unfinished business with my mom, who passed on in 1987. I never did get the affirmation I wanted, or hoped to hear...
I Learned to love her unconditionally after she died. I hope she learned to love me the same way from the other side.
Thanks for sharing. I'm guessing many of us have similar stories from our childhood!
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, karenina. This is going to be an interesting contest, as you say, many of us have similar stories which prove to be emotional to write, but end up healing as you type the last word. I hope there are many of us that will take the time to sift through whatever parental regressions they may have and write about it. It does help. Thank you, my friend.
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I find such revelations very cathartic. When these contests come up, I feel that everyone who gets their words and experiences to flow from painful heart to page is already a winner. What better blessing than healing?
Comment from Terry Broxson
John, Wow, what a difficult write this must have been. It was sad to read because you are such a great guy and write so lovingly of your sons. Good luck in this contest. One spag paragraph that starts, Of course you did, you need a capital T for terrified. Good work, Terry.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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John, Wow, what a difficult write this must have been. It was sad to read because you are such a great guy and write so lovingly of your sons. Good luck in this contest. One spag paragraph that starts, Of course you did, you need a capital T for terrified. Good work, Terry.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Terry. We all wish we had more time to tie loose ends with our folks, but time is far from giving. Thanks again, Terry.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I'm giving you a six for this, John, for a couple of reasons. You use one conversation with your father to tell the story of who he was and who you are. It's a sad story, but it's honest and from the heart.
The other reason is that I understand how hard it was for you to write this. I am currently writing a part of "my story" for this same contest, and I'm having to write a good deal of it in the third person just to put distance between myself and that part of my life.
Your dad was right about one thing - it made you stronger. Often pain comes with finding that strength, but it sounds like you used it to be a better father to your own kids.
Thank you for sharing this intimate story.
Pam
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I'm giving you a six for this, John, for a couple of reasons. You use one conversation with your father to tell the story of who he was and who you are. It's a sad story, but it's honest and from the heart.
The other reason is that I understand how hard it was for you to write this. I am currently writing a part of "my story" for this same contest, and I'm having to write a good deal of it in the third person just to put distance between myself and that part of my life.
Your dad was right about one thing - it made you stronger. Often pain comes with finding that strength, but it sounds like you used it to be a better father to your own kids.
Thank you for sharing this intimate story.
Pam
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hi, Pam. It was difficult to write. In fact, I put it aside a few times, as I'm sure you have. Sometimes the subject matter in these contests sneaks up on you as you're so sure at the start that it will be easy to write because the hurt was so long ago. It doesn't work that way as we have both found out. I thank you for the Six stars, Pam.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an exceptionally moving and in-depth account of a conversation between father and son, in an effort to explain their shaky relationship. Both boys and girls need their father's input and support in their lives. Children are blessed by God when their father can nurture, guide, and demonstrate love. Great examination. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This is an exceptionally moving and in-depth account of a conversation between father and son, in an effort to explain their shaky relationship. Both boys and girls need their father's input and support in their lives. Children are blessed by God when their father can nurture, guide, and demonstrate love. Great examination. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, LJB. I appreciate your review, and I thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Judy Lawless
As I began reading this, John, I went back to the top to check. Yes, it was posted as fiction, and it was written like fiction, but I also felt something personal about it. You've done a great job of conveying this piece of your story. And I'm glad you apologized to your mother. :) Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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As I began reading this, John, I went back to the top to check. Yes, it was posted as fiction, and it was written like fiction, but I also felt something personal about it. You've done a great job of conveying this piece of your story. And I'm glad you apologized to your mother. :) Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Judy, for the great review. As far as the contest is concerned, it is categorized as a memoir, but there is no category for it when posting. So I changed it to non-fiction - family, lol. I'm not sure if that works, but I don't want to get disqualified. Thank you for pointing that out.
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You?re quite welcome, John. Most of my non-fiction ends up as General. I?ve asked for a memoir and a travel sub-category under non-fiction. Still waiting. I think you made a good choice.
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Oh, good! Thank you, Judy.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was so sad, John. We never know what our parents went through, and of course, they never told. I learned things about my dad after he died that made him a hero to me. He was anyway. I'm glad you had that chat with your dad, and I'm glad you and your sons have a wonderful relationship. You're a good man, my friend. I enjoyed reading your story. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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That was so sad, John. We never know what our parents went through, and of course, they never told. I learned things about my dad after he died that made him a hero to me. He was anyway. I'm glad you had that chat with your dad, and I'm glad you and your sons have a wonderful relationship. You're a good man, my friend. I enjoyed reading your story. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Sandra, for the great review and for saying I'm a good man. I try! I hope you are doing well, my friend.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I have a feeling many of us had a very similar upbringing. I think the actual facts changed but still similar. I enjoyed reading this emotional post. Good luck with the contest.
shouldn't It be me telling you my life story if there were one to (it??)
Mom looked at me and patted the chair seat next to her. (seat beside her)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I have a feeling many of us had a very similar upbringing. I think the actual facts changed but still similar. I enjoyed reading this emotional post. Good luck with the contest.
shouldn't It be me telling you my life story if there were one to (it??)
Mom looked at me and patted the chair seat next to her. (seat beside her)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Barbara, for the great review and critique.
