Empty Bed
All that's left is our...10 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
I'm a country western music fan, and this has good potential. You have really hit the nail on the head with these lyrics. You ought to try to put some music with this.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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I'm a country western music fan, and this has good potential. You have really hit the nail on the head with these lyrics. You ought to try to put some music with this.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Thank you, that's very kind. Unfortunately, I can't write music. I appreciate this great review. :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Betrayal writing prompt Contest. You grasped the essence of betrayal well. Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Excellent entry for the Betrayal writing prompt Contest. You grasped the essence of betrayal well. Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Thank you, it means a lot to me that you have such a positive opinion on it. :)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I am uncertain if the flow of the story is right for a song. I suspect it depends on who the singer might be. But if these three contesting i like yours better
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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I am uncertain if the flow of the story is right for a song. I suspect it depends on who the singer might be. But if these three contesting i like yours better
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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I'm not either, I can't write music! I do like writing lyrics though. Thanks again, I appreciate this great review.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a well thought out song. It's sure sad as heck. The lyrics are written in large font, so it is easy to read. I like you made a different color font for the verses and chorus. The lyrics follow a consistent rhyme scheme. I could image this as a country music song on a radio. Good job on this prompt. Good luck.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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This is a well thought out song. It's sure sad as heck. The lyrics are written in large font, so it is easy to read. I like you made a different color font for the verses and chorus. The lyrics follow a consistent rhyme scheme. I could image this as a country music song on a radio. Good job on this prompt. Good luck.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Thank you, you are so kind. I would love to be a songwriter, but I can't write music. I appreciate this great review. :)
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Sell it to someone who can. It's good! You are welcome.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I wish I knew the tune you wrote this too because I would like to hum along with it. The words, unfortunately, hit home with me and my first marriage. But it all worked out to the better. I won in the end, I got the resal prize, my current wife.
Terrific C&W song.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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I wish I knew the tune you wrote this too because I would like to hum along with it. The words, unfortunately, hit home with me and my first marriage. But it all worked out to the better. I won in the end, I got the resal prize, my current wife.
Terrific C&W song.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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I'm glad things worked out for you. I wish I could write music, I'd love to be a songwriter. Thanks for reading my poem. :)
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I'm sure you can hum how you want this song to sound. Find a piano player and get them to help you. It does wonders to hear your words sung to music. Believe me it would be worth it.
Comment from Wendy G
Well done. A meaningful and emotional song of betrayal which also shows the impact on children. You chose an excellent image for your presentation. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Well done. A meaningful and emotional song of betrayal which also shows the impact on children. You chose an excellent image for your presentation. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much, I appreciate you reading my poem. :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
When children grow up and look back on their childhood the truth is revealed and it is sometimes hard to understand. Our childhood is a time when our opinions are shaped and we learn that life can sometimes be unfair, a poignant write, fine rhymes and I enjoyed the sentiments here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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When children grow up and look back on their childhood the truth is revealed and it is sometimes hard to understand. Our childhood is a time when our opinions are shaped and we learn that life can sometimes be unfair, a poignant write, fine rhymes and I enjoyed the sentiments here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem and for this thoughtful review. :)
Comment from lancellot
Ah, now that was a sad song for sure. The poor man and his choice not to tell his daughter the hard truth. He may pay for that lie in the future. Very good and easy to follow lyrics, and I like that you made the chorus different so that was also easy to follow. Looks like a winner. And, I give you credit for not going the typical route with a male cheater.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Ah, now that was a sad song for sure. The poor man and his choice not to tell his daughter the hard truth. He may pay for that lie in the future. Very good and easy to follow lyrics, and I like that you made the chorus different so that was also easy to follow. Looks like a winner. And, I give you credit for not going the typical route with a male cheater.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Thanks. I've done so many man betrays woman poems, I got sick of it. It does go both ways after all. I appreciate this great review. :)
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is so good. I'm so moved after reading it. The rhyming works well. I don't know about the format of country songs. But this one certainly works well. I also like the repeated Chorus in red for emphasis.
I would have given you a six-star if I still had one left.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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This is so good. I'm so moved after reading it. The rhyming works well. I don't know about the format of country songs. But this one certainly works well. I also like the repeated Chorus in red for emphasis.
I would have given you a six-star if I still had one left.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Thank you, that really means a lot to me. :)
Comment from TDLRasmar
That is a country song if I ever hear one. The chorus is ripe with minor cords and that maj7 at the end, well it is sublime. You have it all, the cheating heart, the abandoned daughter, and a forlorned husband.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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That is a country song if I ever hear one. The chorus is ripe with minor cords and that maj7 at the end, well it is sublime. You have it all, the cheating heart, the abandoned daughter, and a forlorned husband.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Thanks for this wonderful review, I appreciate it very much. :)
