The Miranda Chronicles
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Dumped and Fired part 1"Miranda solves a mystery.
13 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like how you covered the idea that we can talk to our inner self or our younger child: "This was going no where so I told seventeen-year old Miranda to step aside and let thirty-three year old Miranda ask him out." A great lesson learned: "I could have taken it as an insult but I didn't. "As a matter of fact no. I waited for guys to ask me out. I waited for a lot of things. I now know that you can't wait for what you want. You just go for it." We lesbians call this a u-haul romance. Should come with chords of foreshadowing music. I'm on to the next chapter...bwaaa
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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I like how you covered the idea that we can talk to our inner self or our younger child: "This was going no where so I told seventeen-year old Miranda to step aside and let thirty-three year old Miranda ask him out." A great lesson learned: "I could have taken it as an insult but I didn't. "As a matter of fact no. I waited for guys to ask me out. I waited for a lot of things. I now know that you can't wait for what you want. You just go for it." We lesbians call this a u-haul romance. Should come with chords of foreshadowing music. I'm on to the next chapter...bwaaa
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Lol. I need to hear more about this Uhaul romance. I really appreciate your nice words. Gretchen
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In a uhaul romance the couple are meeting in in a restaurant. They may have talked on the phone possibly a video chat. But when one of them is coming to meet the other they have a U-Haul of their stuff outside the restaurant. They're all ready to move in Whether it was talked about or not and both think oh this is a good idea. And you howl romance is don't last very long The person will get all their stuff moved in and then something goes bad then they have to move all their stuff out again.
Comment from leather
This was an easy and engaging read. The dialogue seemed very natural.
Since the first and last word of a title or phrase should be capitalized, you may want to review these words: "the tree of life."
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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This was an easy and engaging read. The dialogue seemed very natural.
Since the first and last word of a title or phrase should be capitalized, you may want to review these words: "the tree of life."
Best wishes.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the review and especially for the grammatical help. Much appreciated.
Gretchen
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You're welcome. You would probably want to capitalize the three main words.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good story going. Believable characters. Good work.
But his hotness over ruled those flags. - overruled - one word
500 hours a week. - exaggeration, or error?
seventeen year old Miranda - seventeen-year-old (hyphens)
thirty-three year old - needs more hyphens
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Good story going. Believable characters. Good work.
But his hotness over ruled those flags. - overruled - one word
500 hours a week. - exaggeration, or error?
seventeen year old Miranda - seventeen-year-old (hyphens)
thirty-three year old - needs more hyphens
Best wishes.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the help. I appreciate it. And she was exaggerating about 500 hours per week. Thank you for reading.
Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Miranda is ignoring all of the flashing warning signs. Doesn't she know that is how a girl gets burned? I am really enjoying your story, Gretchen. Why is it we girls seem to need a man in our lives? I am ready for more, bring it! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Miranda is ignoring all of the flashing warning signs. Doesn't she know that is how a girl gets burned? I am really enjoying your story, Gretchen. Why is it we girls seem to need a man in our lives? I am ready for more, bring it! Nancy:)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Thank you. I'm not sure what she's thinking. Or even if she's thinking. Lol. Thank you for your enthusiastic review.
Gretchen
Comment from joann r romei
This was well done, you set up the mystery of what will transpire between these two people, it is difficult to see the wrongs in relationships, and before one knows it decades have gone by leaving nothing but regret and sadness in its wake.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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This was well done, you set up the mystery of what will transpire between these two people, it is difficult to see the wrongs in relationships, and before one knows it decades have gone by leaving nothing but regret and sadness in its wake.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Thank you for your great review. It is very appreciated.
Gretchen
Comment from Susan Newell
GW,
This is an interesting story about how our old dreams don't always fade with maturity (or lack of it). You have piqued my interest. I did notice several spots where you jump tenses and I have made a few notes below.
Sue
But his hotness over ruled those flags. ==> overruled
It was at work, The Little Eagle gas and go where I work 40 to 500 hours a week. I was just about to close up and turn off the pumps when he strolls in. -- that's an abrupt jump from past to present tense (I did get a kick out of 40-500 hours.)
