The Duke
A contest entry16 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
So glad you entered this contest! I'm glad you referenced Camelot, too. There are relationships that never heal in this world but it's good that Joseph came back promptly when he got his mother's email. Now he and his mother can continue enjoy time together.
Suggestions:
livelihood just may depend on it?" his mother proclaimed. (Maybe an exclamation point instead of a question mark since she proclaimed it? or maybe exclaimed it)
earth." The Duchess replied. (earth," the Duchess replied.)
"Well, I am here, aren't I. (question mark instead of period.)
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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So glad you entered this contest! I'm glad you referenced Camelot, too. There are relationships that never heal in this world but it's good that Joseph came back promptly when he got his mother's email. Now he and his mother can continue enjoy time together.
Suggestions:
livelihood just may depend on it?" his mother proclaimed. (Maybe an exclamation point instead of a question mark since she proclaimed it? or maybe exclaimed it)
earth." The Duchess replied. (earth," the Duchess replied.)
"Well, I am here, aren't I. (question mark instead of period.)
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much Helene for reading, reviewing and your amazing comments. I will fix that shortly.
Comment from jessizero
This was a very interesting story with the first sentence provided. I was upset when the new Duke never forgave his father, so congratulations on evoking an emotion in the reader. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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This was a very interesting story with the first sentence provided. I was upset when the new Duke never forgave his father, so congratulations on evoking an emotion in the reader. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much jessizero for reading, reviewing and your fabulous comments.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. So he inherited the title?
If his mother had his email, it wasn't important where the son was. Also, the father would most likely have had access to the email address and could have expressed his regrets had all been forgiven.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Well written. So he inherited the title?
If his mother had his email, it wasn't important where the son was. Also, the father would most likely have had access to the email address and could have expressed his regrets had all been forgiven.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Thank you Wayne for reading, reviewing and your great comments.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Aryr,
Excellent entry for the 'This Sentence Starts The Story contest.' Many kids dislike their parents, some for good reasons. Even if the first son is not close to his dad, he should inherit everything. Blessed be n hugs (*-*)
Gypsy
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Hello, Aryr,
Excellent entry for the 'This Sentence Starts The Story contest.' Many kids dislike their parents, some for good reasons. Even if the first son is not close to his dad, he should inherit everything. Blessed be n hugs (*-*)
Gypsy
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much Gypsy for reading, reviewing and your amazing comments. Blessed Be n Hugs!
Comment from Pantygynt
Yes if he didn't formally disinherit his number one son, the lad gets the lot, despite the son running off.
A small typo here:
'your lively hood just...' // You don't mean this you mean livelihood.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Yes if he didn't formally disinherit his number one son, the lad gets the lot, despite the son running off.
A small typo here:
'your lively hood just...' // You don't mean this you mean livelihood.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much Pantygynt/Jim for reading, reviewing and you great comments and suggestions.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Aryr a wonderful Wednesday to you. I liked your sentence starts the story entry it was nicely written. For me unfortunately I could relate to the story a little bit as I have issues with my "father" who I haven't seen in about 30 years. good job and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Hello Aryr a wonderful Wednesday to you. I liked your sentence starts the story entry it was nicely written. For me unfortunately I could relate to the story a little bit as I have issues with my "father" who I haven't seen in about 30 years. good job and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much the13thpoet for reading, reviewing and your fantastic comments.
