Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "Whilst I sleep"Musings of an old man - 2022
33 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a beautifully descriptive Nocturna poem about sleep, JLR. Your words are almost like a meditation, so peaceful and serene, a lovely poem. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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This is a beautifully descriptive Nocturna poem about sleep, JLR. Your words are almost like a meditation, so peaceful and serene, a lovely poem. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Valda, thank you!
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, this is a lovely poem in theme, gentle gentle rhyming rhythm and presentation. I appreciate the form, but the theme more, having thoroughly enjoyed my read...
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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In my opinion, this is a lovely poem in theme, gentle gentle rhyming rhythm and presentation. I appreciate the form, but the theme more, having thoroughly enjoyed my read...
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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I value your kind words.
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Thank you for your gracious sentiment - sorry I missed the typo...Eve
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
JLR,
I liked the airy way you describe one's dreamscape, and then the hope of the beginning of another day.
Nice photo.
Good luck, JLR.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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JLR,
I liked the airy way you describe one's dreamscape, and then the hope of the beginning of another day.
Nice photo.
Good luck, JLR.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Thank you Cindy, I hope your cello is making wonderful music.
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Thank you, JLR.
My cello lessons are going well. 🎻 .
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment from Bill Schott
This nocturna, Whilst I Sleep, brings the reader into the awesome sky of stars and dreams to imagine an eternity in a heavenly place that matches all we have hoped for.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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This nocturna, Whilst I Sleep, brings the reader into the awesome sky of stars and dreams to imagine an eternity in a heavenly place that matches all we have hoped for.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Bill, you nailed it with your comments, thank you, sir!
Comment from harmony13
The author's words for me are filled with a spiritual awareness of the higher self! The words flow and connect well. I pondered on the last line as it leads to the gift of a new day! The artwork is awesome and goes
well with these words. Great Poem!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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The author's words for me are filled with a spiritual awareness of the higher self! The words flow and connect well. I pondered on the last line as it leads to the gift of a new day! The artwork is awesome and goes
well with these words. Great Poem!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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harmony y, thank you! You nailed it with your comments, be well!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your club response read well, JLR. Great job with the rhyme
scheme. I liked your topic and how well you expanded on it.
The image was supportive. Your words were descriptive and
perfect for a night time theme.
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Your club response read well, JLR. Great job with the rhyme
scheme. I liked your topic and how well you expanded on it.
The image was supportive. Your words were descriptive and
perfect for a night time theme.
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Smiles, and smiles, and smiles! Thank you!
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
You have written a beautiful poem, so quietly lulling the reader to sleep. Sometimes I wish for that nighttime trance! One suggestion: Verb should be plural to agree with guides. If you mean Spirit to be the subject, there should be a comma after guides, and embraces is correct.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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You have written a beautiful poem, so quietly lulling the reader to sleep. Sometimes I wish for that nighttime trance! One suggestion: Verb should be plural to agree with guides. If you mean Spirit to be the subject, there should be a comma after guides, and embraces is correct.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Verna, I do thank you for this wonderful input ... may your weekend be filled with Rainbows, Lollipops, and Sunshine. 🙏🙏
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I love your last stanza! As a new day approaches, our bodies and souls are rejuvenated and ready to begin again. Except you say it much better:-)
Nicely done!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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I love your last stanza! As a new day approaches, our bodies and souls are rejuvenated and ready to begin again. Except you say it much better:-)
Nicely done!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Pam thank yo, I am smiling back 😊🙏🙏
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello my friend. I enjoyed reading your lovely work and the skill with which you wrote it. It flows beautifully with the use of enjambment and good end rhymes. Well done, Jim.
Melissa
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Hello my friend. I enjoyed reading your lovely work and the skill with which you wrote it. It flows beautifully with the use of enjambment and good end rhymes. Well done, Jim.
Melissa
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Rainbows and Lollipops good friend! Thank you!
Comment from dragonpoet
James,
These three tercets describe well the change from night to day.
I think the rules state that the second lines of each tercet have to rhyme.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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James,
These three tercets describe well the change from night to day.
I think the rules state that the second lines of each tercet have to rhyme.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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Joan, I must have still must have had sleep in my eyes ... I will revisit this -- thanks a ton!
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It happens to all of us, James.
You're very welcome.
Joan
