Reviews from

The Tor

Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "We Know Who You Were"
Adventures around & upon a hill

10 total reviews 
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is really interesting, Liz, to learn that these three women had also experienced strange phenomena. I look forward to reading the next chapter, which I think is already posted. I have fallen behind in reviewing again.

A couple of suggestions: "sporty dressed" should be sportily-dressed
Mary said, (")Yuh, hopefully this place doesn't affect you the way it did us.(") - quotation marks are missing

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your involved, supportive review.
reply by Judy Lawless on 15-Oct-2022
    You?re welcome, Liz. :)
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
    ***warm hugs***
Comment from aryr
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What an amazing continuation chapter, Liz. Immediately Cornelia and Madeline recognized the three ladies from the site as their former leaders. Mary was the Abbot, Gloria was Brother Robert and Anne was Brother John who were hung, all three of them. It was interesting that they all had glowing marks around their necks. It certainly will be a challenge but an interesting one. Blessings n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. You're right, I hadn't thought of the relationships in that way. Yes, they were meeting their leaders. I'm going to include that perception in the next chapter.
reply by aryr on 13-Oct-2022
    You are so welcome, Liz. Leave it to me to twist things up? LOL.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2022
    I am crediting you in the next chapter for inspiring me.
reply by aryr on 14-Oct-2022
    Nooo! Just leave it, Liz.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2022
    It's done ...chapter 53...It works out great
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes! This will be difficult to explain. Is there any Biblical explanation for reincarnation? There is a sect of Judaism and also there's Druzism which believe in only one set number of souls which reincarnate and the doctrine is called traducianism. Is this what you are referring to or some other way that these souls re-experience past lives?
Interesting post and glad that they met these three.
Questions:
"Hey." Her hat was lovely (Who is speaking here?)

We impulsively headed up (Is this continued speech? If so, needs open quotes)

"I will give you a head-up, though. (heads-up?)

Places missing quotations marks:
Yuh, hopefully this place doesn't affect you the way it did us.
and
I felt like my arms were being yanked out of their sockets. Fortunately, they have benches up there. I had to sit, my legs would no longer support me. I felt paralyzed.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your observant review. You are correct, I am a believer & therefore reflect that belief in this story: "There is a sect of Judaism and also there's Druzism which believe in only one set number of souls which reincarnate and the doctrine is called traducianism." Although, I did not know it had a name, cool.
reply by lyenochka on 12-Oct-2022
    There is early Church precedence. I'm sure if you research traducianism, you'll find more and maybe write us more about it.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Much of your description was delightfully eerie, Liz. About the people in the village. Whoa! A few things to mention:

"anything would be better than that vertigo producing steep railess stairway" [Vertigo-producing, grammatically needs a hyphen. But the reason for it in this instance is even clearer. Without hyphenating it, then "vertigo" could be seen as "producing" the stairway. Instead of the steepness of the rail-less stairway causing the vertigo, as you are aiming at. Both Vertigo and Producing modify the noun "stairway". A vertigo stairway makes no sense; neither does a Producing stairway make any sense. Ergo, hyphenate.]

Anne drew a line with her finger to accentuate the extent of the area of pain. [You might clarify this a bit, Liz. It sounds like she is tracing with her finger the line of pain up her back ... and, unless she is a contortionist -- well, I don't think it would be possible even then. But I'm sure you meant something different.]

This is, to me, the best that I've read of your chapters. The two small glitches aside, this still is deserving of a six!

Jay

BTW, if you have a chance, catch my new play while it's near the top of the list.
JS


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022
    Wow, Jay, I am honored to receive such a shining review. I was just looking for your latest post. I've chiseled messages down about 20 rungs of the ladder. I will see you on the other side.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You had a bit of a problem with proofreading on this section. I understand what is happening when they meet 3 more women who had had the same experience as themselves, but sometimes I wasn't sure who was talking as paragraphs seemed to be broken in half and quote marks were missing. Some examples are: . . .with the dark negative (with) Michael . . . . . . ride up here.(") (Or if Mary is still speaking) . . . individual.(") . . . around them.(") . . . climbed. I will give you a head(s) up, though. Mary's speech needs quotes after lines 2,3, &4 are added to first line. . . . she (heard) humming . . . (Who says this line?) Those 3 ladies are certainly in for a surprise when they find out what happened.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your alertness and your involved review. I have attended to your observations. OMG. I am amazed how many omissions I had.
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

trying to tell the three ladies they come fron the 16th century may be a bit awkward and not knowing how to aproach the subject to them. what a delema they have there. They may not take it so well learning the truth of the matter. i



10,11/ 5;35 pm2022------

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
    Thank for your involved review. I'm glad you're enjoying it
reply by country ranch writer on 11-Oct-2022
    rthank you yes I dis so enjoy.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
    ***smile***
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Before I started reading, I was going to ask you if the women who were killed in the 16th century managed to return from their time travel experience. I have my answer, but I don't understand how that can be. Thanks for sharing this interesting chapter. Kate xx

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. The women from the 21st-century were at time in the 16th-century and were beheaded as monks. But in this story, they were transported from the moment of their death back to the 21st-century.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a beautiful church: Tor. You can do a "snip" to get a screen capture and insert it into your piece.

Your 45 degrees climbing reminded me of my many climbing in Italy. One of them was sharper than 45 degrees, I believe. We went down 1100 steps first and then climbed back up.

I might post a short piece about climbing to a restaurant.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. It was fun to hear your relating it some of your experiences I honestly don't remember going up those steps. I think we went up a walking path. It would be cool if you did post a little piece about climbing that many steps. Whoa.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, you are a creative soul, aren't you. I enjoyed this.

One catch:
Cordelia responded to her own question. "Their aura travels out exceptionally far and it is pure white.

"How can that be with the dark negative Michael ley line crossing through here? I would never expect to find anyone with a clear, balanced aura here."
(An issue with the triple " here.)

Great work! Keep it up!

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your alert supportive review. I'm glad you are enjoying it. The adjustments have been made. Thank you.
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That last line was perfect. It sets up for whatever is coming next.
I don't always have much to say, but I want to encourage you to keep up the good work.
Thank you for continuing to share, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
    Thank you for your enthusiastic review. Did you figure out who those three women were in the 16th-century?
reply by jessizero on 10-Oct-2022
    Well, I cheated and read the introduction, but it made sense!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
    ***Chuckle***