Grandpa's Surprise
Contest entry16 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
That's the stuff dreams are made of, and grampas too.
Para 1, 1st sentence: SUGGEST Insert (of) between (couple) and (days)
Para 3, 2nd sentence: SUGGEST (beefed-up) rather than (beefed up) hyphen
Para 11, 3rd sentence: SUGGEST (power-infused) rather than (power infused) hyphen.
No real SPAGs, just a few suggestions, either yay or nay, it's still the fun article you intended it to be. He got his car and you get a six-star for entertaining me and reminding me of my street racing days.
Good job
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2022
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That's the stuff dreams are made of, and grampas too.
Para 1, 1st sentence: SUGGEST Insert (of) between (couple) and (days)
Para 3, 2nd sentence: SUGGEST (beefed-up) rather than (beefed up) hyphen
Para 11, 3rd sentence: SUGGEST (power-infused) rather than (power infused) hyphen.
No real SPAGs, just a few suggestions, either yay or nay, it's still the fun article you intended it to be. He got his car and you get a six-star for entertaining me and reminding me of my street racing days.
Good job
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2022
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Hey, my friend, hello. Those were the days, weren't they? I had a motor-head friend that owned a GTO and we'd all scrounge up enough money for gas just to take it on the highway for a few minutes. He'd downshift and punch it and the tires would squeal at ninety miles an hour. I'm surprised I'm still alive. Lol. Thank you for the awesome review, suggestions and giant sixer, Gary. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great story. Well told. (I bet I know which part was fiction!)
I'm a Ford man, myself, but I loved the '57 Chevy with an easily worked on 283.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2022
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Great story. Well told. (I bet I know which part was fiction!)
I'm a Ford man, myself, but I loved the '57 Chevy with an easily worked on 283.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2022
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Sweet. I don't know anything about engines. Yeah, pretty well from the having a grandpa aspect, I was leaning way over on the fiction side of this story. I tend to do that a lot. Lol. Thank you for the great review and good luck wishes, Wayne. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from RodG
I would have loved to meet--but not race--your grandpa. He obviously loved you to risk his car in a race. But he knew his vehicle and I love how he suckered Mustang guy in. Great use of dialog. You had be hooked from start to finish. Rod
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2022
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I would have loved to meet--but not race--your grandpa. He obviously loved you to risk his car in a race. But he knew his vehicle and I love how he suckered Mustang guy in. Great use of dialog. You had be hooked from start to finish. Rod
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the awesome review, Rod. Yeah, some of the details might actually be leaning toward the fictional side though. Grandpa was cool, but not James Dean cool. Lol. I appreciate the review and generous stars, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
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My pleasure.
Comment from jessizero
This was an exciting story, even considering that you had to edit out some details to fit the word count. You are really a gifted storyteller. Thank you for sharing yet again, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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This was an exciting story, even considering that you had to edit out some details to fit the word count. You are really a gifted storyteller. Thank you for sharing yet again, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the great review, Jessi. Yeah, this would have been a lot better if I had planned it out right, Lol. Or had more words to work with.. I'm glad you liked this silly story. Have a great night and thank you again.
=]
Ron
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This was a good reading, and I was wishing for me. Perhaps, you can do a continuation after the contest. The font size could be a tad bigger, but overall, this was a well-told story. I liked how your every described interaction made your grandfather so different from most grandpas. He was one cool dude. The visual fits well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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This was a good reading, and I was wishing for me. Perhaps, you can do a continuation after the contest. The font size could be a tad bigger, but overall, this was a well-told story. I liked how your every described interaction made your grandfather so different from most grandpas. He was one cool dude. The visual fits well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Sandra. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked this little tale. Have yourself a wonderful night.
=]
Ron
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You are welcome.
Comment from Susan M Symonette
I found this to be a fun, feel good story, generally well written and fun, but predictable. But, you are right that grandpa was not what we normally think of in a grandpa. It sounds like an awesome memory. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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I found this to be a fun, feel good story, generally well written and fun, but predictable. But, you are right that grandpa was not what we normally think of in a grandpa. It sounds like an awesome memory. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Might you have any suggestions for improvement, Susan? A 3 star rating means the piece has major errors or serious grammar issues. Can you please point them out to me so I can make these improvements? Just because it was predictable doesn't actually warrant a 3 star rating. Thank you.
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I see that you're new, Sue. If you look under 'Community" then "QaA" you'll see how the rating system goes on here. A 3 star rating is "Below Average." When giving such a rating, one should give their insight on any errors and mistakes in the piece and add their input on how it could be fixed or improved. Just to let you know for next time you review. A 3 star rating needs to come with reasons for such a rating. Thanks for reading though.
DS
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Thank you for filling me in - yes, total newbie and overzealous. I checked it out the guidelines and if you don't mind I have more to offer...
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I do like the premise and had I informed myself of the guidelines, I probably would have rated this a 4 not a 3, but my mistake. I would like to have seen more of what grandpa is like. What makes him different? A well-written sentence or two could give me a better picture of what you saw as different about him. Something like "he was cool the way James Dean was cool". I also don't know that Grandma was relevant given that you were limited in word count. I think they could have been better spent on the race or Grandpa. Otherwise, I can see how awesome it was to get a dream car in such a memorable way. I hope this helps more. I appreciate your patience explaining the rules to me.
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I appreciate the reply, Susan. Sorry I was limited on words and couldn't get all that in there. Maybe next time. Lol. Have a great day.
