The Miranda Chronicles
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Enter the Dragon's Lair (Miranda"Miranda solves a mystery.
12 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Glad I saw you had posted this great chapter. Too many people are so full of their own importance. I guess we on the outside have the advantage of what has gone before. Then there's the ex Mother in law! Sigh!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
  |
Glad I saw you had posted this great chapter. Too many people are so full of their own importance. I guess we on the outside have the advantage of what has gone before. Then there's the ex Mother in law! Sigh!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
Lol. Love your review. That ex mother-in-law is a piece of work. But she does have the children's best interest at heart. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Waylon got off really easy. I hope he realizes what Miranda did for him and eases up on her. This is really good.
"Miranda, Miranda, Miranda," she sighs. (Period after 'Miranda' and capital 's' on 'She')
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
 |
Waylon got off really easy. I hope he realizes what Miranda did for him and eases up on her. This is really good.
"Miranda, Miranda, Miranda," she sighs. (Period after 'Miranda' and capital 's' on 'She')
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
Thank you. I do so appreciate the help. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Gretchen
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This chapter read well, Gretchen. I liked the way Miranda didn't
back down at the school. She made a good point about the
punishment, though it might give other students ideas. Maybe
others didn't see the knife fall out of the backpack. Elaine seemed
to be one who holds grudges no matter with who or what. I liked
that Miranda took more responsibility--esp for Waylon. You're
doing a great job extending this storyline.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
|
This chapter read well, Gretchen. I liked the way Miranda didn't
back down at the school. She made a good point about the
punishment, though it might give other students ideas. Maybe
others didn't see the knife fall out of the backpack. Elaine seemed
to be one who holds grudges no matter with who or what. I liked
that Miranda took more responsibility--esp for Waylon. You're
doing a great job extending this storyline.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
Thank you so much. This has been a wild ride. I usually write about teenage boys coming of age. This is way out of my comfort zone. Lol. But it's kind of like a roller coaster. Terrifying and fun. Thank you for taking time to read and review. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always nice to see a good kid get a break. But sadly, in real life, the good kids are the ones used as examples and treated harshest, while the thugs play the system repeatedly and get leniency. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
|
It's always nice to see a good kid get a break. But sadly, in real life, the good kids are the ones used as examples and treated harshest, while the thugs play the system repeatedly and get leniency. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for this great review. Where I'm from it's who your parents are. If they have pull in the community, the kid gets another chance. Because they have potential. Same old, same old. Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the stars. Much appreciated. Gretchen
-
Sadly, it's who your parents are, not only in your community, but most everywhere. I'm one of the rare people who believes characters are more to story than plot or theme or anything else. And you create them so well! :-)
Comment from Wendy G
Very close call for Waylon. Sounds like Miranda held back a bit from all she might have said to her ex m-i-l. I enjoyed the chapter, although the acrimony between the two women was not explained, as I don't know the background story re Farley. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
|
Very close call for Waylon. Sounds like Miranda held back a bit from all she might have said to her ex m-i-l. I enjoyed the chapter, although the acrimony between the two women was not explained, as I don't know the background story re Farley. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
The talk about Farley was in the first 2 chapters. Thank you very much for this wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
Hey, Gretchen, you ought to consider using a larger font -- about a 16. It's a lot easier on the eyes.
Your novel continues on in an entertaining fashion. I only had two stumbling blocks:
"Elaine." [Okay, I'm confused. Miranda is saying her name is Elaine?]
Elaine Buckley, headmaster of Patterson High School is one and the same as Elaine "Lainey" Buckley, my former mother-in-law. [Just about the time I had the above question answered, I'm gathering that Elaine Buckley, Miranda's former Mother in law is Waylon's grandmother?]
Okay, I see it's a different father that Waylon's dad, so it must have been from Miranda's first marriage, or she wasn't married to (I think it starts with a "D", Waylon's dad.) My only point is that it might be a good idea to explain a little more about her marriage with that Farley guy -- where it fit in.]
Anyway, it's a helluva entertaining story, Gretchen. I love it and look forward to each new chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
|
Hey, Gretchen, you ought to consider using a larger font -- about a 16. It's a lot easier on the eyes.
Your novel continues on in an entertaining fashion. I only had two stumbling blocks:
"Elaine." [Okay, I'm confused. Miranda is saying her name is Elaine?]
Elaine Buckley, headmaster of Patterson High School is one and the same as Elaine "Lainey" Buckley, my former mother-in-law. [Just about the time I had the above question answered, I'm gathering that Elaine Buckley, Miranda's former Mother in law is Waylon's grandmother?]
Okay, I see it's a different father that Waylon's dad, so it must have been from Miranda's first marriage, or she wasn't married to (I think it starts with a "D", Waylon's dad.) My only point is that it might be a good idea to explain a little more about her marriage with that Farley guy -- where it fit in.]
Anyway, it's a helluva entertaining story, Gretchen. I love it and look forward to each new chapter.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
Duly noted. Farley was talked about in the first 2 chapters but I think I might go back in and add a mention or two of him in this installment. You're the third person to mention it. Thanks so much for this awesome and helpful review. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well... That went well, considering. Former mother-in-law? Wow! Surely she knew he was not Mirandas' son. I would say they dodged the bullet. When is he going to start appreciating her? I think he is about due don't you? Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
|
Well... That went well, considering. Former mother-in-law? Wow! Surely she knew he was not Mirandas' son. I would say they dodged the bullet. When is he going to start appreciating her? I think he is about due don't you? Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
-
Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I have been told by several reviewers that I need to insert a little history (re: Farley and Miranda) into this chapter. Do you agree?
