Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 80 "Acrostic Sonnet"Musings of an old man - 2022
27 total reviews
Comment from estory
You get five stars for fitting into the acrostic as well as the formal form of the sonnet in this one. It took some work to get it all to fit in, rhythmically, in the rhyme scheme, and in the fourteen lines, all within this theme of coming up with a word puzzle to ponder. My only nit is that in the first segment you had the lines all end in the same rhyme and it was a bit monochromatic like that. I would try and vary the rhyme scheme a little bit to throw in some different sounds and make it a little more interesting. estory
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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You get five stars for fitting into the acrostic as well as the formal form of the sonnet in this one. It took some work to get it all to fit in, rhythmically, in the rhyme scheme, and in the fourteen lines, all within this theme of coming up with a word puzzle to ponder. My only nit is that in the first segment you had the lines all end in the same rhyme and it was a bit monochromatic like that. I would try and vary the rhyme scheme a little bit to throw in some different sounds and make it a little more interesting. estory
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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thanks for your review .. I felt that this losely scirbed piece was created with a bit of whimsical intention and while I colored outside the ridged lines of sonnet making I found it fun to play with the words.
Comment from Wendy G
Acrostic sonnet?! Well that is definitely a double challenge, and I am sure it took a while. I'm not up with all the metre and rhyme requirements of sonnets, but it seemed a good effort to me! Well done, and best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Acrostic sonnet?! Well that is definitely a double challenge, and I am sure it took a while. I'm not up with all the metre and rhyme requirements of sonnets, but it seemed a good effort to me! Well done, and best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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I Wendy it is a bit rough with the meter, but, boy I had fun crafting this.
Comment from karenina
Say what again? I'm loving the acrostic... I must be rhyme blind as I don't see abba abba cdcd cd here. It almost feels like a monorhyme in the first eight lines! Then cdcd / cd.... I mean, good for you! You offered much more than was needed for an acrostic and your phrasing was unique, if slightly off iambic pentameter. I'm still amazed. I'd have been thrilled with a plain old acrostic! (That would have been challenging enough for me!)
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Say what again? I'm loving the acrostic... I must be rhyme blind as I don't see abba abba cdcd cd here. It almost feels like a monorhyme in the first eight lines! Then cdcd / cd.... I mean, good for you! You offered much more than was needed for an acrostic and your phrasing was unique, if slightly off iambic pentameter. I'm still amazed. I'd have been thrilled with a plain old acrostic! (That would have been challenging enough for me!)
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Yeah, I pushed the envelope trying to do too much...,mixing a sonnet in an acostic -- what on earth was I thinking?
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The muse was in overdrive! LOL...
Comment from susand3022
Hi J, I liked the Acrostic poem. It's a really fun one. However, as to it following the Sonnet format you laid out... I'm going to call it questionable, only because I'm thinking that there ought to be a difference between 'a' and 'b'. Your format reads more like aaaa aaaa cdcd cd, so I've given you a 5. Had you totally gone for it, you'd have had a 6 no problem! Susan :)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Hi J, I liked the Acrostic poem. It's a really fun one. However, as to it following the Sonnet format you laid out... I'm going to call it questionable, only because I'm thinking that there ought to be a difference between 'a' and 'b'. Your format reads more like aaaa aaaa cdcd cd, so I've given you a 5. Had you totally gone for it, you'd have had a 6 no problem! Susan :)
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Smiles all around, I'm probably over thinking the Acrostic challenge anyway, Tough to mis poetic styles.
Comment from Terry wrote
Such a well constructed poem, one that flowed easily because of the care put ito the meter and rhyme scheme. I read it a few times before stopping to review it here. And the image ... so imaginative! Thanks for sharing both here with us.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Such a well constructed poem, one that flowed easily because of the care put ito the meter and rhyme scheme. I read it a few times before stopping to review it here. And the image ... so imaginative! Thanks for sharing both here with us.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Thank you Teri.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am a fan of Acrostic poem and this contest entry didn't disappoint me. I found it easy to read because of the flow and thought the idea of using the form of the poem for the acrostic part very creative. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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I am a fan of Acrostic poem and this contest entry didn't disappoint me. I found it easy to read because of the flow and thought the idea of using the form of the poem for the acrostic part very creative. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Smiling back with much gratitude!
Comment from Sally Law
This is a beautifully penned and uniquely illustrated acrostic poem in sonnet form, dear J. I can't say I've ever seen this. You've improved it in your unique style. A master in your craft.
Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contests, Sally XOs
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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This is a beautifully penned and uniquely illustrated acrostic poem in sonnet form, dear J. I can't say I've ever seen this. You've improved it in your unique style. A master in your craft.
Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contests, Sally XOs
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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SAlly, smiles abound here with your kind words.
Comment from lavendermoon14
Very clever! I also like that you used color to highlight the words, it's such a small detail but it really adds to the poem. This is a very fun poem in both the construct and the delivery.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Very clever! I also like that you used color to highlight the words, it's such a small detail but it really adds to the poem. This is a very fun poem in both the construct and the delivery.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Rachel, thanl you!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
if "To err is not condoned around here," why is somewhat, spelled somwhat in line two of paragraph two. And another thing that would be helpful is increasing your font size once or twice. All else I think meets the criteria and you did a whale of a job.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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if "To err is not condoned around here," why is somewhat, spelled somwhat in line two of paragraph two. And another thing that would be helpful is increasing your font size once or twice. All else I think meets the criteria and you did a whale of a job.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Great set of eyes..
Thanks
Comment from lyenochka
I'm impressed that you attempted an ACROSTIC sonnet! For that effort you should get extra credit !! It was ten syllables throughout but the iambic meter was lost in places. Still, you should be applauded for making a difficult form more challenging as well as intellectually playful. Hope you do well in the contest!
Obliged to be succinct in this style somwhat, (somewhat)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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I'm impressed that you attempted an ACROSTIC sonnet! For that effort you should get extra credit !! It was ten syllables throughout but the iambic meter was lost in places. Still, you should be applauded for making a difficult form more challenging as well as intellectually playful. Hope you do well in the contest!
Obliged to be succinct in this style somwhat, (somewhat)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Smiling with a bit of tongue in the cheek fun?playing outside the black and white box seems so freeing?
