An Epic Tornado Tale
A 30 stanza true story in poetry31 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nicely written. Good work.
An unexpected tornado took our house. It was dark out. We couldn't see it coming, and there was no warning. My nine year old son slept through it in his bed.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Very nicely written. Good work.
An unexpected tornado took our house. It was dark out. We couldn't see it coming, and there was no warning. My nine year old son slept through it in his bed.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you Wayne. I appreciate the review. There have been a lot of tornadoes in that little town where I grew up. When I moved to Chattanooga, I was told they never had tornados here. Since I've been here there have been at least six. One got part of my roof and about 50 trees. One took my daughter house. Two of them left us without power for a week in the summer. I guess I bought them with me.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
This is such a story of miracles that it's worth telling again and each time you've retold it, you give us different perspectives and details. I liked how your grandfather sensed the storm and all the animals, too. Your family members knew how to be prepared. But certainly, angels were with you as you shared:
"When it was over, believe it or not,
we sat upright in the one nailless spot" (maybe "nail-less" ?)
Best wishes in the contest!!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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This is such a story of miracles that it's worth telling again and each time you've retold it, you give us different perspectives and details. I liked how your grandfather sensed the storm and all the animals, too. Your family members knew how to be prepared. But certainly, angels were with you as you shared:
"When it was over, believe it or not,
we sat upright in the one nailless spot" (maybe "nail-less" ?)
Best wishes in the contest!!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Helen. I'm glad you think it is worth repeating. I'm sure it was miracle because how else could we be placed neatly on a seat sitting upright without feeling any impact. It was like we were put to sleep for a moment and this arranged on sitting position and told to wake up because we had no sensation of being put down and we were awake at the same time.
Beth
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Wow! That was brilliant, Beth! What an epic poem of such a traumatic day in your life as a child. We don't get them here in England, and for that I'm most thankful. You did a brilliant job getting all the emotions and all that was going on that day it stunning poetic form. This is a winner in my mind. Well done, my friend!! Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wow! That was brilliant, Beth! What an epic poem of such a traumatic day in your life as a child. We don't get them here in England, and for that I'm most thankful. You did a brilliant job getting all the emotions and all that was going on that day it stunning poetic form. This is a winner in my mind. Well done, my friend!! Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you Sandra, I really appreciate the review. I delighted you liked the poem. I lived in a place where tornados were no stranger and people had dug storm pits. We have them in Chattanooga too. I've already lost of roof and about fifty trees to on and my daughter lost her house here to another one. I'm so pleased that you gave me six stars.
Beth
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Beth, WOW! You lived through a horrific tornado--a day of hell.
Luckily, you were not hurt and everyone was safe. God was watching over you and your family.
Your poem reads and flows well and the verses quickly pull the reader into the story. Of special note:
The blustering wind gave powerful gusts,
filling the gray sky with pinecones and dust.
(Good descriptive writing. I can see it.)
Also of special note:
I closed my eyes tight because of the dirt.
(In places where tornado occur, eye goggles and ear plugs might be something worth gathering to put into a "tornado" kit. Just a thought.)
Well chosen photo. Is February 13th the actual date, or was the date "improvised" for writing and rhyming purposes. I tried to find out more about this tornado through the internet, but came up blank?
A poem-in-a-story that needed to be told. Well done, as seen through the eyes of a child. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Hi Beth, WOW! You lived through a horrific tornado--a day of hell.
Luckily, you were not hurt and everyone was safe. God was watching over you and your family.
Your poem reads and flows well and the verses quickly pull the reader into the story. Of special note:
The blustering wind gave powerful gusts,
filling the gray sky with pinecones and dust.
(Good descriptive writing. I can see it.)
Also of special note:
I closed my eyes tight because of the dirt.
(In places where tornado occur, eye goggles and ear plugs might be something worth gathering to put into a "tornado" kit. Just a thought.)
Well chosen photo. Is February 13th the actual date, or was the date "improvised" for writing and rhyming purposes. I tried to find out more about this tornado through the internet, but came up blank?
A poem-in-a-story that needed to be told. Well done, as seen through the eyes of a child. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much for the review. I enjoyed your comments. Yes it was on Feb 13 and also Friday 13. In the Southern states if the weather gets unseasonably warm in in the winter month that is a likly time for a storm. That storm happened so long ago, there was no internet then. I appreciate the six stars.
