The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Slow the Cadence"Adventures around & upon a hill
12 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"to begin to with" should be to begin with.
"lock and barricaded door" should be locked and barricaded door, to keep both words past tense.
"others witnessed should be others witnessed (add a " after witnessed).
Would be strange living this experiences and many years later being reincarnated as different people and experiencing them again.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
  |
"to begin to with" should be to begin with.
"lock and barricaded door" should be locked and barricaded door, to keep both words past tense.
"others witnessed should be others witnessed (add a " after witnessed).
Would be strange living this experiences and many years later being reincarnated as different people and experiencing them again.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your vigilant review. No one else caught those. My thought is no matter what difficulties we experience in this lifetime, things have been much worse & hopefully can only get more comfortable in future lifetimes.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting explanation for the pain the three new women were experiencing. There are a few things you might want to change. In place of fixed, you might want to use fixated. I don't remember that the king's men talked their way in. Didn't they use a battering ram instead of bombasting their way in? The kind was Henry VIII. To make a line easier to read, you might say . . . announced a death sentence for our . . .
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
|
This is an interesting explanation for the pain the three new women were experiencing. There are a few things you might want to change. In place of fixed, you might want to use fixated. I don't remember that the king's men talked their way in. Didn't they use a battering ram instead of bombasting their way in? The kind was Henry VIII. To make a line easier to read, you might say . . . announced a death sentence for our . . .
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your observant review. I have attended to your listings.
Comment from Jay Squires
So, the three women coming down from Tor were actually Richard, the Abbot and the brothers, John and Robert from the monastery. Fascinating how the rope marks appeared on their throats as their part was reinacted by Madeline. I'll be anxious to see where you're going with this.
Jay
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
|
So, the three women coming down from Tor were actually Richard, the Abbot and the brothers, John and Robert from the monastery. Fascinating how the rope marks appeared on their throats as their part was reinacted by Madeline. I'll be anxious to see where you're going with this.
Jay
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Judy Lawless
It seemed like Mary, Anne and Gloria remained quiet while Cordelia spoke, trying to understand what was being told to them. They, obviously had no prior knowledge, or belief of "former lives." This is almost spooky, Liz, a Halloween tale. You've done a great job of writing it. Now I wonder how this knowledge will effect these women.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
|
It seemed like Mary, Anne and Gloria remained quiet while Cordelia spoke, trying to understand what was being told to them. They, obviously had no prior knowledge, or belief of "former lives." This is almost spooky, Liz, a Halloween tale. You've done a great job of writing it. Now I wonder how this knowledge will effect these women.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your involved, entertaining review.
Comment from Mabaker12
Now writing like this will get you a book deal, Dear Liz. That was so inspirational, it shows your talent to the fullest, and if Alie had a say in it shows how completely you are regarded. You are receiving a six for totally engaging writing. Brillant! Love U Anne.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
 |
Now writing like this will get you a book deal, Dear Liz. That was so inspirational, it shows your talent to the fullest, and if Alie had a say in it shows how completely you are regarded. You are receiving a six for totally engaging writing. Brillant! Love U Anne.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2022
-
Wow. Thank you for your shiny glowing review. I put my friends in my stories. If you notice the name of the characters. you are there. We all met with unpleasant deaths.
Comment from jessizero
I can understand Mary's reluctance to believe the story, even with the rope marks and painful sensations. It is a lot to believe. Thank you so much for continuing to share, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
|
I can understand Mary's reluctance to believe the story, even with the rope marks and painful sensations. It is a lot to believe. Thank you so much for continuing to share, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your involved, supportive review.
Comment from aryr
This indeed was a great continuation chapter, Liz. I am so glad that the truth is out and rather intrigued to the pending reply to Mary's questions. Rather amazing isn't it that she thought of those questions. Blessings n Hugs!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
|
This indeed was a great continuation chapter, Liz. I am so glad that the truth is out and rather intrigued to the pending reply to Mary's questions. Rather amazing isn't it that she thought of those questions. Blessings n Hugs!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your involved, supportive review.
-
You are so very welcomed, Liz, it was my pleasure.
-
***Warm Hugs***
-
A BIG GRIN...
-
Grinning back
Comment from lyenochka
It's great that Karin could slow down the cadence so that the three new ladies could comprehend what was being said. Apparently, their unusual message through!
Comments:
Cordelia jumped into help me out. (in) "into" would require more like "into the conversation"
When the King's soldiers violently (open quotes needed here)
in the 16th-century?" How (remove quotes after question mark as dialog continues)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
|
It's great that Karin could slow down the cadence so that the three new ladies could comprehend what was being said. Apparently, their unusual message through!
Comments:
Cordelia jumped into help me out. (in) "into" would require more like "into the conversation"
When the King's soldiers violently (open quotes needed here)
in the 16th-century?" How (remove quotes after question mark as dialog continues)
Comment Written 15-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your observant, loyal review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting read. The pace is good. The images are clear. The language is conversational. This excerpt ends at a good spot.
Suggestions:
Cordelia jumped into help me out.
I think you need "in to" here not into.
You may have unforeseen reactions just to hear the next set of event these others witnessed.
This sentence seems a bit clumsy. I would suggest changing "to hear" into hearing. Also "event" should be plural since it is a set meaning more than one. I am not sure you need the "just to".
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
|
An interesting read. The pace is good. The images are clear. The language is conversational. This excerpt ends at a good spot.
Suggestions:
Cordelia jumped into help me out.
I think you need "in to" here not into.
You may have unforeseen reactions just to hear the next set of event these others witnessed.
This sentence seems a bit clumsy. I would suggest changing "to hear" into hearing. Also "event" should be plural since it is a set meaning more than one. I am not sure you need the "just to".
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your involved, observant review.
-
You are welcome.
-
***Hugs***
-
You are welcome. Peace.
-
Peace to you also
Comment from lancellot
A very good chapter. Just a few notes. Good job.
notes:
Turning my attention to Mary, Gloria, and Anne, I {continued. "We} both complained of severe headaches.
-continued, "We (speech tag)
Cyndy added her take on {things. " Evidently,} that really happened
-things, "Evidently,
she slowed her cadence as she {continued. "You} may have unforeseen
-continued, "You
{16th-century?" How }could this be? Do you people believe in past lives?"
-16th-century? How
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
|
A very good chapter. Just a few notes. Good job.
notes:
Turning my attention to Mary, Gloria, and Anne, I {continued. "We} both complained of severe headaches.
-continued, "We (speech tag)
Cyndy added her take on {things. " Evidently,} that really happened
-things, "Evidently,
she slowed her cadence as she {continued. "You} may have unforeseen
-continued, "You
{16th-century?" How }could this be? Do you people believe in past lives?"
-16th-century? How
Comment Written 14-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for your involved, observant review.