Should he answer, below, "I was," or was the mismatch intentional?
I nod, toss my hair casually over my shoulder. "I sure did. You look familiar, were you a student there?"
He doesn't miss a beat. "I did, at least until I quit. That place was lame. Did you graduate?"
This is going no where so I tell seventeen year old Miranda ==> nowhere & seventeen-year-old
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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GW,
This is an interesting story about how our old dreams don't always fade with maturity (or lack of it). You have piqued my interest. I did notice several spots where you jump tenses and I have made a few notes below.
Sue
But his hotness over ruled those flags. ==> overruled
It was at work, The Little Eagle gas and go where I work 40 to 500 hours a week. I was just about to close up and turn off the pumps when he strolls in. -- that's an abrupt jump from past to present tense (I did get a kick out of 40-500 hours.)
Should he answer, below, "I was," or was the mismatch intentional?
I nod, toss my hair casually over my shoulder. "I sure did. You look familiar, were you a student there?"
He doesn't miss a beat. "I did, at least until I quit. That place was lame. Did you graduate?"
This is going no where so I tell seventeen year old Miranda ==> nowhere & seventeen-year-old
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much. I definitely appreciate the help.
Gretchen
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You are most welcome. You spin a good yarn.
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Thanks 😊
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:-)
Comment from Spitfire
Cool beans, as a 16 year-old Doug might say although he would add the F word in front of him. That he mispronounces her name is another red flag. He can't read! Brave Miranda or Take Advantage of Me Miranda has picked another loser, I fear. I can't wait for the next chapter. BTW, you are an excellent writer which earned you my first six this week.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Cool beans, as a 16 year-old Doug might say although he would add the F word in front of him. That he mispronounces her name is another red flag. He can't read! Brave Miranda or Take Advantage of Me Miranda has picked another loser, I fear. I can't wait for the next chapter. BTW, you are an excellent writer which earned you my first six this week.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Very much appreciate the stars and review. I'm color blind so maybe she is too. That's why she never sees those red flags. Lol.
Thanks, Gretchen
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this chapter, Gretchen. I enjoyed
reading it. I liked the reminisces about high school. Smoking
in gym class--that was funny even if it wasn't intended to be.
Miranda knew all along what she was doing, and it seemed to
have worked out for a while. I believe Dougie knew, too, what
he was doing and what he planned. You gave readers some great
details about both of their lives.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
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You did a great job with this chapter, Gretchen. I enjoyed
reading it. I liked the reminisces about high school. Smoking
in gym class--that was funny even if it wasn't intended to be.
Miranda knew all along what she was doing, and it seemed to
have worked out for a while. I believe Dougie knew, too, what
he was doing and what he planned. You gave readers some great
details about both of their lives.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 03-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
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Thank you. I really appreciate you telling me what resonated with you. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Well done. I hope this is going forward somewhere. It was a great read. Almost as though we were all watching it all from the side. No spags look forward to more.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
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Well done. I hope this is going forward somewhere. It was a great read. Almost as though we were all watching it all from the side. No spags look forward to more.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much! Your encouragement is greatly appreciated.
Gretchen
Comment from robyn corum
GW,
hahahaha! I don't know why he'd need a 1964 Mustang in his driveway -- sounds like that picture he hung up was just about lifesize!! He could just crawl on that thing and play pretend. hahaha!
I can see how Miranda could still try to fall for the guy she had a crush on in high school - I totally get that. But it's sad that most things we dream of like that do not ever loive up to all the glory we try to give them in our minds. Man. Too bad - but it just doesn't work like that. hahaha
Thanks - I look forward to more!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
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GW,
hahahaha! I don't know why he'd need a 1964 Mustang in his driveway -- sounds like that picture he hung up was just about lifesize!! He could just crawl on that thing and play pretend. hahaha!
I can see how Miranda could still try to fall for the guy she had a crush on in high school - I totally get that. But it's sad that most things we dream of like that do not ever loive up to all the glory we try to give them in our minds. Man. Too bad - but it just doesn't work like that. hahaha
Thanks - I look forward to more!
Comment Written 03-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Gretchen