Beth
Comment from zanya
A poetic achievement telling a tale of a violent tornado experienced as a child - both graphic and gripping in its detail-and rhyming to booth -should be included in a social history archive- excellent
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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A poetic achievement telling a tale of a violent tornado experienced as a child - both graphic and gripping in its detail-and rhyming to booth -should be included in a social history archive- excellent
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you Zanya. I'm glad you liked my poem. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth
Comment from Sankey
What a great true story in a poem. You convey all the horror and stress of the time. Well done. Some spags need attention. Loved the picture and layout. Cau[s]tiously, we called out
His home was dest(r)oyed;
L[l]ives were altered
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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What a great true story in a poem. You convey all the horror and stress of the time. Well done. Some spags need attention. Loved the picture and layout. Cau[s]tiously, we called out
His home was dest(r)oyed;
L[l]ives were altered
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much for a great review and help with the spags. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth
Comment from Marienkiefer
Wow. That is a story. There is one forceful and dominating emotion in this poem: the fear you and your family withstood. Glad you made it through.
Sparkling in your story:
-storytelling
-The duration of the poem serves a purpose as it reflective of that long, harrowing, day and the weeks Thar followed the tornado.
-You give us the full picture and breadth of emotion.
Sparkling line: I loved the whole story, most especially the stanza where your dad is trying desperately to get home, showing his love and concern for family.
A very moving piece. Beautiful storytelling.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wow. That is a story. There is one forceful and dominating emotion in this poem: the fear you and your family withstood. Glad you made it through.
Sparkling in your story:
-storytelling
-The duration of the poem serves a purpose as it reflective of that long, harrowing, day and the weeks Thar followed the tornado.
-You give us the full picture and breadth of emotion.
Sparkling line: I loved the whole story, most especially the stanza where your dad is trying desperately to get home, showing his love and concern for family.
A very moving piece. Beautiful storytelling.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm so glad you liked my poem. I enjoyed your comments.
Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Wow! You certainly went through hell didn't you. I only witnessed a tornado like your father. I remember seeing someone's refrigerator flying through the air. I was very frightened to say the least. LOL Well done. The poem was long but held my interest as I read it. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wow! You certainly went through hell didn't you. I only witnessed a tornado like your father. I remember seeing someone's refrigerator flying through the air. I was very frightened to say the least. LOL Well done. The poem was long but held my interest as I read it. Nancy:)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you for reading my long poem, Nancy. It is a memory I'll never forget. I can't remember being terrified. It was all happening so fast and since neither by mother and I didn't know how we got into that sitting position, I assume we blacked our for a little while. We didn't come down hard. We weren't bruised. It was like something put us down gently and then told us to wake up.
Comment from WalkerMan
These thirty quatrains slide by really fast because of the urgency to find out what happens and how you survived after being vacuumed out of your split open house and pulled like debris into the sky, still in your loving mother's arms the entire time. God has plans for each of us, and saved your whole family for good reason -- possibly to preserve the love He saw among all of you. Then your caring community united to help all who needed help to rebuild. That is an example of the life of love and trust He wants for all of us.
Superb, and aptly illustrated with an image that is even more striking if expanded to full screen.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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These thirty quatrains slide by really fast because of the urgency to find out what happens and how you survived after being vacuumed out of your split open house and pulled like debris into the sky, still in your loving mother's arms the entire time. God has plans for each of us, and saved your whole family for good reason -- possibly to preserve the love He saw among all of you. Then your caring community united to help all who needed help to rebuild. That is an example of the life of love and trust He wants for all of us.
Superb, and aptly illustrated with an image that is even more striking if expanded to full screen.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you Mike, I really appreciate the review and the six stars. I glad you didn't find the poem too longs.
Beth
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You are most welcome, Beth. Considering all that occurred through that day and afterwards, your poem was not too long in describing what you, your family, and the community experienced. Doing so in a well-rhymed poem is an achievement on its own. :)) -- Mike
Comment from Ric Myworld
You have a magical way with words, my dear, a skill that puts your readers right into the mix. I just wish it wasn't so late in the week and I had a six to reward it properly. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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You have a magical way with words, my dear, a skill that puts your readers right into the mix. I just wish it wasn't so late in the week and I had a six to reward it properly. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you Ric, I appreciate those nice comments. I'm glad you like my poem and were willing to read thirty verses just to get the story.
Beth
