Romance
Time Travel romance poem.3 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Every line is sublime but seems to have a strange word in many for instance "a" in 1. Why not I? 2 On instead of One 4 'in that past time???' 6 Chances are feels better than chance is and a ; after girl may be effective.
Then again, it's your poetry and you have license to express whatever it is you feel.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Every line is sublime but seems to have a strange word in many for instance "a" in 1. Why not I? 2 On instead of One 4 'in that past time???' 6 Chances are feels better than chance is and a ; after girl may be effective.
Then again, it's your poetry and you have license to express whatever it is you feel.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This is a unique and creative piece of writing. I can honestly say, I've never read a Romance/Love poem that incorporates time travel. Well done.
The only suggestion I have is regarding the switching back and forth between past and present. It gets a little confusing. Perhaps you can break each episode of time travel into its own stanza so it's easier to follow?
For example:
Stanza one = present
Stanza two = past
Stanza three = present
4 = past, etc.
Anyway, take my advice for what it's worth, and with today's inflation, that may not be much. ;)
Overall, nice job.
Cheers,
Erika
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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This is a unique and creative piece of writing. I can honestly say, I've never read a Romance/Love poem that incorporates time travel. Well done.
The only suggestion I have is regarding the switching back and forth between past and present. It gets a little confusing. Perhaps you can break each episode of time travel into its own stanza so it's easier to follow?
For example:
Stanza one = present
Stanza two = past
Stanza three = present
4 = past, etc.
Anyway, take my advice for what it's worth, and with today's inflation, that may not be much. ;)
Overall, nice job.
Cheers,
Erika
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
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It is supposed to be in two tenses because it is a time travel poem.
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Thank you for your help!
Comment from nor84
on my screen, there's a problem with some lines spilling over and creating an extra line. Thus, the title ,where have you been, isn't spelled out by the first letter of each line. You might want to check your screen and make adjustments if necessary. Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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on my screen, there's a problem with some lines spilling over and creating an extra line. Thus, the title ,where have you been, isn't spelled out by the first letter of each line. You might want to check your screen and make adjustments if necessary. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
