Novella - Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Unwanted Dog-10"Adopted By Unknown Stranger In Wal-Mart Parking Lo
15 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is a rather strange story. I'm not quite sure I connect the first part of The Sandman song with the bottom part about the horrific dream your character had. It is interesting and nicely written.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
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This is a rather strange story. I'm not quite sure I connect the first part of The Sandman song with the bottom part about the horrific dream your character had. It is interesting and nicely written.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
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It is my autobiography. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
The author describes feeling disconnected and confused and how the events in his life had not always been so discombobulated. He described his feeling as a scared little boy and other times he felt full of himself, rambunctious, and ready to take on the world. The text also features a scene set in a zoo where the author is a zookeeper and describes an incident with a lion named Gyro. Overall, it's a stream of consciousness piece of writing.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
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The author describes feeling disconnected and confused and how the events in his life had not always been so discombobulated. He described his feeling as a scared little boy and other times he felt full of himself, rambunctious, and ready to take on the world. The text also features a scene set in a zoo where the author is a zookeeper and describes an incident with a lion named Gyro. Overall, it's a stream of consciousness piece of writing.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
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Appreciate the review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
What a non-scenario you had. Good thing it was not real, or you would not be here to tell the story. I often wondered how long you have been living on the street and if you had a change of livelihood...I guess I'll find out.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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What a non-scenario you had. Good thing it was not real, or you would not be here to tell the story. I often wondered how long you have been living on the street and if you had a change of livelihood...I guess I'll find out.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Was not on the streets real long. Appreciate the review.
Comment from judiverse
I do like the way you begin these chapters with a reference to a song and associating it with events in the narrator's life. I remember the Cordettes' version of the song. What a powerful dream! It should remind the boy of the dangers that lie out there when you're living on the streets. One clue is that his boots have somehow been removed. You're doing an excellent job of conveying the boy's feelings. He is in a lose-lose situation. judi
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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I do like the way you begin these chapters with a reference to a song and associating it with events in the narrator's life. I remember the Cordettes' version of the song. What a powerful dream! It should remind the boy of the dangers that lie out there when you're living on the streets. One clue is that his boots have somehow been removed. You're doing an excellent job of conveying the boy's feelings. He is in a lose-lose situation. judi
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Appreciate the comments and the review.
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You're very welcome. It's such a compelling story. judi
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent chapter, although I felt the introduction was a little heavy on unusual words and expressions, and hence did not quite fit with the rest of the writing. Your description of the nightmare was vivid and gripping, and the query about the boots was a great way to ensure we all keep reading. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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An excellent chapter, although I felt the introduction was a little heavy on unusual words and expressions, and hence did not quite fit with the rest of the writing. Your description of the nightmare was vivid and gripping, and the query about the boots was a great way to ensure we all keep reading. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
DISCUMBOBULATED! I had forgotten all about that word. My Father used to use it in fun. He was a word collector. Loved finding and using new words. So tell me Brett. Did you dream
all this in technicolor? Your dreams are much more vivid than mine. I seem to get distracted and go off in another direction when I am in danger or upset. LOL This was an excellent chapter. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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DISCUMBOBULATED! I had forgotten all about that word. My Father used to use it in fun. He was a word collector. Loved finding and using new words. So tell me Brett. Did you dream
all this in technicolor? Your dreams are much more vivid than mine. I seem to get distracted and go off in another direction when I am in danger or upset. LOL This was an excellent chapter. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Only dream in discumbobulations. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This chapter tells of what seem to be very real memories of nightmares you had when you were on the street, Brett. I wonder how real they were, as you remember them. The big cat episode had me holding my breath.
I've forgotten to mention before, but I like the opening of your chapters, where you tell us something about songs from that era. They bring back memories.
You have two sentences ending with a preposition. "The passion became a vice I could not turn loose of." - perhaps could not elude?
"I was convinced a planetary paradigm shift was underway I was caught up in the middle of." - perhaps rearrange the sentence? - I was convinced I was caught up in the middle of a planetary paradigm shift.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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This chapter tells of what seem to be very real memories of nightmares you had when you were on the street, Brett. I wonder how real they were, as you remember them. The big cat episode had me holding my breath.
I've forgotten to mention before, but I like the opening of your chapters, where you tell us something about songs from that era. They bring back memories.
You have two sentences ending with a preposition. "The passion became a vice I could not turn loose of." - perhaps could not elude?
"I was convinced a planetary paradigm shift was underway I was caught up in the middle of." - perhaps rearrange the sentence? - I was convinced I was caught up in the middle of a planetary paradigm shift.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Appreciate the suggestions and the review.
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You?re most welcome, Brett.
Comment from Teri7
Wow! This is a very well written post you have penned. As I was reading it I thought you were finished and being eat up by this animal. You used very good descriptive words. I am so glad it was a nightmare. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Tei
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Wow! This is a very well written post you have penned. As I was reading it I thought you were finished and being eat up by this animal. You used very good descriptive words. I am so glad it was a nightmare. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Tei
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Much more to come. Appreciate your review.
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I am so glad to hear from you. I prayed for you and the others I knew from here off and on ever since I heard! Blessings, Teri
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Brett,
It took me a minute to understand what you were writing about with the lion. It was certainly well written though. That would be terrifying to be in the same area as a lion.
You appear to have quite a bit of knowledge about music. I love listening to a diverse number of styles, but don't posses a fraction of your knowledge. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Hello Brett,
It took me a minute to understand what you were writing about with the lion. It was certainly well written though. That would be terrifying to be in the same area as a lion.
You appear to have quite a bit of knowledge about music. I love listening to a diverse number of styles, but don't posses a fraction of your knowledge. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Sankey
I love this word...is it original with you?? I know I have seen it some place before. DISCUMBOBULATED
What does this one mean?? "copacetic."
The following needs re-arranging... I was convinced a planetary paradigm shift was underway I was caught up in the middle of. Change to.... I was convinced a planetary paradigm shift(I was caught up in the middle of,) was underway. What a dream you had! Looking forward to where this is going.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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I love this word...is it original with you?? I know I have seen it some place before. DISCUMBOBULATED
What does this one mean?? "copacetic."
The following needs re-arranging... I was convinced a planetary paradigm shift was underway I was caught up in the middle of. Change to.... I was convinced a planetary paradigm shift(I was caught up in the middle of,) was underway. What a dream you had! Looking forward to where this is going.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Much appreciated review. A nightmare never forgotten.
