Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 77 "Seasons"Musings of an old man - 2022
32 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This was an interesting Zanze, with its interplay between the shifting seasons - nicely done. However, I felt your rhymes let you down a couple of times. Kate xx
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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This was an interesting Zanze, with its interplay between the shifting seasons - nicely done. However, I felt your rhymes let you down a couple of times. Kate xx
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Kate, yes a bit off, been away for a month. I trust you are doing well and your caretaking is remaining manageable.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your zanze read well, JLR. I liked the picture first off. Your
lines followed the required style well. You told a good story
as you compared a person (you?) to fall and wishing for
spring. Your rhymes worked, there was smooth flow, and the
story created good imagery.
[no apostrophe in title]
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Your zanze read well, JLR. I liked the picture first off. Your
lines followed the required style well. You told a good story
as you compared a person (you?) to fall and wishing for
spring. Your rhymes worked, there was smooth flow, and the
story created good imagery.
[no apostrophe in title]
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Jan, a great challenge. As always, thank you for your creative task of keeping the club engaged with risk taking opportunities to explore new poetic styles.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I could commiserate with the sentiments in this poem. Fall air gets into old bones, making thing hurt and ache. The way this was written was intriguing to me. It was old world sounding. Really nice poem. Gretchen
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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I could commiserate with the sentiments in this poem. Fall air gets into old bones, making thing hurt and ache. The way this was written was intriguing to me. It was old world sounding. Really nice poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Gretchen, thank you! 🙏🎶🎶
Comment from Raul1
The sentences flow with clarity. It's beautifully written. It is interesting and entertaining to read. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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The sentences flow with clarity. It's beautifully written. It is interesting and entertaining to read. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Raul, thank you
Comment from lyenochka
Good to see you back, Jim! Where have you been?
Great job with your Zanze poem - well constructed! And yes, fall is a reminder that we all are approaching our winter years. Hope it's a beautiful autumn there!
One suggestion:
passed summers hold (summer's)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Good to see you back, Jim! Where have you been?
Great job with your Zanze poem - well constructed! And yes, fall is a reminder that we all are approaching our winter years. Hope it's a beautiful autumn there!
One suggestion:
passed summers hold (summer's)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Hi Friend, we recently went through the process of completing a new home construction and moved into same. We are so pleased to have this In the reader view mirror and settled. I appreciate your asking and as always your keen eye!
Comment from Fleedleflump
I'd never seen this form until I read Kate's one earlier today. It's certainly a bit of a brain twister but hers inspired me to have a go. You've worked well with the restrictions to fashion this lovely, artfully described piece.
Mike
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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I'd never seen this form until I read Kate's one earlier today. It's certainly a bit of a brain twister but hers inspired me to have a go. You've worked well with the restrictions to fashion this lovely, artfully described piece.
Mike
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Thanks Mike! Kate usually is spot on!
Comment from nomi338
Fall has indeed made its presence known. Summer has departed, days have shortened and there's a noticeable chill in the air. Leaves are changing colors and have begun their descent to the ground. Bones that were once warmed by the sun have now begun to ache with the drastic change in temperature. My heart is saddened. Sad but good write.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Fall has indeed made its presence known. Summer has departed, days have shortened and there's a noticeable chill in the air. Leaves are changing colors and have begun their descent to the ground. Bones that were once warmed by the sun have now begun to ache with the drastic change in temperature. My heart is saddened. Sad but good write.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Hi Nomi and So, we now count the days into Winter and if fortunate can hibernate through same until the flowering of spring crocus and daisies indicate the warm days return.
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Sounds good, and as I am now retired, it is a lot more doable than ever before.
Comment from royowen
This form looks quite complex, the first line repeat appears to make this form look a little awkward, I don't think I'll try this one. This is beautifully written my friend, and excellent job Jim, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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This form looks quite complex, the first line repeat appears to make this form look a little awkward, I don't think I'll try this one. This is beautifully written my friend, and excellent job Jim, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Thanks for the validation, Roy. I trust all is well.
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Welcome Jim
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation. It is good to see you, too.
-This is way too complicated for me, but kudos to you for doing it.
-You did a really good job with it.
-A good topic, effective imagery, rhyme, and repeating lines.
-The flow is smooth from verse to verse.
-You also make it seem easier that it probably is.
-This is a very good image: "Old bones thirst for an early Spring."
-Very good closing verses, too.
-Very well done!!!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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-Nice artwork and presentation. It is good to see you, too.
-This is way too complicated for me, but kudos to you for doing it.
-You did a really good job with it.
-A good topic, effective imagery, rhyme, and repeating lines.
-The flow is smooth from verse to verse.
-You also make it seem easier that it probably is.
-This is a very good image: "Old bones thirst for an early Spring."
-Very good closing verses, too.
-Very well done!!!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Oh Pam! I am quite humbled with your validation. Thank you so much 🙏🙏🎶🎶
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You are very welcome, Jim, and you deserved it!!!!!
Comment from Bill Schott
This zantze poem, Seasons, has the proper formatting and recognizes all the signs that the summer is gone and the fall season has definitely arrived.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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This zantze poem, Seasons, has the proper formatting and recognizes all the signs that the summer is gone and the fall season has definitely arrived.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Thank you Bill Schott!
