The Walkers
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Cal's Rage!"The Final Gabriel Hope Journey
7 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Seems "Cal" is having an ongoing confrontation in her head going so far as to snap at the "pretty boy" Chris, who's misfortunate was asking Cal if she was okay after tripping over a rock.
So true hate can consume.
"You're Legions are standing" should be Your legions are standing, since you do not mean You are Legions are standing beside me...
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Seems "Cal" is having an ongoing confrontation in her head going so far as to snap at the "pretty boy" Chris, who's misfortunate was asking Cal if she was okay after tripping over a rock.
So true hate can consume.
"You're Legions are standing" should be Your legions are standing, since you do not mean You are Legions are standing beside me...
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Hi, Brett. I'll get that fixed. Thank you for your kind words, and help with this chapter. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoying your spiritual fiction story. You have come up with some clever ideas for this story. I wonder when you got your inspiration. This group will be changed once they got through the last portal back into where they have more human needs. This plot is different from anything I've read before.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
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I'm enjoying your spiritual fiction story. You have come up with some clever ideas for this story. I wonder when you got your inspiration. This group will be changed once they got through the last portal back into where they have more human needs. This plot is different from anything I've read before.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2022
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Hi, Beth. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Oh, I like your story! It has a lot to do with spiritual warfare, and it always helps to remember that God, His angels and His saints are on the winning side. I think I may have read a chapter or two of your story before, but I'm not sure -- unless you wrote something similar, in the past. I think I'd like to follow it.
Here are a few possible revisions, for your consideration:
The other Warriors slip into the darkness of the crevises, except Cal.
=>
The other Warriors slip into the darkness of the crevices, except Cal.
"To the Great Himalaya's Master,
=>
"To the Great Himalayas, Master,
"Start checking all of our operations in Nothern India ...
=>
"Start checking all of our operations in Northern India ...
Also, "Leviathan" in the Bible is spelled differently from the character in your story, but your "Leviathon" may not be a gigantic sea creature, which makes the alternative spelling OK. Also, the Biblical Leviathan is not portrayed as a demon, which apparently, your character here is.
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I also like that South Asia (Nepal and India) are in your story. As a result of being on Zoom for about two years, our church made some beloved friends in India and Bangladesh.
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Oh, it's you, Mike! I'm happy to know that.
Your name wasn't shown at the top. Now that I realize you're writing this, I'll try to read it when you post, if I can, and even catch up if I have time.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Oh, I like your story! It has a lot to do with spiritual warfare, and it always helps to remember that God, His angels and His saints are on the winning side. I think I may have read a chapter or two of your story before, but I'm not sure -- unless you wrote something similar, in the past. I think I'd like to follow it.
Here are a few possible revisions, for your consideration:
The other Warriors slip into the darkness of the crevises, except Cal.
=>
The other Warriors slip into the darkness of the crevices, except Cal.
"To the Great Himalaya's Master,
=>
"To the Great Himalayas, Master,
"Start checking all of our operations in Nothern India ...
=>
"Start checking all of our operations in Northern India ...
Also, "Leviathan" in the Bible is spelled differently from the character in your story, but your "Leviathon" may not be a gigantic sea creature, which makes the alternative spelling OK. Also, the Biblical Leviathan is not portrayed as a demon, which apparently, your character here is.
***
I also like that South Asia (Nepal and India) are in your story. As a result of being on Zoom for about two years, our church made some beloved friends in India and Bangladesh.
***
Oh, it's you, Mike! I'm happy to know that.
Your name wasn't shown at the top. Now that I realize you're writing this, I'll try to read it when you post, if I can, and even catch up if I have time.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Hi, Mary Kay. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story! I'd nominate you for reviewer of the month, but I don't have any left.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from estory
You have really great, clearly defined characters in this chapter, and you used this warrior motif to make the struggle of good versus evil very clear with sharp contrasts. Satan's character is nicely defined. I think this is great maybe for the teen audience. A great Christain Teen story. estory
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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You have really great, clearly defined characters in this chapter, and you used this warrior motif to make the struggle of good versus evil very clear with sharp contrasts. Satan's character is nicely defined. I think this is great maybe for the teen audience. A great Christain Teen story. estory
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words! I thought about it as a YA book.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from royowen
Once more we see the heavenly soldiers of the Lord, today they're in China and walking towards the portal that will lead them to Nepal, and poor old Cal has a rage inside of her that is hard to contain, Leviathan the leader of the Satan's western Asian forces is in command there, and the heavenly crew are going to engage him, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : In no(r)thern India
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Once more we see the heavenly soldiers of the Lord, today they're in China and walking towards the portal that will lead them to Nepal, and poor old Cal has a rage inside of her that is hard to contain, Leviathan the leader of the Satan's western Asian forces is in command there, and the heavenly crew are going to engage him, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : In no(r)thern India
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Hi, Roy. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story. I'll get that fixed.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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Most welcome
Comment from Maria Millsaps
An exciting journey to the unknown. Tales of the unknown are fascinating and capture the imagination of readers. This is the point of no return, where the battle begins. You already started mounting up the forces, so yeah, you are doing great building your storyline.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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An exciting journey to the unknown. Tales of the unknown are fascinating and capture the imagination of readers. This is the point of no return, where the battle begins. You already started mounting up the forces, so yeah, you are doing great building your storyline.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words! I'll be by to read.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is my second time jumping into this. I will say again that you do have quite a creative mind.
I saw no grammatical issues, although I tried!
Good writing and good content! Thanks for the interesting read!
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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This is my second time jumping into this. I will say again that you do have quite a creative mind.
I saw no grammatical issues, although I tried!
Good writing and good content! Thanks for the interesting read!
Comment Written 26-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Hi, Douglas. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
