Reviews from

The Miranda Chronicles

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Don't Shoot the Messenger (4)"
Miranda solves a mystery.

7 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Miranda, I think a lot of parents are treated this way, the ones that remain that is. There are some classic moments in this, "low blood sugar" is brilliant, Young teenagers don't handle bad news well, they are always fragile at the best of times. Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
    Thank you. This was a tough scene, surprisingly. As a mother, I hate for kids to be cast off or neglected, even fictional ones. But I have faith in Miranda to step it up in her unorthodox way.
    Gretchen
reply by royowen on 06-Sep-2022
    Me too Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ohhh, Gretchen! You are SO freaking good at writing!! I am absolutely LOVING this story!

I have MANY parts that just filled me with delight at what I was reading (and admiration for your talent), but here's my Top Two:

1) "Dougie packing up his crap and then run out like a Baptist from a liquor store." O. M. G.! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

2) "He's fine. Just low blood sugar." I can totally see this scene! All the stares, and Miranda, Miss Cool-but-so-out-of-her-element-at-the-moment, trying to mitigate it after being called out by a thirteen-year-old in a public venue.

Once again, you leave me so eager for the next installment!! GREAT work, Miss Talented.


 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
    I'm going out tomorrow to buy some bigger hats. My head is getting bigger and bigger after your reviews.
    Thank you so much!
    Gretchen
reply by Rachelle Allen on 06-Sep-2022
    hahaha. While you're out shopping, get some pens; you'll be autographing this book in no time when it comes out on the Best Seller list!! xo
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Being a mother of four boys, I'm not sure under the circumstances it could've gone any better. Really! I think it actually went quite well. I am enjoying reading this saga. It's good writing.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
    Thank you. I think girls would have made an even bigger scene. Lol. Thanks so much for this encouraging review.
    Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good Job, Gretchin! You certainly have a talent to paint a scene with words and make it appear to be a video. I am into Miranda's story! Enjoyed! Nancy:)

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Nancy. This story is coming to me in full scenes. Very different than my usual story. Thanks so much for the sixer.
    Gretchen
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm so happy to find a read that I can't put down and this is it. I love your writing style, Gertrude. A great story line here that some readers may connect too. How do you tell a kid of any age that his parent left him? Your humor adds to my pleasure in reading you.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
    Thank you. I'm happy you are enjoying it. I don't think Miranda is especially maternal. But hope springs eternal.
    Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great story. So true in many ways for a lot of single Mothers. My Mum was one, too. My elder brother was 12 when dad left us. Maybe I missed a chapter. Hang five while I go look. No spags.More of my biography coming up for review.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
    Thank you and looking forward to reading your work.
    Gretchen
Comment from lancellot
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Structurally, this is well written. As a story, there is too much information, set up or introduction missing. It feels like it begins in the middle of a story and is missing the beginning. This add to confusion as to what is going on, who is who, and just what exactly is their relationship to each other.

It this is a stand alone. I would suggest asking where did all this begin. Then add that as the story's beginning. maybe, let us get to know the characters, so when the boys is kicking the bumper, we can feel for him and mother having to tell him.

notes:

She knows he split. She just wants me to know that she knows.

- yes, but the readers doesn't, unless this a continuation.


"What's going on, Miranda?"

- Now, at midpoint, we know who our MC is and also that's it's a woman.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
    This is a continuation of a story. I neglected to note that in the title or author notes. But thank you for your review and comments.
    Gretchen