Gretchen
-
I don't know. It might help as long as it doesn't distract from the present storyline.
It is obvious there is a bit of resentment there. Maybe Farley was a Mama's boy? I admired my mother-in-law and her one daughter in a houseful of six boys and a father.. LOL
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Okay, you know I totally love your writing in general and this book, especially. But this chapter feels a bit anti-climactic to me. It feels too "white-washed."
I loved the fact that Miranda knows the woman who holds all the cards in this horrible mistake of a situation; that was so typical of Miranda's life luck! But I was craving a lot more painful, maybe Miranda-style cringe-worthy interaction between the two women. And I really craved some backstory. I was sure Miranda would test her ex-MIL's patience riiiiight to the brink of ruining things for Waylon but then walk her challenges back just in the nick of time. Miranda's smart, and this situation is, indeed, dire. But she's also sassy as hell, and it feels like there are still some "unsatisfied debts" here where these women are concerned. I felt like more fireworks were in order. I mean, come on here, Gretchen! You can't make me a Miranda's Such the Spitfire junkie then expect me to go cold turkey when such a perfectly juicy opportunity presents itself! Where's that renegade you've made us all fall in love with?! WE! WANT! THE SPITFIRE! WE! WANT! THE SPITFIRE!
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
|
Okay, you know I totally love your writing in general and this book, especially. But this chapter feels a bit anti-climactic to me. It feels too "white-washed."
I loved the fact that Miranda knows the woman who holds all the cards in this horrible mistake of a situation; that was so typical of Miranda's life luck! But I was craving a lot more painful, maybe Miranda-style cringe-worthy interaction between the two women. And I really craved some backstory. I was sure Miranda would test her ex-MIL's patience riiiiight to the brink of ruining things for Waylon but then walk her challenges back just in the nick of time. Miranda's smart, and this situation is, indeed, dire. But she's also sassy as hell, and it feels like there are still some "unsatisfied debts" here where these women are concerned. I felt like more fireworks were in order. I mean, come on here, Gretchen! You can't make me a Miranda's Such the Spitfire junkie then expect me to go cold turkey when such a perfectly juicy opportunity presents itself! Where's that renegade you've made us all fall in love with?! WE! WANT! THE SPITFIRE! WE! WANT! THE SPITFIRE!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
-
Who says it's over? Lol. He's only in the ninth grade. Honestly, I couldn't see Miranda going off in the school. I think she swallowed some of her vinegar to keep things from spiraling south. I'm sure the ride home will be entertaining. I'm so sorry I didn't give you a full Miranda experience. But keep that tough love coming. Gretchen
-
Definitely!
Comment from lancellot
Sweat, perfume, []hormones are all mingling in the air.
-Sweat, perfume, and hormones are all mingling in the air. (needs a conjunction)
Nope, it's propped open with a {text book} that is shoved under the door
-textbook (one word)
I grab my purse off the floor by my feet and stand (up).
-I grab my purse off the floor by my feet and stand. (redundant)
When I look up, I throw up just a little in my mouth.
-When I look up, I vomit a little in my mouth.(too many ups)
A very strong chapter. Nice to have something filling to read on a Saturday. Just a few suggestions.
notes:
"Elaine Buckley," I say, hoping maybe I'll come to (in) an alternate universe.
-"Elaine Buckley," I say, hoping maybe I'll come to an alternate universe.
It's actually very {lienant} and probably one of the nicest things Elaine Buckley has ever done.
-lenient
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
|
Sweat, perfume, []hormones are all mingling in the air.
-Sweat, perfume, and hormones are all mingling in the air. (needs a conjunction)
Nope, it's propped open with a {text book} that is shoved under the door
-textbook (one word)
I grab my purse off the floor by my feet and stand (up).
-I grab my purse off the floor by my feet and stand. (redundant)
When I look up, I throw up just a little in my mouth.
-When I look up, I vomit a little in my mouth.(too many ups)
A very strong chapter. Nice to have something filling to read on a Saturday. Just a few suggestions.
notes:
"Elaine Buckley," I say, hoping maybe I'll come to (in) an alternate universe.
-"Elaine Buckley," I say, hoping maybe I'll come to an alternate universe.
It's actually very {lienant} and probably one of the nicest things Elaine Buckley has ever done.
-lenient
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
-
Thank you so much. I do appreciate the help. And also for taking the time to read and review. Gretchen
Comment from lyenochka
Whew! That was a close one. But Miranda played her cards right with her mean ex-mother-in-law. More background story about Miranda's husband would be interesting. Hope Miranda makes it to work on time!
Suggestion:
I know she isn't scared of me, she just doesn't like me. (semicolon instead of a comma since they are both full sentences. I had a reviewer point that out to me recently.)
actually very lienant (lenient)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
|
Whew! That was a close one. But Miranda played her cards right with her mean ex-mother-in-law. More background story about Miranda's husband would be interesting. Hope Miranda makes it to work on time!
Suggestion:
I know she isn't scared of me, she just doesn't like me. (semicolon instead of a comma since they are both full sentences. I had a reviewer point that out to me recently.)
actually very lienant (lenient)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
-
Thank you so much. I do appreciate the feedback. And thanks for following Miranda's story. Gretchen
